EMAIL THREAD

Do men get attracted to fat women?

All you guys there on PT, send in your opinions! What makes a fat girl appealing to you?

Tue. Aug 29, 7:28am

Im not a man, but i would say YES! Have you seen the Ads for BBW? Big beautiful women!)
I say strut ya stuff- Flaunt what ya momma gave ya girl! (or what Dunkin donuts gave me! lol)

~Workout25

Tuesday, August 29, 2006, 10:00 AM

Edit please.......

What i was meaning to say, was i personally think its about confidence!
I think most men will be attracted to an outgoing larger sixed woman and a thinner girl who is a walflower ;)

~workout25

Tuesday, August 29, 2006, 10:02 AM

I dunno about the buff, health-conscious guys on PT, but I (female) go around town with a (female) friend who is 150# overweight, and guys just DROOL after her when they think no one sees them. She gets double- and triple- takes.

I also went out for a while with a guy who was interested in much older women. (In my late 30's, and he thought I was too young to be REALLY attractive!) I think that while guys don't like to admit when they have non-mainstream tastes, there are a significant number out there who find a broad spectrum of women attractive or who have fetishes for particular things that others might find unattractive.

Tuesday, August 29, 2006, 11:30 AM

I think Black and Spanish men like the bigger girls, but not the "average" White man.

Tuesday, August 29, 2006, 11:35 AM

I personally do not know any men that prefer big women but that is just from the men I know. And that could also have to do with self-esteem and confidence...

Tuesday, August 29, 2006, 12:14 PM

I know men who are attracted to heavier women who hide the fact because they get ribbed by their buddies. In fact one of them is a friend of mine and he flat out stated that he preferred a woman who (and I remember almost exactly what he said because it wowed me so much considering the types of girls he always dates lol) said "If it were up to me I'd rather have a woman who's a size 18 and comfortable with herself than one who is a size 6 and always obsessing about her weight." So maybe it's as much about self confidence for some men as it is about the weight issue.

I think everyone has their specific likes and dislikes; it's not wrong or right...it just is.

Tuesday, August 29, 2006, 3:23 PM

I think it depends on the guy ! There is obese,chubby and valuptious. Most men are not attrated to skinny. What about the song about a big butt woman1 everyone has differnt taste. I have atleast 60lbs to loose and I am 50 Can you believe Ive had men hit on me. Whatever! Beauty is skindeep but ugly is through and through!

Tuesday, August 29, 2006, 10:42 PM

I used to weight 250+ pounds and was a size 22/24 and had PLENTY of attention from men, always had a boyfriend.

Tuesday, August 29, 2006, 11:07 PM

What! None of the men responded!?
OP, such men are not on PT at least!

Wednesday, August 30, 2006, 1:15 AM

I have always been pysically attracted to fat women.

I have never tried to analyse why, I always notice bigger girls more than thin girls and I find them very very sexy.

Sunday, January 7, 2007, 12:55 PM

I think that if a man can look past the physical things and when he falls for her he will be just as attracted to her as he would a skinnier woman. It's all about what is on the inside that makes people sexy.

Sunday, January 7, 2007, 4:09 PM

My buddy likes BIg boobs. Like, must be a D, preferably a DD or bigger. And he likes them to be real. As a result, the rest of the woman is usually on the larger size too, and he's totally fine with that if she's got a big rack. He's white. My BF likes a girl with a booty in the back. He's white. His cousin, also white, likes a girl with a BIG butt. I'm not talking curvy, but BIG.

The extra 10-15 lbs we women think we need to lose, most guys don't care about. I wanna lose 15, the bf likes me just the way I am. And most of my life I've always been curvy/voluptuous, and I've NEVER had a problem getting male attention.

Sunday, January 7, 2007, 5:18 PM

all you have to do is l;ook at the dating sites for BBW and you will see there are all kinds and all colors of men who love BIG women ..and there are some FINE men on those sites..dont let hollywood fool you..we live in the REAL world

Sunday, January 7, 2007, 6:12 PM

my hubby's white he says its more cushion for the pushin.lol.

Sunday, January 7, 2007, 11:27 PM

well-while i definitely have gotten more attention now that i'm slimme,r when i weighed a lot more-there absolutely were men who were attracted to me. i think attraction is about more than one's size-personality, manners, style, hair cut/makeup etc really make a difference too. at 200 lbs, i definitely had dates, and got hit on, and i got a TON of attention at 170 lbs-in fact that's how much i weighed when i met my current boyfriend (almost 3 years ago) and he still thinks i'm hot at 140 lbs!

Monday, January 8, 2007, 12:12 AM

the answer is yes,

I am not a man.

A research shows that 70% of men like women with some meat on their bodies. From this, I think quite men love fat women. I know there are a lot of FA which means bbw admirers at.largeplace.com

Thursday, December 27, 2007, 6:20 AM

There is a guy who is currently trying to hook up with me which i have known for a while. At first i questioned his intentions because i recently lost 50 lbs. He never said anything to me before, only now did he finally decide to take a step forward. He says that if i were to gain the 50llbs again, and be as confident as i am now, he would still be attracted to me.

Therefore i think it's all about confidence. If you are confident and are comfortble with your body, others notice this and flock to you.

Thursday, December 27, 2007, 9:35 AM

6"20 SOme meat on their bones doesn't have to mean fat in general. A girl can be a normal weight and have meat on her bones. It depends on how toned they are. I know a lot of men who would take a women with extra weight as long as she is comfortable with herself and is confident. I have always had a weight problem and have never had an issue with men. Even at my biggest men always approached me and they weren't all just black or spanish, they were all types. When a women feels good about herself and is happy and confident, basically when she feels sexy, men can't help but notice, its like she puts out a scent of some kind.

Thursday, December 27, 2007, 10:51 AM

Yes, but its not socially accepted

I think many men - maybe not most but a good percentage of them - find heavier women attractive. Men like the large breasts and butts that come with a larger package. Plus, just because you are heavy doesn't mean you are suddenly not beautiful. I know plenty of absolutely gorgeous women that are also overweight, and most men still notice that beauty regardless of their heaviness. One of my best friends is probably about 50 pounds overweight and she gets a lot of attention from guys, especially black and Latin men.

HOWEVER - I have been a size 14/XL and now I am a size 8-10/M and I get way more attention from men now. Like, an astronomical difference. I don't think my face looks that different, and yes my slimmer figure is cuter, but its not like I have a "hot body" yet. And my boobs have totally wilted - its tragic.

So what my friends and I have concluded is simply - Men get sh*t for dating heavier women. Its sad and shallow but very true. Once you are not fat and you hang around younger men enough you will invariably hear jokes about drunken hookups with "fat chicks". It is supposed to be embarrassing to get with a heavier woman because men are so focused on bodies, or at least they are supposed to be. But its somewhat more acceptable to hook up with heavy woman while drunk, which is why sadly a lot of overweight girls (including myself) have random hook ups that never call, and don't get asked out often. Of course there are exceptions to this - there are men out there that are totally not ashamed to be attracted to and love a heavier woman. But socially, it is not really accepted among men so they hide it. While I think I look more attractive now than I did before, I don't think it is so much so that I should get advances from so much more men. I am just in a normal weight range so I am not off limits.

Having said that, don't take that to mean that men are shallow pigs. I am naturally more attracted to men of average weight than overweight men. That doesn't mean they are necessarily more attractive but overweight people are often not as desired. And let's be honest - fat is ugly. We don't need lots of it on our bodies. Yes, it might make our breasts and butts bigger, but I would rather let my body exist in the healthy form it is supposed to be in.

Thursday, December 27, 2007, 11:54 PM

"Men get shit for dating larger women" I think it really depends on the age of a man. No self respecting, intelligent, confident man is going to let his peers dictate what sort of woman he wants to date. Younger men, say in the 30's and down are the ones who let what others think bother them.

Friday, December 28, 2007, 2:08 AM

True, but there are SOME men that will genuinely look at what's on the inside and not the outside. I was pretty plump when I met my husband, about 80 lbs overweight and he was always the sweetest man. Told me I was gorgeous all the time, etc. I am now pretty thin and have been for 10 plus years (now a size 4/6) but he loves me now just like he did then. My wt loss was for me, no one else.
Now, on the other hand, I sure do get hit on now more than I did when I was overweight. That tells another story but I'm telling you there are very decent men out there that don't care what size you are.

Friday, December 28, 2007, 9:43 AM

Hate to break it to you honey but plump is not 80 extra pounds, plump is maybe 20, 80 extra pounds is just obese no matter how you look at it. But good for you for losing the weight!

Friday, December 28, 2007, 10:27 AM

Ok, so I WAS fat, does that make a difference in the intent of the post?
I don't think so! The point is that there are great men out there that don't care what's on the outside!

Friday, December 28, 2007, 7:26 PM

I am a single mother in her early thirties and am living proof that most successful, uppper to middle class white males in their 30's do not like fat women. I am fairly attractive, but fat. When I was thinner at about 175, I was told I was hot. I was full of muscle and still am, but I am truly just friggin fat now. There is no and's if's and buts. I carry it well so to speak if you can say you carry fat well. I am not grossly huge in any one area, just tall and overall fairly large at 5'8" and 270 lbs. Men do not even give me a second glance as compared to what they did when I was average looking. I don't meet men, don't have any dates, and don't get a chance with men because of nothing more than my size. Fat is ugly no matter how you look at it. If it wasn't, we wouldnt all be here looking at these boards and posting so we can lose weight.

Depressing it is, but that is how life is for fat people.

Friday, December 28, 2007, 8:51 PM

I totally disagree. I am 36 and 90 pounds overweight and date all the time. I think it really depends on the type of men you meet and how you present yourself. If you are dressing frumpy and trying to hide yourself your not going to get many men approaching you. Even as big as I am I have 2 different men that I date regularly. They are both professional men with lots of confidence. One I have been seeing for about 6 months and the other for almost a year now. So it is possible and it does happen. Maybe you need to put a better light on yourself.

Friday, December 28, 2007, 9:22 PM

8:51 AGAIN

Send them my direction 9:22!! I am not finding anybody worth dating and I spend a fortune on my hair, nails, clothes, and don't dress frumpy. I have a professional job and just want a nice looking, nice guy who can keep up with me intellectually and otherwise.

Friday, December 28, 2007, 10:47 PM

To 8:51

First of all, I don't mean to pass a judgment about what weight is right for you because I don't know you and I'm not your doctor, so if I am way off about your goal please forgive me. However, I am an inch shorter than you and my goal weight is a reasonable 140 (almost there!!). If your goal was 145 you would still be 125 pounds overweight. While the 9:22 is unhealthily overweight, I think the 35 pound difference could indeed make a difference between quite overweight and obese. Obesity is unattractive and its a barrier for many. Be honest - how many obese men have you met that you found attractive? For men its even harder because they are more visual than women oftentimes. I think if you lost even just 20 pounds, 8:51, not only would you be healthier and more confident but men would notice you more, but because of the sad fact that obesity makes people invisible.

Having said that, I am sure the confidence that 9:22 surely exudes helps a lot. Even if you put a lot effort into grooming, if you don't hold yourself tall and feel assured in who you are as a person - the stuff that has nothing to do with the outer package - the grooming doesn't amount to much.

Have you tried dating websites? I have heard great things about match.com. And there are also websites specifically for BBW women, though the men you date may not be so thrilled when you start shrinking to your "fighting weight" ;)

Saturday, December 29, 2007, 1:20 AM

I'm 5'6 and my goal is 160. That would put me at 21% bf. So if Ms. 5'8 270lbs is big boned and muscluar, then 180 may be reasonable for her, and she'd be the same 90lbs over weight as the other person.

Sadly, weight can be very misleading, especially for us with a lot of muscle. Ever notice BMI doesn't differentiate between male and female? BMI is worthless. You can't accurately guess the "reasonable" weight for a person just by their height.

Saturday, December 29, 2007, 3:11 AM

Attraction

Well I personally weigh 279 right now at my heaviest I weighted 310. I have NEVER had a problem with men talking to me, or telling me how pretty I am, or dating me. Not ever. It's definitely how you present yourself if your walking around feeling horrible about yourself it will show no matter how many pretty clothes you put on.

Sunday, December 30, 2007, 8:02 PM

Friday night I went out with a girl friend to celebrate her birthday. She's a size ten and I'm a size 14. We were some of the smallest women in the club. A large percentage of the women were size 22 or more. The women were confident, beautiful and appeared to not be worried about picking up men. The men in the club were all different sizes. The larger women definitely received attention from the men in the club. My husband says he likes a women with "meat on her bones". I really think it depends on the way the woman carries herself.

Sunday, December 30, 2007, 8:21 PM

Thanks 3:11. I am the poster who said "send them my way" and then was told I was obese as opposed to a woman 90 lbs overweight and that is why men don't look. Ok..... makes sense huh? I just decided the other day after it was said not to bother to comment again it was such a dumb statement. Like 90 lbs overweight isn't obese just the same as I am. We are all here because we are overweight or trying to maintain our weight loss. Support is what i need from PT. Thank you for understanding my point.

I am just as you described. Muscular and larger framed. No one would ever guess how much I weigh even when I was 165 lbs. I looked very thin. No one ever guesses I weigh what I do at this point although still fat. Not even nurses when they move the little bar on the scale. I am ike "keep moving". LOL

I am just saying with men, I feel that there is a definate interest in women with nice bodies and in general fat is not attractive although there can be some women with a little extra weight that are attractive. d

Sunday, December 30, 2007, 8:56 PM

Why do females think they can answer for men? I hate these threads directed toward men, only to have a woman say ... "I'm not a man, but ..."

Monday, December 31, 2007, 11:16 AM

Most men are predictable and easy to understand.
Also, women are analytical by nature.

Monday, December 31, 2007, 11:18 AM

I think it's a question of confidence. I don't want to come across as disrepectful , I just think I'm being honest and sometimes the truth hurts.
I don't think that any guy find fat women attractive , I think some guys just have low confidence and will settle for any woman because they feel it's better than nothing. If a guy was at a nightclub and had a fat woman and a Beyonce Knowles look-a-like including the sexy body , interested in them there's no doubt in my mind which one all the men would choose. It's a part of nature, that's what guys want
is a sexy slim attractive looking woman. But I'm sure some overweight woman are really nice people and good on them

Wednesday, January 2, 2008, 3:18 PM

As a girl who was told by a very cute very in shape guy, that my size 14 body was too small, and that he likes ROUND women, let me assure you that not all men want that "slim sexy attractive" bullshit that some women buy into.

No, most men aren't attracted to obese bodies. But even then, there are many that are. And there are many that find "Slim" women too fragile, too wussy, or just not womanly enough in appearance. And men may be more interested in banging that "pretty woman" but most guys out there who want a relationship, think about the whole person, not just the body.

Wednesday, January 2, 2008, 3:39 PM

I sorry but I have to disagree with you there I think fat women appear masuline and slim sexy women come across as more feminine and delicate , in most cases. and that's what ALL guys want is sexy , slim , attractive feminine delicate women and any guy that says they only want overweight macho women are simply lying .That's how NATURE intened it to be. Just like women look for confident men who are in control of there own emotions and their lives. I think any guy will , in their own minds, agree with this. You see with guys this is how attraction works , as follows, Guys sees slim sexy horny woman and wants her. Because for guys personality isn't what guys get attracted too , although a good personality in a woman is a bonus, but not the number one priority. Sorry just being honest here and most guys know that too.

Wednesday, January 2, 2008, 3:59 PM

As a woman who has been both thin and fat lol, I think I am qualified to give an opinion. When I was 140lbs at 5'6, men were all over me, sending drinks over, coming over to introduce themselves, calling, gifts, over the top situations etc.. At 210 pounds it is MUCH different - although I have to say there will always be atleast one or two (decent not a loser) gusy who approachs me, filrts etc But the volume is dramatically lower than when I was thin. I think part of it is how you carry yourself as previous posters have said. When I go out I dress really well (like i care about my appearance despite the fact I am 50 lbs overweight, sounds crazy i know) have the hair and make up looking good, have a few drinks, relax and dance. I think a good attitude will draw people to you, but seriously, not being obese increases your chances. : )

Wednesday, January 2, 2008, 4:32 PM

Also one thing I forgot to say in my 4:32 post, i do think most guys like more meat on the bones but meat being like a beyonce, NOT 40, 50+ pounds of meat.

Wednesday, January 2, 2008, 4:41 PM

Sure I think some guys will go for the obese women cos they have low self-esteem but then if they get the chance with a slim attractive woman , there's just no way on God's green down would they turn the oppertunity down I can tell you that for sure. I'm sure some of the obese women do get approached by some guys but I can tell you if they had a chance with a slim sexy woman they would take it, no ifs and buts. I myself do not find obese women attractive and I don't know of any guy in the real world that does , sure though they may well get with a fat woman but only cos they don't have the confidence to approach sexy slim women. Don't think I'm being shallow cos I'm not just saying what is a fact.

Wednesday, January 2, 2008, 5:42 PM

LOL, the above poster is kinda funny. I totally agree. I think that even if a guy is in love with a girl that is obese he secretly wishes she was of a more normal weight. I don't care what he says. I know there are all of you that will say "he loves me no matter what" but the bottom line he may love you and that is why he is not going to tell you he wants half of you, lol. He just doesn't want to hurt your feelings. But when the thinner, curvy girl walks by, he notices.

Wednesday, January 2, 2008, 6:40 PM

There are a lot of us men out herre that disagree with the previooous poster. I've been with slim, trim women and I've been with round curvy women, and quiet frankly I would choose the curvy over slim. They feel better when holding them and they are soft. I am not talking about obese here, but if a woman has an extra 20-30 pounds I would never dismiss her, BUT she has to have confidence and a great personality, and definitely no dumbies. But then again I am a 41 divorced, professional man, maybe in my 20's I would have only thought to go for the stick figure.

Wednesday, January 2, 2008, 9:23 PM

bump

Wednesday, January 2, 2008, 9:23 PM

I absolutely agree with you. I have a girlfriend who is a good 50 lbs overweight and has such confidence! One night we were out and I heard these girls say, why can't I be a big girl with confidence like that. It is all in how you present yourself. I know that my husband loves me just the way I am, and he married me 50 lbs ago. All depends on the man!

Wednesday, January 2, 2008, 9:31 PM

I think "yes" absolutely!! Many men are not nearly as conscious of a woman's weight, as other women. My husband thinks I'm the sexiest thing alive.....he's has no idea I'm about 70 pounds heavier than when he married me. :) Love really is blind, I guess.
-thisisit8

Wednesday, January 2, 2008, 9:52 PM

Sorry honey, your man may think your the sexist thing alive and that is great but believe me he knows you have gained 70 pounds since you got married. It may not bother him and obviously he enjoys the bigger you, there is jsut more to love but if you think he is blind about 70 pounds you've got to be in denial. Any man is going to see and feel the difference of even 20 pounds.

Thursday, January 3, 2008, 2:07 AM

I don't care what anyone says all men want slimmer women and that's that. You can disagree with this post as much as you want. Any guy who says they want obese women are simply lying. Sure some guys don't mind a woman a few pounds overweight but even then they would still prefer a slimmer woman and I'm not saying skinny just normal weight women.

Thursday, January 3, 2008, 4:03 PM

If a guy walks into a bar , and there were 100 obese women and 100 slimmer women he instantly notices the slimmer women. It's instinct . He doesn't think who has the best personallity , just instictively notices the slimmer women.

Thursday, January 3, 2008, 4:20 PM

Maybe on some of the more surface levels (society based) we want the more slim women, but realistically there is NOTHING more attractive, sexy and devouring then a heavy woman who is confident with her body.
A voluptuous 5'5 -5'8,
50-38-44, roughly 200- 230 lbs makes my heart race and it always has ever since i was a little guy.

I have been married for 5 years to a beautiful Swedish woman who is very curvy, not the extreme listed above but still very attractive. The older i have gotten (36) i realize what i really want in a women and I realize what makes my friends and most men for that matter tick, again slim is strictly society based; a man’s attention is always to a healthy rosy checked buxom woman whether it is noticeable or not.

I found this site by accident and had to join to explain a true guys view on this matter...

Thursday, January 10, 2008, 5:07 PM

I'm a bi-sexual woman, i have to admit i agree with 5:07, I like a curvier, thicker woman, for some reason the attraction really just grabs me, more so than with a thinner woman. on the other hand i like my men to be athletic looking, built and gorgeous - think David Beckham lol

Thursday, January 10, 2008, 6:14 PM

Thank you 5:07. There are absolutely men who prefer curvier women- not slim. Those who deny your existence obviously have issues...

Thursday, January 10, 2008, 9:00 PM

I think someone who is 5'5" and 230 lbs has more "issues" than someone who thinks men prefer fat women. How can one be thinking their body at that size is attractive?

Thursday, January 10, 2008, 10:20 PM

i would say yes there are men who would love too have a full- figured woman, that is strong, beautiful, and knows it. As women we have to learn to tell men or who ever " what you see.. is what you are getting" and stand by that.

Thursday, January 10, 2008, 11:42 PM

10:20, you obviously have never heard beauty is in the eye of the beholder. If 5:07 thinks a 230lb woman is hot, well then of course she's entitled to think she's hot.

Every woman is entitled to think she is attractive, regardless of her size. Just because you don't think they're attractive doesn't mean someone else won't think they are.

Thursday, January 10, 2008, 11:56 PM

I agree with 10:20

It is one thing to be turned on by fat women (ranks up there necrophilia, incest, and beastiality), but if you take one on long term, then you get all their baggage about what made them fat in the first palce.

Friday, January 11, 2008, 9:24 AM

Looks like I shook some ground here. My statement in 5:07 of 5'5", 230lbs is an example and an extreme - there is certainly a limit. I was thinking of the most curves I could put together while keeping a woman a woman. Think of I guess Devin Taylor; a bbw model.

Unfortunately not every woman can get away with stats like this; on the same token not every women can embrace a slender frame. It obviously depends on where the curves are, how you handle it.

Friday, January 11, 2008, 10:39 AM

9:24-
I'm not a large woman, but your comment "...to be turned on by fat women (ranks up there (with) necrophilia, incest, and beastiality),... really made me laugh! I think it may be more parallel with being turned on my dark hair, cute feet, or a big butt...not so much parallel with being turned on by the dead, your sister, or your dog!

Were you just trying to convey that it's not the sexual norm? Either way, it was a good laugh. Thanks!

Friday, January 11, 2008, 10:46 AM

NO!

Friday, January 11, 2008, 11:38 AM

It happens. I've had relationships with two very attractive men while I've been heavy, however it's somewhat hard for me to date. I'm 21, a student, and right now I'm living with my mother so I can save up for a volunteer program in South Africa. Most "men" my age, are not going to admit being attracted to me because they're still at that stage where they're buddies have so much influence on their lives. Right now they're getting out of college, trying to find a thinner blond and a faster car than what the next guy has.

Friday, January 11, 2008, 9:17 PM

Yeah, I am loving the funny comment about necrophilia and so on in connection with sleeping with fat women, ha ha. That was a good laugh.

Friday, January 11, 2008, 10:12 PM

Had no clue who Devin Taylor was so I googled for her. She is nasty looking, her tits are way to big and saggy, and she describes herself as chubby. Sorry but she is just plain fat, with a 47' chest and 50' hips and rolls hanging here and there and big ole fat thighs.

Saturday, January 12, 2008, 2:16 AM

if you are big, do you not have a big chip on your shoulder? how are we suppose to be attracted to that?

Saturday, January 12, 2008, 2:54 AM

I'll agree Devon is fat, but so what? Obviously she's a model making money because some guys like that. Sire, I prefer the look of a lot of women at hipsandcurves.com, but seriously, guys like lots of different sizes and shapes. About the only thing they'll agree upon is that they don't like women who lack confidence.

Saturday, January 12, 2008, 1:02 PM

THANKS!!

Oh my gosh....I can't believe how mean you guys are sometimes. I'm doing so great with my exercise and weight loss...and some b-- on this post just shot me way down for something I said. So, F-U. You don't know me, or my husband. And, I hate that you're so damn negative, and presumptuous. Glad you're not on any of my teams. What an unbelievable downer.

Saturday, January 12, 2008, 3:47 PM

1:02, I am a woman and was curious to what the women at hipsandcurves.com looked like. Thank you, I agree those are some nice shapely women, to me their is a big difference in shapely and fat. Even some of them had a little pot belly but it was small and pleasing. I guess I would sort of fit into that category.

Saturday, January 12, 2008, 6:02 PM

Do Men Get Attracted To Fat Women?

Dear God Woman.........
I am female.
The answer...yes! As well as men would get attracted to just about any kind of woman. Because fat is only 1 area of the many many areas of what attracts anyone to anyone in the first place.
Ask yourself, what kind of man am I dealing with here? A man who is educated with values does not think in terms of fatness, especially a man who is GOD fearing and sophisticated. A man who is average you know your run of the mill type -- bars, street man, gang man, the men who don't know Jesus and the men who don't fear him well then need I say more?
If this applies to you, my suggestion is to go to a near city for cultural events such as museums, operas, classical music, or "google search" for activities that will put you in the best circuits -- to live and find someone who is priviledged to have you! Good Luck!

Monday, January 28, 2008, 11:57 PM

i don't understand. i've always been skinny. but never had a boyfriend. i always thought guys liked more fit girls. but two of my friends, who are not necessarily 'fat' they are just more curvy i guess, ALWAYS have boyfriends. and i'm confident and all that jazz. but i don't understand why no guys are attracted to me....at all.

Saturday, May 17, 2008, 3:56 PM

From what I've read, there is a primal instinct at work. Men will typically (I guess) be attracted to a woman who will be able to have children. If you are too thin, you stop having your period and won't be able to get pregnant. I think this is something that men sense and may lean toward a woman with some "meat". If is woman has wide hips, she won't have problems in childbirth and if she has big boobs, she wouldn't have any trouble feeding the baby. I think the issue is that the media and society always want to talk about the extremes - FAT versus SKINNY - when the range of normal is probably much broader than we are led to believe. I think that as long as you are healthy and happy, people in general will be attracted to you, and not just sexually.

Saturday, May 17, 2008, 11:54 PM

yuck yuck yuck

fat women are disgusting!!!!! i am a 38-year-old woman who used to be thin. I had a baby a year ago, and i am now about 80 pounds overweight, and I am miserable. I believe that I look truly horrible, and I am constantly looking at other women and never, ever once have I looked at even a moderately overweight woman and thought that she was even remotely attractive. men no longer pay any attention to me, but I got a lot of attention before I turned into an orca. i am completely baffled by men who do claim to like fatties. there is no way on earth that they could possibly think that rolls of fat are nice to look at. yuck! i am convinced that when men do go for fat women, it's because they know that they are desperate and can be manipulated. fat women are grateful for any male attention they get, so they will do things that thin women won't. they will tolerate abuse that thin women won't, and the men don't have to worry about anyone moving in on their territory. again, yuck, yuck, yuck. in short, if you don't look like victoria beckham, you're a pig. i can't wait to get rid of this weight for good!

Wednesday, May 28, 2008, 4:01 PM

4:01,
If you are for real, I hope that life gets better for you! You are obviously in a less-than-happy state. Think about all the good things in your life and keep your chin up!

Wednesday, May 28, 2008, 4:22 PM

What is the definition of "fat" here?

Are we talking a size 14, 16, 18, or more along the lines of 22, 24 ...

I'm not skinny by any stretch, but was shocked to hear that a size 8 model now is considered to be a "plus size" model.

There is something screwy with that. I wear a size 7 / 8 and never though of myself as heavy (when I used to wear a size 14, then I was heavy).

So I guess that wearing a size 8, and being a 34 DD is the new "FAT".

Wednesday, May 28, 2008, 6:35 PM

not a man..but im just here to say..i hate when ppl compare skinny and fat! no matter what you look like, its the personality! every man is different, but you'll find someone who likes you for you. but, if your happy with losing weight then perfect! ~Workout25 said it best!

Wednesday, May 28, 2008, 7:37 PM

4:01 perhaps its your shitty attitude that is a turn off for men and even women friends. First I have to say if you really are 80 pounds overweight from a pregnancy then you must have really porked out on all the crap you could get into your mouth. Especially if you lost nothing with the birth of your baby. Your comment about fat women being desperate, easily abused and easily manipulated is truly ignorant on your part. There are millions of heavier women you are successful, confident and strong and have relationships with great men all the time. You must be some sort of white trash or something, maybe you just live in a little bubble? You had a baby a year ago and still haven't lost any weight, clearly you don't have the willpower to succeed, which shows in every aspect of what we can access about you. Perhaps you need to concentrate on your own fat self and how you come off to other people. It sounds to me that you don't care about yourself at all. You sound like a miserable person to be around, I feel sorry for your child and lord help your husband.

Wednesday, May 28, 2008, 11:08 PM

Some do, some don't; it's like any other physical trait. There's a whole spectrum of body shape and size, from skinny, slim, curvy but toned, curvy and not-so-toned, up to overweight and even obese, and different men have different preferences. It works both ways too; some women like muscular guys, some like skinny guys, some like chubbier guys. You can't generalize about what's attractive and what's not, because it's a matter of preference.

Thursday, May 29, 2008, 6:00 AM

Well, you can generalize about things that are a matter of preference... you just take the view that is most commonly preferred.... Sure, some men are attracted to fat women, some women are attracted to fat men, but if you strip away everything except physical appearance, most people are attracted to people who are in shape. A lot of people can look past that and love a person for who they are and so on even if that person is less desireable physically, but that does not mean that people actually would prefer to be with someone fat or whatever.

Bottom line: if you're fat, it won't keep you from getting a partner, but that does not mean that you wouldn't be more attractive to most people if the fat were gone.

Thursday, May 29, 2008, 8:55 AM

11:08, you couldn't be further from the truth in your assessment of me. i am actually a professional with an advanced degree, and I from a well pedigreed family. Not even remotely white trash, thank god. And my pregnancy weight gain was not the result of "porking out on all the crap I could get in my mouth" as you so articulately put it, but rather a medical condition that complicated my pregnancy. And lack of willpower is not the cause of my post-pregnancy inability to lose weight, but rather the residual effects of the health condition that I mentioned. To walk in my circle means that you have to be thin - women are required to look a certain way - fatness is not tolerated, and I wholeheartedly agree with them and believe that women should be thin. Fat is unattractive. It sounds to me, 11:08, like you are a big fattie, and that I have touched a nerve here, which shows that there is some validity in the idea that fat women are deeply insecure ;-)

Thursday, May 29, 2008, 11:46 AM

what was your medical condition?

Thursday, May 29, 2008, 2:11 PM

What on earth is a "well pedigreed family?" Heil Hitler?

Thursday, May 29, 2008, 2:13 PM

so far, none of the men have said "yes, i think fat women are attractive" or "no, fat women are nasty," and that was the whole purpose of this string. so fess up men. give us the real scoop.

Thursday, May 29, 2008, 2:47 PM

Even if the men "fess up," you will still only have a couple opinions from some guys, not all men, so even if they posted the truth that they do not find fat women hot and prefer someone who is in shape, then you would just disregard it. And some woman would pipe up about how she is overweight but her bf tells her she is hot (well of course he does) and that would be that.

This thread is completely pointless.

Thursday, May 29, 2008, 9:43 PM

If she's big but toned (fat but not flabby) and feels good about herself, yeah I'll ask her out. The last girl I dated said she weighted 280 lbs. I know how females are. They lie about their weight and their age. So maybe she weighed even more than that. But she didn't have saggy flab and the only thing that jiggled was her breasts. I can't abide a jiggly belly or butt :-(

So to answer your question......yes some men are attracted to some fat women.

Thursday, May 29, 2008, 11:56 PM

Oh yeah, and she had a GREAT sense of humor and was very fun to be around. We had a blast together, her and me, and when we were with other friends too. And before you ask, she broke up with me because she got accepted to a college 1800 miles away and didn't want a long distance relationship when she needs to be concentrating on her studies. Yeah, she's smart too.

Anyway, yeah. I like big girls if they like themselves.

Friday, May 30, 2008, 12:14 AM

Apparently, highly educated, professional, and pedigreed does not guarantee tact, class, or compassion. No matter how thin that poster gets - her disposition makes her most unattractive.

Friday, May 30, 2008, 12:20 AM

12:14 I'm your new gal!!!!

I love you man! Can you start training the rest of the male population!!!!

Sign me up for your fan club.

Friday, May 30, 2008, 12:29 PM

Why do I have the feeling that 12:14 is really a woman posting...

Friday, May 30, 2008, 3:52 PM

ok, forget personality, intelligence, sense of fun, and anything at all like that. let's bust it down to the most superficial....looks. guys, imagine two women...one is 5'6" (let's use an average height) and weighs 200 pounds. she has a big jiggly belly, cellulite on her massive butt and thighs, three chins, flabby arms, and tree trunk ankles. the second woman id 5'6" and weighs 110 pounds. every inch of her is toned, no flab, no jiggles, no cellulite. she, like the heavy woman, has a, er, large chest. now, forgetting EVERYTHING but looks alone, which of these two women would you rather look at and hop into bed with? Who is more attractive? the fat chick, or the thin one?

Friday, May 30, 2008, 5:12 PM

Obviously the thin one. Most guys are visual. We go for what looks good to us. And usually the fat doesn't look good. But --- if the fat one is a really nice person with a good sense of humor and friendly and everybody likes her, she could be my best friend. I've been known to slowly fall in love with a friend girl and have her turn into a girl friend. She was considered fat by everyone but she had a heart of gold and I loved her. But being a bad ass man, i still fantasized about what you call the thin woman. The perfect 36 who worked out next to me at the gym. The secretary at work. Toni eventually lost 75 pounds and turned into a real hottie. When she realized she was a hottie, she didn't need me anymore. There was too much out there to choose from. So I got dumped by the fat chick who wasn't fat anymore.

Friday, May 30, 2008, 8:55 PM

Fat Women

I am a guy and as a rule, guys are pretty down on fat women. Personally, I have dated one and don't find them attractive. I do think fat guys like fat chicks.

Friday, May 30, 2008, 10:01 PM

I'm a man and the answer is no. NO! A fat chick is disgusting. No easier way to turn my rod into a wet noodle than looking at a fat chick. No shit. Not even if she has big melons. So get rid of the blubber if you want a man to give you undivided attention.

Saturday, May 31, 2008, 10:37 AM

I second the pp comments. But maybe not so crude. I like my women shapely. They can be a little "overweight" but not FAT. Like well rounded is good but flabby and double chins and midriff rolls are a definite turn off. Forget about the wobbly thighs and dimpled butt cheeks. Ugh. I'm pretty liberal and I can be friends with anyone. But for dating and getting busy I prefer a woman who takes care of herself.

Saturday, May 31, 2008, 10:57 AM

I think the same goes for the way women look at men.

I read someones description of a flacid, naked fat man.

Like a big turkey with one of those little timers stuck in. Definately not a turn on.

I like a nice shaped man...

After losing 60+lbs and being an avid gym member for 2 years, I really appreciate a man who takes care of himself and looks attractive.

Hair loss doesn't bother me, so long as all the other parts still work!

Saturday, May 31, 2008, 6:52 PM

so then the woman who had the baby and made the comments about men not liking fat women appear to be true. people may not like the way she expressed her opinion (pretty straight up - no sugarcoating on that one!), but she seems to have been right. and that's not a criticism of the men who said that they don't like fat women. you're just being honest, and i think most women would prefer you to be that way. if you like women to be thin and fit, we want to know that. i, for one, am tired of men trying to sugarcoat by saying things like "well, if her personality is good..." I am ok with hearing that you hate fat chicks. it confirms what i already knew and gives me more motivation to run my ass off on the treadmill. thank you!

Sunday, June 1, 2008, 11:05 AM

i am a psychotherapist, and we know through decades of research and treatment experience that there is a certain type of man who is attracted to fat and/or big women. he is one who had a mother who was cold, failed to nurture him properly, and may have been verbally, emotionally, and/or physically abusive. these men, as adults whose emotional development was thwarted in the earliest stages, tend to, as adult men, seek out women who are large and "squooshy" (for lack of a better word). They have an unconscious need to feel enveloped by a surrogate mother. now, don't get excited about this if you are a large woman. This may sound sweet, and if you have a need to fix and nurture damaged men, please fight the urge. There is more to the story. We have also found through research and extensive interviews with these men that they seek out large women because they view them as insecure, weak, grateful for male sexual attention, and easily manipulated. A high percentage of these men tend to be abusive, and large women are often targeted because these damaged men see them as easily controlled and non-threatening. they tend to be con-men, and it is sometimes impossible to tell when they are being sincere. just be careful.

Sunday, June 1, 2008, 11:42 AM

mEN DON'T LIKE FAT WOMEN

Sunday, June 1, 2008, 8:17 PM

only DAMAGED men like fat women. and it's not even that they LIKE them. look at what that therapist wrote. explains some things, eh?

Monday, June 2, 2008, 10:23 AM

I find what the therapist wrote disturbing. Are you talking about two types of men, or one? Are men with monther issues also con artists? Sorry, its not clear.

I think its just natural to be attracted to healthy people

Monday, June 2, 2008, 11:13 AM

i am the therapist from above... I meant that these men are first damaged by their mothers. their emotional development is thwarted in childhood, and a high percentage develop certain personality defects (I will spare you the complex technical mental health diagnostic jargon) that then lead them to seek out large women for the complex reasons that I mentioned before. These are the guys who are abusers, as in domestic violence (emotional, verbal, physical, sexual, financial, and every other kind of abuse that is part of domestic violence). They are manipulative con artists who prey on large/fat women because they have a deep need to control women that stems from the damaged caused by their mothers. These men believe that large women are easy prey, and that is why they are attracted to them.

I hate to say that the woman with the baby is right, because I know that she offended some of you, but she isn't wrong about what she said about large women. As a clinician, I can tell you that the research and many, many, many years of practice with large women has confirmed that a high percentage DO have serious self esteem issues and tend to become victims to this type of men precisely because of the weight that they carry and the mental health issues that stem from being overweight in this society. Large women do tend to have lower self-esteem and lower self-confidence and are more likely to endure abuse from men because they want to be loved just like anyone else. I cannot tell you how many times I have counseled large women and heard things like "i can't get anyone else, so I have to just put up with it." These men know this about them, and they prey on them as a result.

Does that clear things up a bit?

Monday, June 2, 2008, 1:49 PM

Man here...

I am attracted to heavy women. There is so much more than a body. Fat can be a temporary fix. But the genuine sweetness that lives inside of you cannot come from a treadmill.

I agree, heavier women take more abuse and shame on men for taking advantage of that. There are a lot of things that are not right in this world.

Not only am I attracted to them, but fat can be very very sexy. It does not all have to be ugly.

Men love an independant woman with a head on her shoulders and self confidence that shines through her eyes. It is something that outshines a heavy outer shell.

So keep your head up, because you ARE all that and a basket of fruit!

And I am not saying all this because I am a fat man and have to settle for heavy women, because I am not and I would be happy to prove it if you ladies do not believe men do look beyond the outer shell. Not saying all, but they are out there.

Monday, June 2, 2008, 2:28 PM

2:28, I am curious (it's the therpist again here)... and I am going to quote you here:

"fat can be very very sexy. It does not all have to be ugly."

I think a lot of people would be interested in further thoughts from you on this, because so many people have posted things about fat, jiggly butts, multiple chins, etc being ugly and unattractive. you disagree. can you tell us what it is about these very things that is visually appealing to you?

Monday, June 2, 2008, 3:00 PM

Is it so hard to just accept the fact that different people are attracted to different things? Rubens made an art out of drawing fat women. He obviously liked them. Others don't. So what?

Monday, June 2, 2008, 3:07 PM

For one without getting too detailed, I am a bust man. No man that I know of is turned on by muscular pecs on a woman. It is not necessarily about firm.

Second, you've heard the song, "I like big butts and I cannot lie". It is the truth, men like a lot of real estate in that area. Heavy set tight skinned overweight women are gorgeous. I could name quite a few looking through the public profiles.

All I am saying is, don't get down on yourself for being overweight, you are in the right place. You are doing something about it rather than feeding the fire.

Just think about this, the next time you are at the store and a couple of guys are looking at you. Could it possibly be they think you are sexy rather than voicing the opinion you are overweight? Before you get down on yourself, it could be that they think you are hot just the way you are.

So, now that we did a little "deep dive" here, I will be remaining anonymous.

Monday, June 2, 2008, 3:57 PM

i think it is hard to accept that. maybe it's a result of cultural bombardment, conditioning, socialization, etc. but maybe not. we don't know if rubens thought fat women were beautiful, or if he was strangely attracted to something grotesque, like we all seem to be by bloody car accidents or a pile of maggots on a dead bird.

Monday, June 2, 2008, 4:10 PM

3:07 - amen! There is no one standard of what others find attractive. Look at Mick Jagger for gawd's sake. I don't care how much money that dude's got - I don't find him remotely attractive! But pudgy Seth Rogen? He cracks me up and for that I'm attracted!

Monday, June 2, 2008, 4:12 PM

we aren't talking about any beauty other than physical beauty here. we are talking about attraction based on PHYSICAL attributes, not personality, money, sense of humor, kindness, etc. That's not relevant here. We are talking about whether men are attracted to fat women based SOLELY on how they look. and it seems pretty clear that when you boil it down to JUST that, the men are not digging the rolley polleys.

Monday, June 2, 2008, 4:26 PM

Again - there is no one standard of what is attractive - physical or otherwise.

Monday, June 2, 2008, 7:07 PM

Well, the OP did ask what makes a fat gir' appealing? And since there are so many different things that make a person appealing - aside from the physical - it seems that is, in fact, relevant here...Sorry if this interferes with being able to label an entire group of people unattractive.

Monday, June 2, 2008, 7:11 PM

I agree with PP. Also, psychology can be constraining in terms of how it defines human behaviour. You can read all the psychological studies you want, they will never apply to everyone.

As far as these men being abusive - well, there are plenty of skinny women in similar situations.

Sorry I do not mean to high-jack this interesting thread, but I sometimes find the fields of psychology and psychiatry questionable....

Monday, June 2, 2008, 7:17 PM

first, who are OP and PP? i couldn't see anyone's names on the posts, so I couldn't figure out which messages the last posters were referring to..

i understand the reluctance of a lot of people to put faith in psychology and psychiatry. unless you really get into it and study it and practice it, it doesn't really make a lot of sense to most people. psychiatry is a medical specialty, so these medical doctors are looking at mental health issues from a biological perspective and treating them from that perspective as well. it's called the medical model, and that's why you don't see a lot of psychiatrists doing therapy anymore. they are the people you go to for medical, biological explanations for behavioral issues, and they will treat your mental diseases with medication, just as a cardiologist will give meds for a heart condition, or an oncologist will use meds to treat cancer.

psychologists, clinical social workers, and the like are dealing with the soft sciences. we recognize the biological aspects of behavior as completely valid and hugely influential, but we aren't medical doctors who work from the medical model. we deal with the illusive, hard-to-grasp explanations for human behavior, and unless you have gone to school and studied it in depth for many years, it's hard to get a handle on, and then clients still continue to surprise us! There are, admittedly, a lot of variables that influence behavior, but there are also generalizations that can be made using very strict research methods. we therapists do incorporate science into what we do, and our research methods are the same and every bit as strict as they are in the hard sciences. so we aren't saying that EVERYONE is the same - just that our research and practical experience has revealed some genralizations that can be applied to the population as a whole. and, in general, we have found that a certain type of man is attracted to large/fat women (see above).

Tuesday, June 3, 2008, 11:27 AM

so what about when you are a thin, fit woman, and a man tells you that you are the most beautiful thing in the world, and he is proud of you and acts proud to be seen with you. he also tells you that he has always wanted a girl like you because all the other women he's had were not as good, but then he turns around an has multiple affairs - not just one - but MULTIPLE affairs with really enormous women - like 250 pounds and above? i had this happen to me, and i was indescribably hurt and insulted. i could have dealt with it better if the women were beautiful, fit, successful. etc, but they were really, really large women, and none of them had finished high school, they all drank and did drugs, they would do trashy things like email me and threaten my life - really horrible jerry sringer things like that. i just don't understand. it's been alsmost two years since i ended it with him, and i still feel hurt over this every single day.

Tuesday, June 3, 2008, 2:00 PM

PP-Obviously he was lying about a few things. The stuff he told you, you can't believe--he may have kept you as his show pony because you look the way he thought other people thought his partner should look but he really dug fat chicks, or maybe he was fine with you but just wanted a little more variety in his sex life and could get it more easily from typically less desirable women--who knows. You'll never know, he treated you in a very scummy way, so just let it go.

Tuesday, June 3, 2008, 10:50 PM

I am 80 plus pounds overweight and when I am at this weight no heads ever turn so I would have to say men are not attracted to bigger women.

Wednesday, June 4, 2008, 12:13 AM

12:13 There is good new

Let me tell you I have been where you are girl.

After 3 c-section babies...you know the drill....

I felt and I was FAT AND UGLY!!!!!

Well only God could control the ugly part, and the fat was up to me.

You can lose the weight you desire. It is not a diet that gets you there but a life change. You are here on PT, that means you have made choices already in the right direction.

There is nothing that compares to being a fat chick, and then having someone oogle at you because you are not a fat chick anymore. For me it has been 2 years of work, and constant work to maintain and go down a little bit more every so often.

Wednesday, June 4, 2008, 8:35 AM

12:13, how did you do it? it's so hard to get rid of pregnancy weight. i have restricted my diet, exercized, everything, but i actually GAINED weight after my baby was born. well, i initially lost about 20 pounds and then gained 30 back over time, despite the low calorie/low carb diet and regular exercize! ugh! i think that the body just goes nuts with pregnancy and childbirth...completely betrays you.

Wednesday, June 4, 2008, 10:23 AM

10:23
I have lost 60 lbs over 2 years. But don't think for an instant that it hasn't looked more the stock exchange, down 8, up 2, down 4 up 2!!!!

I accidentally tried Atkins, and found out that I felt unbelievably great.

I have discovered that I am alergic to wheat, gluten, and many other thickening agents put into food. I eat to feel better, so as I was feeling sickly, I would just eat more to compensate.

Don't ever give up with your wieght loss efforts. If you take off 20, and start to put on 10, go back to what you know works.

Don't give up. If you eat that cookie today, make yourself not eat it tomorrow...it is one meal success at a time, then one day of eating success at a time. Build a new you with healthier habits. You can do it.

This thread is evidence that being a "fat chick" affects our sex appeal. You can be a new sexy you, if you don't give up, never.

Wednesday, June 4, 2008, 11:03 AM

Hi 11:27 the psychologist.

I'm 7:17

I know what the feilds of psychology and psychiatry are, I just questions how much they help humans deal with issues.

You don't need a masters is psych to question the impact of therapy and psychology.

Wednesday, June 4, 2008, 11:39 AM

i always did feel like a toy to him, now that i have read your comments and thought about it. i was like a doll that he would put up on a shelf and then take down to play with every now and then. i remember now him telling me that his friends would make fun of him for being with me and would tease him about having a "posh girl." he is from northern ireland, and they are extremely class conscious there and constantly worry about people thinking that they are "putting on airs." i can think back now and remember hearing him talk with his friends about it in front of me, and i laughed it off at the time, because we don't worry about our class standing or whatever here in the states. i thought "what an amusing thing that they worry about..." i remember them being amazed that i have a masters degree and a job that pays above minimum wage. i was teased for not wearing too tight jeans and tube tops and for reading during my free time. i remember him getting angry and saying that he didn't want my friends around because we would have "wine parties" and once retreating from the room when i had a conversation with a german friend of his about the dissolution of the GDR. he later angrily told me that i should be with his friend instead of him because we "know what to talk about."

his cheating on me with the fat uneducated women has always made me feel inferior. what do these women have that i don't? why would he want someone like that when he could have someone who is fit and thin, educated, successful, and "beetr than the other women," to use his exact words? i was told my whole life that men don't like fat women, and they don;t like low class women either. so i worked to be what i was expected to be, and look where it got me? no matter how hard i try, no matter what way i try to make sense of his affairs with the fat women, i just can;t understand it.

Wednesday, June 4, 2008, 11:50 AM

hi 7:17

just wanted to comment on something you said before:

"You can read all the psychological studies you want, they will never apply to everyone."

I def didn't mean to imply in my last post that you didn't know the differences between psychology and psychiatry. i honestly meant no offense. my point with that post was to help explain on how our research findings and practice experiences with a sample of the population can be generalized to the whole population. in other words, how we in the field can say things that sound like broad assumptions about people, like "men don't like large/fat women" and "damaged men typically do target large women."

thin women are also victims of abuse, but I purposely did not touch on that because we are talking about why men target large women and the type of man who does this.

Wednesday, June 4, 2008, 12:20 PM

11:50 The DUDE WAS A DUD!!!!!

Hey I have higher level college degrees as well, and try to take care of myself.

What he did can only be summed up like this:
Some people are bad, just plain bad. They can disguise themselves and talk real smooth when they need to. Sooner or later their true colors come out.

He was just BAD and it had nothing to do with you. You were not the problem, he was. You didn't contribute to the situation except for the fact that you were fooled by who he pretended to be.

God does make good ones. Hopefully when you find him it will fill up what has been torn apart

Wednesday, June 4, 2008, 3:26 PM

I'm from South Texas and it seems that down here black, white, and asian men go for us full sized girls. I seldom have any luck with latino men. Men of my own race that is. Terrible finding.

Thursday, June 5, 2008, 4:30 AM

that's interesting 4:30. I thought latino men liked bigger women? and that black men did too, but that white and asian men like thin women. another twist to the debate!

Thursday, June 5, 2008, 10:52 AM

Mwn really just want sex

Truly, they would rather just get it as often and as hot as possible.

Then they would like to sit with the remote, eat a bowl of corn flakes, and go back and have more sex later.

If a man says he just WANTS to sit and hug you, it is because he thinks he will get sex later.

Then they turn middle age and replace the sex part with fishing because unless they have medication the sex will kill them.

Thursday, June 5, 2008, 12:57 PM

i would like to be a man for a day to see why the relentless search for sex is so much more important to them than it is for women.

Thursday, June 5, 2008, 1:20 PM

Can't speak for all men, but my husband would never be attracted to a fat woman, he finds it to be an aversion. My son's girlfriend was about 30 pounds overweight - he never minded. there's two mens opinions.

Thursday, June 5, 2008, 8:13 PM

First of all this thread should go in the record books as the longest running thread...

My best girlfriend told me that she would see men, very attractive men, turn their heads at me. She called me the sexiest plus sized woman she knew. And she is very sexy. So. One of my other friends, who is very beautiful and trim, told me years ago that her husband thought I was one of the most beautiful women he had ever met. Physically. Gee. That was really nice to hear. The confidence is what its all about. I have learned to be happy with who I am and I work hard to project my own image as to who that is. And it meets with a lot of enthusiasm. And I still am heavy. I admit I do not look good in a bathing suit! But, confidence, well fitting, tasteful clothes, good makeup and hair, and a great attitude, really really projects beauty more than just your figure. You need to project your image, not just your figure.

11:50 above: It sounds like you have beaten yourself up enough about this guy. The problem was not with you, it was with him, from what you have written in these posts. Only he can speak for yourself, but he sounds angry, jealous, and hurt. Maybe he wanted the trophy girlfriend, but refused to treat you like a real person, maybe that the fat one he went to he saw as a "real woman". Regardless, you made one statement that sums up what I think is going on with you:

"i was told my whole life that men don't like fat women, and they don't like low class women either. so i worked to be what i was expected to be, and look where it got me? "

Stop trying to be who someone else thinks you should be. Its hard to not be blowing around with whatever opinion someone has about us. We learn to be people pleasers at young ages. We learned, somewhere, that other people's opinions mattered more than our own opinions. Now, we have to learn that they have a right to their opinions, but those are their opinions, not necessarily ours. We do not have to adopt someone else's (no matter how important they are to us) opinions as the TRUTH. They are still just opinions. They should not call the shots on who we should be.

Are you an adult? If you are adult age, then its up to you to make yourself into who you are today, and who you will be. If you are doing things, or wearing clothes and your hair, because someone else said you should and you are not happy doing that or being that, but you do it anyway because they think so, you need to reframe. If you are always stressing about what others think about you, you will never be whole.

You have to understand who you are, what drives you, what makes you happy, truly happy on the inside. If its jumping on your mattress, ok. If its taking long walks in natural areas, ok. If its sticking your nose in a book, ok. Any way you are is right for you (well, within reason. We still need to be bound by our spiritual, moral and ethical convictions). You might need to see someone to talk to about this stuff. But as long as someone else is in the driver's seat in your life, telling you what you are and how you need to be, even if that someone is Society, or Mom, or whomever, you need to hop off and get behind your own wheel.

I have been down this path. Your comment is right where I was about 5 years ago. Its been hard, but not impossible. I have had to let people important to me go, because they would not let me drive my own wheels. I love them, but they are no longer in charge.

Sit down with yourself and really think why you have wasted this time and energy being unhappy with him. You are angry. Forgive him, move forward. Plan our your life's goals, and how to get there. When you start being in charge of yourself, you will find more people are attracted to you, because you are more attractive, slim or not.

If you aren't in this place that I outlined above, my apologies.

Thursday, June 5, 2008, 9:30 PM

there is something wrong with me. it's like when you go to buy a pair of shoes, and you can only get one, but you have two to choose from. your choice of which to buy would be influenced by things like cost, style, comfort, attractiveness, etc. you make your choice based on which pair is seen as "better." you leave the pair behind that you deem to be inferior. i was obviously deemed inferior for some reason.

Friday, June 6, 2008, 11:20 AM

11:20
No you didn't girl.

Some men are bad! You were probably awesome in bed, and being with you made him a better person...so he played the double life.

He lied to you and led a double life...Being with you made him better! If you would have tollerated him sleeping around...(now who is going to do that) there wouldn't have been any problems at all!

This is an issue about a man who couldn't keep it in his pants, so he preyed on fat women to get extra nuggie. It's not about you honey.

I think he will be a cheater all his life and live a double life as long as he can. Find someone who makes him look good....... then sneak around in the dirt to get his horney fix.

He didn't chose the better option (the other women)....he got caught in his dirty little pervert life and you wouldn't tolerate it.....and rightly so.

You will heal when you find a genuine man. They are out there!

Friday, June 6, 2008, 2:13 PM

i love this board. people are so supportive here. thank you to the people who have offered their thoughts about the wanker who hurt me so badly. it's been really, really hard not to take it perosnally, and it's hard to find people who don't judge.

Friday, June 6, 2008, 3:47 PM

and i WAS awesome in bed, 11:20 ;-p

hee hee

Friday, June 6, 2008, 3:48 PM

to June 4 11:50 --- you aren't better than fat, uneducated women. The Irish dude's issues aside- you attracted this situation so that you could learn that.

Friday, June 6, 2008, 5:13 PM

DON'T YOU MEAN "ARE MEN ATTRACTED TO FAT WOMEN"

How has no one mentioned such a huge grammar boo-boo?

Friday, June 6, 2008, 7:57 PM

I wasn't going to bother writing but...

I'm seriously stunned and outright offended at most of the the comments made in this thread. As a social scientist who did extensive research and a dissertation on attitudes towards the female body I am very well aware of the insecurities that most women carry around about their bodies no matter what size they and the reasons why we are "brainwashed" into thinking there is always something wrong with the way we look, but come on people!! Is it really that bad? Good god, I'm seriously saddened by what I have read here today!!

Firstly, to the psychologist who is supposedly the professional voice of reason: you really ought to be more responsible in how you convey your information. We both well know that your clients are a fragmented and very specific group of people who DO NOT represent big bodied woman as a whole. Your clients represent those who have become so disturbed with their issues that they have sought your help. This DOES NOT mean that all women who are "overweight" feel this way about themselves, nor does it mean that your clients' experiences represent those of all overweight women. So please, as a professional, do not feed into bias and generalized thinking. It only makes things worse.

Now I know what I'm going to say here is going to be surprising but... different people like different things. SHOCKER, I know! Someone in a previous post said this and asked why it is we just can't accept this. One of the only voices of reason in this thread. I know that sometimes we all think that we have everything figured out but since when have we become robots who have been programmed to only like one type of thing?

Yes there are a lot of men who prefer chubby or even fat women, and yes, it may be hard for a lot of people to internalize and accept this fact but that doesn't make the fact untrue. And for those who devalue mens' preferences for big women by likening them to necropheliacs and the sort really need to look into their own psychological issues about their own bodies and social attitudes. The sooner everyone sorts out their own issues, the sooner we can come to understand that everyone's preferences need to be respected.

Finally, I would like to agree with the poster who said that this thread is totally pointless. No disrespect intended to the OP because your question was very valid but I think you posed it in the wrong type of forum. Firstly, most people who are active on these boards are women, so even if you get a few men's opinions they just won't be reflective of men's attitudes in general. Secondly, as was made clear by the replies you got on this thread, a lot of the people who are on this site are unhappy with their bodies and insecure. How can a woman who has an intense fear of fat actually use logic in answering your question? It's impossible. So all you're getting is biased points of view and I'm sure that's not what you were looking for.

I implore the moderators of this site to delete this thread mainly because I think it feeds into insecurity about our bodies which is in total opposition to the spirit of this site, is it not? We're here to better our bodies, not to create complexes about them!

Ladies, try to accept who you are and who OTHERS are even if it doesn't work a lot of the time and above all try to accept that love, desire and attractiveness is not one-dimensional. It may be one of the most important things you do for your own psychological well-being.

Saturday, June 7, 2008, 9:10 AM

9:10-

What a great post!

Saturday, June 7, 2008, 12:14 PM

Good blog from the lady who was not going to respond. My goodness, that blog hits it right on the head. I think different people like different things. These few men cannot speak for ALL men. I know that some men are just ignorant to the "fat woman" idea. You view us as "disgusting". Well, I view ANY MAN who doesn't brush his teeth or calls any human being "disgusting" as disgusting. I have spent a long time worried about what people like this think of me. It is hard enough to try to lose this freakin' weight damn it! I am not about to waste my time wondering whether these ignorant bastards accept me or not. If you dont dont. I would've given u a good time though. Your loss.

Sunday, June 8, 2008, 1:31 PM

I know a few men who are attracted to thicker women...

Monday, June 9, 2008, 4:11 PM

Different things do attract different people. But if a man marries a skinny girl and she gets large, or just stretched out from having babies, not all men stay attracted physically, that is a fact.

I lost a lot of weight for me, but found out I have also re-kindle my husband's spark for me in bed.

If the world were perfect, more men wouldn't care....

The amish certainly don't seem to care, neither do the muslums all wrapped up...

It is interesting that with how wise and advanced we see ourselves, we have put our self image in the crapper in exchange for so called sexual freedom and expression.

Monday, June 9, 2008, 11:06 PM

No

Tuesday, June 10, 2008, 2:38 PM

I weigh about 200 lbs, my man said he liked bigger women and I thought, yea, sure. Come to find out he actually had bookmarked porn sights with big chicks. He had average sized chicks also. So I think some guys do. Thank God!

Tuesday, June 10, 2008, 7:13 PM

Lame.

I love the drugstore psychology on why my boyfriend is physically attracted to me. I never knew he had mommy issues!! Thanks for the clarification.

I wonder if the hate language is coming from fear or loss of control. If one feels that their conventionally "attractive" appearance is their most valuable (or only) asset, then to hear others dismiss it in favor of something else is threatening to the core. If a young man pursues slim women to achieve status among his male peers, then he will feel insulted by someone does not appreciate his effort. A lot of time, young people (below 30) don't know how to react to threats against their values and resort to derogatory language. That's what seems to be happening here.

That said, I think poor writing, punctuation, and grammar are much less attractive than a few rolls of fat. Some of you haters should've been held back.

Thursday, June 19, 2008, 2:47 PM

I think a lot of time the type of men you find and their preferences also have to do with what zip code they live in. Men in areas where people are very thin-centric will prefer thin women most of the time, I assume (though I suppose there are some men who LOVE the rare pudgy woman in those areas- always an exception to the rule). Other places where women are more average there are probably more men who prefer heavy women.

I'm originally from Alaska where you can get a good man even if you have some extra weight (keeps you warm in the winter) and wear flannel. But I've recently spent a bunch of time in Silicon Valley in California and around here I think there are a LOT of fat phobic people. I worked at a really awful place in San Francisco where a coworker of mine who was fat and had large breasts that jiggled would get laughed at by her coworkers. The manager was actually heard on the phone talking with her friend about how disgusting fat people are.

Myself, I love me some fleshy, curvy girls who know that they can be beautiful even if they aren't a size two. Though I confess, for myself there is a limit to what I like. I guess you could say that fat is way hot to me, but obese isn't so much. Though I could, and have, fallen for someone who is.

Friday, June 20, 2008, 4:44 AM

Some men do. Some men are attracted to skinny women. Some are attracted to big busts, some to little busts. SOme like athletic women. SOme like short woen and some like tall women. All different men like all different women.

The big question is:

Are you a fat woman and do you like yourself?

Friday, June 20, 2008, 10:25 PM

4:44 am are you a woman? it's ok if you are. I know lots of gay women who like fat women.

Friday, June 20, 2008, 10:28 PM

I am a woman and I am definitely fat, not just chubby or overweight. I'm 5'7" and I weigh 290 lbs. there's a guy in my apt bldg who keeps smiling and winking at me all the time and calls me honey whenever we happen to meet at the mail box. Once he asked me "hey honey, do you fool around?" If that's not a man attracted to a fat woman, I don't know what is. In case you want to know, I told him of course, I fool around with knitting needles, crochet hooks, jigsaw puzzles, etc. He just laughed. But he still smiles and winks at me every time he sees me.

Friday, June 20, 2008, 10:55 PM

okay so i understand that this is directed to men, but i just have to say something. Most men seem to be more attracted to skinnier women, yes, but i think it is unfair for most of you to be assuming what men think and want. You cannot put words into their mouths and say "well men prefer this because..." All men are wired differently. Its the same thing as men being attracted to other men, there is no explaination for it and really, one isnt needed. It is just a fact that people need to accept. Some men are attracted to bigger women and some are attracted to the slimmer more fit women. There is no scientific fact saying that it is natural for men to be attracted to skinnier women, that is just stupid. Peoples preference in this world have changed significantly, if you think about all the different eras. At one point men were attracted to skinny women with boobs popping out of their dress (renaissance i believe? hah) and in another time to the larger women. (like the era of the painting of larger women)

But i do have to agree that the more confidence the women have, the more attractive they are to most men, not all. I am 17 and underweight or normal size(depends on the day and what sport i do). I have been my whole life due to a thyroid condition so i have never been overweight or anything but i really just wanted to make that statement. and sorry if i offended anyone, that was not my intention.

Wednesday, June 25, 2008, 1:48 AM

In two words - Hell No.

Wednesday, June 25, 2008, 10:30 AM

yea, i know a woman with lots of self-confidence who thinks that it's perfectly fine to weigh as much as a dump truck. nonetheless, she still looks revolting. i'm sorry, but fat is just plain ugly!

Wednesday, June 25, 2008, 3:48 PM

re: do men get attracted to fat women...

It is about confidence, I used to be a lot thinner and got some attention but not as much now, and I am 90 pounds overweight....I get hit on by much younger guys
and currently the man I'm seeing is an IronMan competitor, very hot indeed.

Wednesday, June 25, 2008, 4:11 PM

2:47, those posts weren't about why your boyfriend is physically attracted to you. they are an attempt to explain why SOME men have a psychological propensity to seek out fat women.

Wednesday, June 25, 2008, 4:34 PM

4:01 As someone who has been on both sides, you are so far wrong. Even when i was heavier i would never tolerate abuse of any sort. Often it's the thinner women who give off that desperation and become the abused. If i learned anything from being heavy it was survival and independence. Men know I'm strong and from 125-210 lbs I've always had their attention, by giving them mutual respect. if it's a problem for you it must be your attitude, or maybe you're just an ugly person on the outside as well. Women like you are selfish to believe that you are better because of your appearance. Poor you, you lost the thinness but not the thin girl attitude. Weight shouldn't matter because if you treat a man like a human and not a sexed crazed animal, you will learn to accept his attractions as he accepts he will never fully fit yours. If you have to chase them and alter yourself it's not worth your time.
To everyone here, get healthy by your own choice. If you want to be thin for the nasty men who judge you on that, why waste your time on that immaturity? Take a good look in the mirror and decide what you want to be for you. Extra attention is nothing you really want believe me. If you're looking for "mr. right" you aren't going to find him by getting the attention of an idealist horn dog. Also as women a majority of us date less than large men. Having individual taste is no crime. Forget the media. Everyone's different. How often do you date someone that fits your every preference?? The best thing to do is find a guy you can hit it off with in your current state. Even guys who like heavy girls won't like you any less if you choose to loose the weight. They do exist, in fact i have a man that has always been drawn to more rounded women, but as i lost weight it made no difference to him. If a guy loves you, chances are your size will change throughout the years anyways. If he sticks with you it's love. Simple as that. We will all be wrinkly and saggy some day anyways. Just enjoy it while it lasts

Sunday, June 29, 2008, 5:27 AM

Determined to be sexy...wrinkly and SEXY!

PP-has got it right. We are all going so wrinkle and sag. Unless you have endless financial resources, you can't avoid this.

Finding your healthy weight, the right man (one who loves you, ,fat or thin) is where we have to think.

In general I will say that men are easily attracted to a thinner woman. But I am 44 yrs old! I am just going to keep working my ass off to be attractive to one man only. The one I married 20 years ago! We can only do the best we can to take care of ourselves. Takin care of ourselves takes dedication and discipline.

My husband agrees that fat woman are not attractive to him.....but the point is....he only has to be attracted to me. I am the only thing I have to take care of, and I plan on doing it until I am much older.

I plan on being wrinkly, saggy, but damn very sexy and healthy.

Sunday, June 29, 2008, 1:03 PM

There are a lot of wonderful, helpful comments here, and I disagree that it is a useless thread just from the number of responses. This thread serves as a release as well as help for those who need the reasurance. That is what PT is about.
The most important thing to remember is that we are all individuals and have individual tastes. It is important for each of us to see the value in ourselves and to keep ourselves well cared for. Well cared for can mean your mental attitude, how you dress, how you act, as well as your hair and makeup. Tell yourselves that you are as good as the next and are well worth it.
My sister is a beautiful woman and her husband cheated on her because she became a mother. It was psychological for him. Before they had children he could pretend she was a prostitute. Once they had children, she was a mother and he couldnt pretend any more. So he went to dance halls and found what he wanted. The point being, a lot of what men and women look for can be psychological and very individual. It can be very stupid in other peoples opinions, but it is still very real to them.
The answer to the initial question is to take a look around you and check out couples. How often do you see a beautiful woman with a shorter, or heavier or ugly man? Reverse the question to how often do you see a nice looking man with a heavy or uglier woman. Or who cares if they are good looking or not. Fact is, taste in beauty and what we look for in a partner is so individual that it does make this question silly. But because we lack confidence in ourselves or are not aware of looks cast our way it becomes necessary. Honestly, I have had other people tell me when a guy looked at me because I have never noticed.
Quit beating yourselves up and just work on yourself. Be the best you can be and know that you are. By wondering/worrying about what others think about you, it is like this phrase: "Letting someone control your life is like letting the waiter eat your dinner". Dont let others make you miserable. Enjoy your life.

Sunday, June 29, 2008, 7:29 PM

Stop seeking Validation!

Get off of the computer and quit seeking validation and support from other fat women telling you that fat is great and that men "secretly prefer women that are overweight, that eat all damn day and sit on the computer instead of getting off of their fat asses and excercise and atleast try to be healthy!!!" Men prefer healthy women, not just slim and sexy, but healthy! Healthy means actually getting off their fat asses, not eating non-stop, and doing something to achieve their goals and maintain a healthy weight!! Yes, slim women are hotter, ,and YES, ,they do actually have personalities!! Quit seeking validation for your being lazy, unmotivated, fat, and looking for the easy way out! Yes, of course other fat women are going to agree, feed you false hope by saying that men "secretly" want a fat woman, that they just don't date them because of their friends opinion!!! That is the biggest bulls**t that I have ever heard! If ya'll need each other on here for free therapy, than join a BBW forum, share recipe ideas, or what-ever, but all you are doing is making yourselves look desperate for acceptance and validation!!

Thursday, July 24, 2008, 4:25 PM

Everyone needs to chillax

I have been reading all these comments and all I have to say is for you haters, calm down. For someone to say that there is no way for a man to be attracted to a larger woman is ridiculous. The funny part is when they add that only men with low self esteem go for bigger woman... I know all types of people and there is no one type of people that they like. I think it comes down to chemistry, you either feel it or you don't. Confidence does help but really it is the chemistry. I know that for me, I will see a beautiful athletic man next to a show chunky guy and I will be drawn to the short chunky. I have no types, a lot of woman have no type either, they are drawn to everything. Now what makes you think that a man is ONLY drawn to a skinny girl?

Thursday, April 9, 2009, 4:00 AM

Bitter Bitter Bitter

I truly feel bad for the person who wrote "Stop seeking validation"... How are you going to write such a negative comment toward people who are doing nothing but venting a little. You know nothing on these people, you are just assuming that they are lazy because??? They are on the computer? Because they are writing comments? For all you know, they could of worked out at the gym for three hours and were trying to relax so they came onto this website. People need to stop hating on others and worry about their own lives... I just think it is sad that someone can be so bitter about life that they take time out of their miserable lives to leave comments like those. And don't come with this bull sh** that you are not miserable... If you really loved life then you wouldn't hating on others, you would be more compassionate and understand why they need a place where they feel comfortable and can express their true feelings. Quit judging people, especially through the computer, you don't know them and what they do on a day to day basis.

Thursday, April 9, 2009, 4:16 AM

Do men get attracted to fat women?

In Montana YES!. There is a different standard of beauty here and the men like short athletic women with big hips and thighs.
I am a small-boned woman of average weight with slim hips and athletic legs. In my previous home (Colorado) I was considered attractive. From the time I first moved here, men would hassle my boyfriend with "you better put some weight on that girl!" Most men had girlfriends who weighed 150 lbs.+ with large hips and legs. The women are in shape, just large.
I have lived here 15 years and men do not look at me. But my large boned friends (150 lbs. +) have a lot of male attention.

My daughter is tall and willowy with a slim, small hipped figure and is considered too thin. It is in her genes to be thin, she can't help it. She has a beautiful face. I read about woman complaining that men only like thin women. It is different in Montana.
I feel frustrated when people show reverse discrimination for my daughter. She has been accused of having an eating disorder! She is not that thin, (5'8 135 lbs,) but here in Montana, next to larger girls (and large hipped girls are the majority), apparently she looks it.

Friday, September 4, 2009, 1:39 PM

Monday June 4th Therapists ARE YOU KIDDING ME! You act like you have all the answers, just because you have a PHD behind your name. If you were a truly good Therapist you would realize, one size does not fit all. In the 1920's Mae West was what a beautiful sexy woman was considered. Most men are not attracted to pencil thin woman( some are) There is somebody for everybody. Many times a thin guy is attracted to a chubbie woman. We are all unique individuals with different tastes. Let's live and let live and all try and be healthy and the best we can be!

Friday, September 4, 2009, 2:05 PM

I find voluptuous fat women appealing. If awomen is fat in all the feminie places and extremley pretty,sexy and confident i find her attractive

Saturday, October 17, 2009, 3:39 PM

I agrre with you 100% However,you may want to consider dating outside of your race. The percentage of handsome,successful professional white males who are sexually attracted to fat women are very slim and even when they do it's a typically pear-shaped voluptuous fat woman with a very,very pretty face confidence and a dynamic personality. If you don't want to date outside of your race and you want a very high quality white male i suggest you lose weight and alot of it because you will be very miserable otherwise.

Saturday, October 17, 2009, 3:42 PM

No disrespect but i don't believe your a therapist. If you are by any slim chance atherapist you have absoloutley no empathy and are in the wrong field. Voluptuousness is beautiful being sloppy fat is adifferent issue.

Saturday, October 17, 2009, 4:00 PM

Where are the men?

Did any men respond? Please write MAN in the subject line

Sunday, October 18, 2009, 12:05 PM

MAN

I have ALWAYS dated the sexy slim women.

I am a 6' 5'' slim man. I am 25 years old. I have to say that I have been with plenty of sexy poster model looking ladies.

I met this woman. 22 years old. She is about 5' 8'' and 160 pounds. Wow when I first saw her I was just taken away. She's not skinny. She is also not obese. She's the first real women I have met. She is also one of those exceptionally beautiful women of more weight. She is another Marilyn Monroe. She was a size 12.

So of all the men on here that have posted that no man will be attracted to any women with some extra weight. They are probably in there 19-24 stage where it's all about getting a hot chick into bed, and all about how many they can get. They don't have enough respect to meet a real women they can cherish and love. Whether that women is 100 pounds or 300 pounds.

Tuesday, December 15, 2009, 5:04 PM

WOW, 4:03, it's great to know you have personal knowledge of the thoughts of every man in the world. Please, enlighten us with more of your overreaching generalizations.

Tuesday, December 15, 2009, 10:07 PM

I'm a 26 year old male with a successful career in the British Armed Forces, I am very confident and in very good physical shape. Personally, I have rarely been able to climax with a woman who is what I would consider thin. The thinnest woman I would generally find sexually attractive is around a size 16. For me, a size 16 woman is beautiful and I couldn't imagine being with a woman thinner than that. Of course, a lot of thinner women probably do have lovely personalities too. But for me there isn't that wow factor that makes a man think 'I want you to have my babies'.

Tuesday, December 22, 2009, 10:35 AM

Thank God

I agrree.

Monday, December 28, 2009, 1:34 PM

I haven't even read the whole thread but my thought was "of course they do or everyone overweight would be single and we know that's not the case.

Monday, December 28, 2009, 1:37 PM

Psychotherapist, my fat jiggly ass! HaHaHa, please let us know where we can find your statistically significant studies to back up your theory.

Monday, January 4, 2010, 6:54 PM

very amusing

After reading all previous comments I am finding myself very amused. I have been both very thin and now very large. At no time did I have any self esteem issues and have lots of confidence in myself. I am highly educated, self employed and honestly don't care if people (both men and women) like me or not. This attitude has been a bonus because five years ago I acquired a disablity - massive injury to my left leg. Now because of this I am not able to move as you abled bodied people are. My question is to you all... what if you become as I did... disabled too? How would you cope with your body image then? To the psychologist... I don't have issues... in fact I have more males interested in me now than I did whilst I was fighting fit, thin and working all the time!!! The difference I have found is that no matter what your body becomes.. some people will judge your looks and others will be good enough to stop and find out who you are.... and some of these lovely men...just might fall for you regardless of how your body does or does not fit into the social norm of the time.

Thursday, January 7, 2010, 8:52 AM

Inaccurate

Not true, SOME "Spanish" men are attracted to bigger women but the majority of men prefer a fit, curvy confident lady.

Tuesday, January 12, 2010, 6:06 PM

Beauty

Beauty is in the eye of the beholder just as not any 2 persons like exactly the same things so it is with tastes when it comes to what men like. I am a bigger woman and I think I am pretty and I get noticed all the time, I am confident and I dont care who says what, should I lose weight, of course I should its better for my health, does it affect my social life...not in the least. I am curvy and proud so instead of thinking ...oh man i am fat no one will like me, I go out and live my life. My philosophy is...if u dont like the way I look then dont look at me as easy as that!

Monday, May 10, 2010, 7:44 PM

Beauty

Re: being attracted to a fat woman.

While beauty is only skin deep and looks aren't the most important thing, they certainly do account for a big part of the attraction equation.

I'm 6'-6" and weigh 235 lbs. Not perfect but I am fit, in shape, work out, ride my bike and take care of myself. It's only fair that I can expect a girl I am with to do the same. I won't let myself go and fitness is important to me.

Men are visually stimulated. That's just how it is. Men are attracted to women of all body types, but in general we like a woman to be in shape, not perfect, but in shape.

I'm not looking for perfection, but rather Height/Weight Proportionate. No skin and bones model types for me. Curves are really sexy. I think it was Desmond Morris who studied this and found out there is a Hip-to-Waist ratio we men subconsciously look for. 70% Waist to Hips is the magic number. This signals to us ideal baby bearing capacity or something to that effect.

Drink lots of water and especially one glass before going to sleep. Cut back on sugar and salt. Don't drink pop. Get moving. Park as far away from the entrance as you can. Take the stairs. Substitute TV time for exercise time. It's a start.

Friday, May 14, 2010, 3:15 PM

Men are attracted to fat women

please check out the trailer for our new documentary about size acceptance:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p4fRuRoXhXs&playnext_from=TL&videos=dJhzZ5PpOsw
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Link

Saturday, May 15, 2010, 12:50 PM

Big Women

I'm a normal white guy who happens to like fat women, especially big, wide, fat butts. I'm not ashamed to say that I also find cellulite on a girls butt to be very sexy. But confidence is VERY important. I wouldn't want to be around a person who is constantly watching their weight.

Also, there are more of us than you might think. Sadly, our society demonizes fat. I guess I was born 400 years too late!

Wednesday, May 26, 2010, 4:37 PM

Do men get attracted to fat women?

Young men and women will of course be attracted physically first, but it always comes down to the personality of that person and one with a loving and giving soul. So, for the ROBUST gals out there ... hang on! Be patient! These guys get the message sooner or later.
It's odd, but some of my girlfriends are very beautiful women (all ages) and their husbands are the average Joe's out there, but wonderful men. Some of our male friends are knock-out good looking, but their wives aren't and they love those women with a passion. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder!

Link

Thursday, May 27, 2010, 1:02 AM

You are asking a very generalized question. Men are all different. Some like thin women, some like heavy women. Some like short women, some like tall women. Some like blonds, some like brunettes, some like redheads. Some like gray or white hair. Some like dark skin, some like light skin, and some like freckled skin. Some like other men.

But I can tell you, from my own perspective, that there are men who are attracted to heavy women. I have been flirted with and asked out by all kinds of men, in all kinds of places. Like at the library, grocery store, gas station, even at PTA meetings.

Thursday, May 27, 2010, 12:02 PM

two daughters so different - sorry but slim girls get the guys

I have two daughters, 17 and 19. Both girls have a many friends. The younger one is 14 and and half stone very big boobed but fat. She is loved by all the guys but never has dated. she has chocolate brown eyes aquires a beautiful tan being half Spanish but never gets a guy. I know she is not the confident girl she portrays and would not date a guy if he asked. Due to her weight. She will not go swimming and she hates the seaside.

My other daughter the 19 year old. 5ft 9 long blond hair pale green large eyes.
Thin average boobs average size booty.
Quiet - ex model. Has had guys and girls after her all the time almost has to fight them off with a stick.

She has always had relationships 'bi' and a string of guys in the queue waiting.
It is not fair but their lives are not comparable.

Why --- the weight issue --- the elder one has had it easier. She was given a place at a top girls school no fee. She walks into any job.
You can't be confident when the real you got lost in a mass of fat as you grew.
Such a shame for her. In her mixed sex gang she is the girl - they all like but never the one with the date or boyfriend. --
She is more the advisor for everyone else.

Monday, July 5, 2010, 4:34 AM

RE: 3:39 pm

you're so right, i'm a size 14 too & I have a very vuloptious body it's not just chubby, I actually look good, but anyways I agree with everything you said. Some guys do think that slim women look too fragile & NOT womanly enough in appearance. & the reason I know that is because my boyfriend thinks i'm "sexy as hell" (thats what he says) & I weigh like 170 pounds, but see I'm not just a fat thing, i'm big boned & I have big breasts. & to him, he likes a bigger girl, notice I didn't say a fat girl, and it really just depends on the guy. The only reason he doesn't like a slim girl is because he doesn't want to be reminded of his own body when he sees his girlfriend. He weighs around 150 pounds & he's like 5"8. I weigh 170 pounds & I'm 5"2. It all depends on the guy & what he likes, some guys like big girls, some guys like small girls, some guys like fat girls & some guys like just average girls. Just because you're not skinny doesn't mean you're not sexy, and if you don't wanna agree with me that's fine to all of you out there but my boyfriend said that to me himself. so it's not just my opinion.
So for all the girls out there who say men only like skinny women or whateevr you're wrong.

also, you're extremely right when you said that guys who want a relationship don't just notice your body, they think about you as a person and everything else about you like your face too. I can guarantee right now, that if I didn't have a beautiful face I probably wouldn't have a lot of guys staring at me all the time because they would just see a bigger girl, but I wear cute clothes and I have a really pretty face & I like to show off & confidence so they notice me way more.
If you're boyfriend is in love with you, then he won't just see you for your body so it won't matter if you are overweight anyways because he'll like you so much that it doesn't matter.
But I really think it just depends on someone's type & I do truly think though that a guy has to like a bigger girl to date her & fall in love with her & that he can't just fall in love with her if he's not attracted to her. I do agree on that part that he has to be attracted to her first, but if he is in love with you then that's all that matters to him & he thinks your cute too.

Friday, July 9, 2010, 12:17 AM

RE:Monday, July 05, 2010, 4:34 AM

5 ft 9 is tall for a girl so idk why they would all like your older daughter because even though some guys like skinny girls, hardly any of them like a tall, skinny girl. That's even worse then a pretty, chubby girl whose like 5"5.

Most guys like short girls so i'm just letting you know that she either has a really pretty face or she puts out & you just don't know & also you said she is bi?
well that's probably the reason she gets so many people after he, especially guys because bi=slut in guy language! Bi means you have a boyfriend & a girlfriend at the same time & tell me what kind of guy doesn't want two girls at once? Not any guys that are gonna care about your daughter for who she is. and i'm not trying to be rude, but bi people most of the time are confused so she probably really does put out to make herself feel better inside. you can't be in love with 2 people at once & that's what bi people do so she's obviously not normal in the first place. i'm 18 years old so i know that girls my age who are bi are always not normal or we think they are but when you're their friend & not their mom you know more than their mom.

Friday, July 9, 2010, 12:27 AM

RE: Thursday, january 03, 2008, 2:07 am

wrong. you're definetly wronggggg, because you see she said her husband was in love with her, she didn't say they were just hooking up. So, she ment that he didn't notice it because he IS IN LOVE WITH HER, she didn't say because he just didn't notice anyone notices when you gain weight you stupid ass i'm sorry you couldn't comprehend what she was saying but don't be a bitch to her because she's right & because you didn't understand what she was saying.

Friday, July 9, 2010, 12:34 AM

fat girls are not attractive.

period.

Saturday, July 31, 2010, 1:24 PM

do guys like fat chicks?

now -a- days guys like curvy thick women. my bf loves me FAT, i tell him every day he is crazy but......i dunno. most of guy friends like women with boobs, hips, and butts.

Sunday, August 1, 2010, 2:08 AM

I never understood why men prefer skinny woman who have no breasts and butt. They look like little girls who are in middle school. I am not attracted to skinny guys, I like chubby men. I dont think like a man but I know that I find women who have 20-30 pounds extra on them more pretty than a stick figure. What makes a woman so pretty and feminine, is the the soft curves and the fuller breasts and butt:)

Sunday, August 1, 2010, 2:04 PM

yes...i agree to this to some extent. Being obese is ugly but having a few extra pounds is attractive. Victoria Beckham is pretty with all the makeup and when she is all done up, but she is too thin. Women should have curves and bigger breasts. In order to be truly happy you need to fix ur inner self and then work on ur physical appearance, otherwise ur effort to lose weight is worthless.

Sunday, August 1, 2010, 2:23 PM

?

She DID specify the age factor by saying "younger men." Go back and read again.

Wednesday, September 8, 2010, 12:52 PM

?

The above post was directed at the user who posted on

Friday, December 28, 2007, 2:08 AM

Wednesday, September 8, 2010, 12:54 PM

what?

"Women should have curves and bigger breasts."

what if the woman naturally has small boobs? What the hell kinda argument is that?

Wednesday, September 8, 2010, 12:56 PM

LOOK

I AM AN EXAMPLE BBW, AND I AM 25YRS, 5"3 @240LBS.....I AM VERY,VERY BEAUTIFUL YOUNG WOMAN INSIDE AND OUT.I HAVE BEEN OVERWEIGHT ALL MY LIFE. I'VE HAD THE EXTREMELY HANSOME GUY THAT ONLY CALLS U AND DON'T WANNA GO ANY WHERE BUT ALWAYS COME OVER TO EAT AND GET SOME. THE SO CALLED BOYFRIEND THAT STAYS WITH YOU UNTIL SPRING OR SUMMER HITS. THE FRIEND WITH BENEFITS DEAL. I'VE ALSO HAVE HAD ACTUAL BOYFRIENDS THAT I HAVE BEEN WITH MORE THAN 2YRS(CURRENTLY IN A RELATIONSHIP NOW) AND HAVE MET FAMILY AND FRIENDS AND WENT PLACES. SO I HAVE JUST AS MUCH CHOICE AS A SKINNY OR AVERAGE WEIGHT FEMALE. I JUST WHAT TO LOOSE WEIGHT NOT MUCH B/C I WOULD LIKE TO REMAIN THICK BUT JUST SO I CAN FEEL BETTER.

P.S. MEN ARE GOING TO APPROACH A FEMALE NO MATTER HOW BIG OR SMALL THEY.

Sunday, September 12, 2010, 11:28 PM

Wow!

Man here. First off, I'd like to apologize for some of the rude comments other men have posted on here. Way to represent guys!

Second, fat is a temporary thing! 80% of the women on here CAN lose the weight.

Third, if men are shallow enough to base there entire attraction on a body, the relationship is doomed from the get go. It HAS to be built on a foundation other than beauty or it won't last

Since my separation/divorce I have dated many different kinds of women and some being heavier. What I have found is a rather beautiful humility in heavier women who are willing to deal with my imperfections much easier (everyone has them).

If I'm going for the long haul, I want someone beautiful on the inside. The outside can be worked on. However, that being said, there are certain qualities of beauty the vanity side of me looks for. How about a gorgeous smile, or eyes that pierce your soul. Gosh the last time I looked, heavier women have these qualities right?

Just recently I went out on a Match date where this woman was drop dead gorgeous. But she only posted pics from the shoulders up. When we met I discovered she was at least 50 lbs overweight. But she was still the same person I got along with on the phone, and though maybe feeling a tad deceived for not posting full disclosure, I still asked her out again because we had a great time.

So YES!!!!! Men like heavier women. Especially those that take care of themselves and are doing something about it. Diamonds in the rough are soooo sexy. ;)

This is not something I'm ashamed of.

~Bendage

Monday, September 13, 2010, 12:12 PM

The most important thing is not fat, it's if she takes care of herself. Some men love fat women...they had a fat mommy and it reminds them of home. Some men do not.

Tuesday, September 14, 2010, 4:54 AM

I probably shouldn't be giving too much advice, but I believe you should become more beautiful for you, not someone else.

"It's not the mountains we conquer, but ourselves." -Sir Edmund Hillary

-BOB_F

Thursday, September 16, 2010, 8:53 PM

big women

thank you sugar...I'm a bbw I have been told a number of times that NO ONE love themself the way I love me....It's all abour confidence....I have enough to share....I love being a BBW

Friday, September 17, 2010, 11:08 PM

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Tuesday, September 28, 2010, 8:27 PM

Attracted to the obese? Not really.

I think a lot of men pretend that they "attracted," when the truth is obese and overweight females is all that's available to them in their particular situations. Many of these men lack the true confidence or self esteem and/or resources etc., to go after who they really want, so they settle for what no one else is checking for.

A good example of this would be to see a guy's choices before he comes into real money (millions) or his situation changes from one extreme to the other. In many cases once that change takes place all those obese women that many of these guys claim to "prefer" will disappear, and get replaced by the same 5' 8", 135 lb females that everybody else wants. Somply because now they can.

Look around. Celebrities, successful ball players, businessmen, attorneys, doctors, etc. Sure there are some who' are with their longtime partner from before they "made it," and she may be heavy or obese. But I'm talking about the ones who start choosing AFTER they got there. Very rare to see these guys picking obese females. lol.

I know a lot of this isn't PC to say, but if you're honest, you've got to admit its true, with very, very few exceptions.

Don't believe the hype.

There are a whole lot less guys who "prefer" 200 and 300 lb. females than you think. Not saying they don't exist. But there is SOME lying and deflection going on here, too.

Thursday, December 16, 2010, 6:31 PM

And another thing:

Another point, and I must say I find this interesting. Why is it that a guy can’t say he’s not attracted to fat, overweight, obese women, etc., lest he’s called a pig, disgusting, whatever. Meanwhile women can give their opinions all day long about guys who for whatever reason they’re not attracted (too short, too tall, skinny, fat, not “cool” enough, handsome enough, etc), many of those being things that a guy can't even change (weight can be, regardless of the lies, which I think is a fair critique) with no problem?

For all the claims that women want to be equal and treated the same, they sure seem to benefit from enjoying a lot of double standards. I don’t expect a cogent answer. Just making a rhetorical point.

Thursday, December 16, 2010, 6:42 PM

6:31- So why is Pierce Brosnan still with Keely? The man could easily find a skinnier woman, but he seems quite happy with her, and I don't recall ever seeing a headline in a tabloid about Pierce cheating, or their marriage being a sham.

Would men usually prefer to sleep not obese woman? Sure. But men who actually want relationships don't usually mind if a woman has a little extra weight.

Thursday, December 16, 2010, 8:39 PM

6:31, I think you are talking about another phenomenon. What you are talking about is not so much a man's attraction to a woman, but his attraction to a vision of himself as "successful" in a very narrow way.

It's true, a man who makes it big might "trade in" an overweight woman for a conventionally pretty one. I'm not a bit overweight, but mine traded me in for a 20-years-younger model. Kanye West nailed the even uglier racial version of this in the third verse of "Gold Digger."

That's ugly, and it happens, and it certainly applies to age and race as well as weight. I don't think it has ANYTHING to do with the attractiveness of the woman involved, it has everything to do with the perceived boost in social status that a tall thin young blonde might signify.

It's pretty childish. And a guy like Pierce Brosnan who has defined success on his own terms and achieved it doesn't need to worry about whether his wife is impressive to other social losers.

Friday, December 17, 2010, 8:13 AM

guys do date fat girls. not all guys judge a girl on her weight .many like a girls personality,smile,eyes etc.. iam not saying its easy but iam saying its not impossible. ive always beena fairly large girl, 150 lbs at 5'5 but ive never ever had a problem with guys. i just try to dress up as nice as i can,smell nice, do my nairls and hair and guys DO get attracted to me ..and nt just a few but manny of dem

Tuesday, December 21, 2010, 10:13 AM

A slightly different and personal perspective

For me part of the reason I initially would seek out a larger woman is because I find that more often sex with a smaller woman is way more difficult for me especially if she is younger and/or has never had a child yet; and is because of my penis size. While this isn't the golden rule, I find that even if it "can work" it still "feels" better with a bigger woman or at least one who is not super skinny.For me part of the reason I initially would seek out a larger woman is because I find that more often sex with a smaller woman is way more difficult for me especially if she is younger and/or has never had a child yet; and is because of my penis size. While this isn't the golden rule, I find that even if it "can work" it still "feels" better with a bigger woman or at least one who is not super skinny.

Sunday, February 13, 2011, 3:17 PM

Do men get attracted to fat women?

The answer is OMG yes, my wife of 10 years is around 200 lbs at 5'6 and it is so nice to come home to a big woman's arms and have her next to you in bed. It is not really about the weight, though---she has been bigger and has been smaller and I think she is just an enchanting harlot who has stolen my heart and there's nothing I can do about it, regardless of her size.

I love her wide hips, soft body and gorgeous skin!

Saturday, March 12, 2011, 4:44 PM

Go back to school, please. :-]

Are you serious, Wednesday, January 02, 2008, 3:59 PM? Did you fail both history AND biology in High School? "slim and skinny" women weren't even attractive by standards of mainstream attention until Twiggy made it a pop culture phenomenon. Shakespeare talked about the curves of a beautiful woman. Mona Lisa, the most beautiful woman in art, is a size 12 AT LEAST. Marilyn Monroe was a size 14, and she's iconic for how sexy and downright attractive she was. There are classic books, poetry and paintings that go against your point. There are songs, both old and new, that also contradict your assertion. By nature, the woman is the BIGGER of the sex. Insects, vermin, most feline and canine species. By nature, as nature intended it too be, women are supposed to have a little extra chunk than necessary. By NATURE men are more attracted to the strongest of the sex, not the skinniest. By NATURE, as mammals, when a man sees a woman he sees her as someone who has the capacity to bear his children. It sounds odd, but subconsciously it's there. It's why so many men think about sex with a woman before they even know her name. Sorry if I sound disrespectful, to quote you, but you need to read more or maybe get back in school. As both a man, AND an educator you are a great discredit to the aptitude of your sex. Whichever sex you're filed under.

Tuesday, April 19, 2011, 2:44 PM

big BEAUTIFUL women

BBW, 'Large','Chubby', 'Fat - Whatever description is used I can guarantee guys are checking you out just hoping your eyes will meet their gaze.
My eye is always caught by the larger ladies. It's in my genes!
Have confidence in your natural beauty.

Sunday, May 8, 2011, 3:24 AM

Men attracted to fat women

I am a confident mature white bbw and i guess you can say that I'm a cougar. I usually go for the younger guys but I'm starting to rethink this whole cougar thing because i agree with a couple of the posters on here about younger guys, like in their 20's and 30's, its just a sexual fetish for me and i do believe they get a lot of shit from there buddies so they are very insecure about dating or even having a sexual thing with a bigger woman so maybe i should start going for the older men.
I have been told by other men that I'm more solid than most bigger women, whatever that means.
I always have my hair and nails done and a lot of different size men, tell me I'm sexy and attractive all the time but they still wont date me.
I have so much confidence in myself, its oozing out of me and always try to look good all the time where ever i go and still no man wants to date me. They just want to use me but wont date me.
I'm going to rethink the cougar thing and try to be more attracted to men my age or a little older and see how that works for me.

Tuesday, July 5, 2011, 6:41 PM

Of course men do get attracted to fat women...

Depending on what you call fat of course... I would say something around 20 to 30 pounds extra are really appealing to me. If she has a thin waist then she's hot!! Nice boob she's a goddess!!

Wednesday, July 6, 2011, 1:10 AM

I think cause black & latin men love women with a fat ass!! & let's be honest most men don't like women with too big of an ass cause they're afraid of having a penis too small for all that junk in the trunk.I'm latin and love women with mad junk! HUGE turn on and I can deffinetely say most of these women I drool over are slightly over weight.in don't mind one bit.Voluptuos is the word of the day.

Thursday, July 21, 2011, 2:38 PM

is it noramle for me to masturabte about fat hairy old men? it turns me on in bed but not in the real world

Thursday, July 21, 2011, 6:17 PM

Do men get attracted to fat women?

hello i like women with meat on her bones. im a skinny guy and i like it..i dont like women that are skinny. i think women that have pounds on her are the best there is out there.ealy hope the women that had posted this would like to chat with me. i would like to know you more. my email is taken2notforu@yahoo.com i hope you get this. i realy liked what you said and want to know you more.......

I am a single mother in her early thirties and am living proof that most successful, uppper to middle class white males in their 30's do not like fat women. I am fairly attractive, but fat. When I was thinner at about 175, I was told I was hot. I was full of muscle and still am, but I am truly just friggin fat now. There is no and's if's and buts. I carry it well so to speak if you can say you carry fat well. I am not grossly huge in any one area, just tall and overall fairly large at 5'8" and 270 lbs. Men do not even give me a second glance as compared to what they did when I was average looking. I don't meet men, don't have any dates, and don't get a chance with men because of nothing more than my size. Fat is ugly no matter how you look at it. If it wasn't, we wouldnt all be here looking at these boards and posting so we can lose weight.

Depressing it is, but that is how life is for fat people.

Friday, December 28, 2007, 8:51 PM

Link

Friday, August 5, 2011, 8:04 PM

Yes, there are some men who are attracted to fat women, just as there are some men who are attracted to severely underweight women. I met this wonderful guy when I was 35 years old and I was at 205 lbs (5'6"). I'm a happy, outgoing person with a lot of interests and he saw all of me, not just the fat. We got married a few years later when I was around 230 lbs. I know this man loves me for me, curves, fat, all of it. I also love him despite his "flaws".

Listen, all you beautiful women out there of all ages, shapes and sizes. There are nice guys out there who do love curvy (fat) women. Do not give up.

Friday, August 5, 2011, 11:45 PM

In some countries overweight woman are considered more beautiful and show a wealthy side to them because they are able to eat finer things as one man said of the women in one carribean island. I think weight has nothing to do with what attracts a man. It is what is inside one"s heart that matters!

Sunday, August 7, 2011, 9:26 AM

I am, my past two girl friends were over weight. Girls worry about it too much. Yah you'll get some shallow guys but they're not worth your time anyways. Just keep your eyes open, there's probably somebody you see all the time who likes you.

Saturday, September 24, 2011, 7:09 PM

A man that loves big women...

i dont mind my woman on a big side...size 24 or more i don't mind but what i dont like is flabby skin and big stomach covering the Virginia area...Its tiresome during sex...so far you can carry yourself well and smart with your size am cool... The major thing that irritates man are plus size woman who are lazy and unkept, majorly once you're indoors with them they fall apart as if their old. Plus size woman are for men that have the mind to handle big situations, big thing or will i say men with bigger minds.

I hardly notice a slim woman whenever am in an environment unless she's very smart and her charisma tells it or else i don't want to know her... men who love plus size woman love the beauty of the ass not necessarily big breast but it gives the confidence in a man saying i control or own that huge ass... Once you're not flabby i don't mind the size....thats me... Basically we love the ass more bigger and thinny waist.

Monday, October 24, 2011, 11:43 AM

Man

some men are attracted to bigger ladies... I am personal is addicted to them..
I like there fleshy and soft skin, the size of there boobs and ass... I love them..

Saturday, December 10, 2011, 4:50 AM

Do men get attracted to fat women?

Thankfully yes, some do. My husband loves curves on a woman; he loves big breasts, hips, glutes, thighs. He also grew up reading his Dad's old school Playboys, when women were still admired for looking like women, instead of skinny boys.

Sunday, December 18, 2011, 1:22 PM

wrong wrong wrong

Please tell me you don't actually get paid to tell women the filth that is coming out of that mouth!!!!

Sunday, January 8, 2012, 4:23 PM

Ment for the comment from the therapist! !! Way back up the post! Sry just have to say not all men think big,thick,overweight,juicy,fat, what ever word you wanna use are ugly or easy or unconfident or any of that other BS!

Sunday, January 8, 2012, 4:29 PM

I noticed a lot of the comments were posted by women. So here is a post by a man. From my experience many men will go after fat women because it's easier and/or they are into big breasts. I'm not into breasts as much as the next guy, i'm more into the face and legs. There are a lot of different types of a fat women. My ex-wife was technically fat, but she had a tone waist with most of the fat in the breasts and thighs. I have dated ladies bigger than me, but I couldn't get over the fact that I couldn't wrap my arms completely around her waist. Anyways, most men are attracted to the face, breasts, and/or personality. From my experience I hate the more cushion for the pushin, it feels like putting your thing in a tub of lard and the main thing I hated dating a fat women was due to their laziness. I'm not a busy bee, but when most of their time is spent on their bottom or belly instead of doing fun things outside the house it's a turn off. Plus it's gross when they have more than one love handle, like three. It's just unhealthy to see a woman around 300lbs losing her breath walking up a flight of stairs.

Tuesday, January 17, 2012, 3:33 AM

pp, there's a difference between obese and fat, and you seem to be discussing fat women. I'm about 40lbs overweight, and I've never met a man that couldn't get his arms around my waist, and I don't even have a single set of love handles. Also, I play volleyball and swim. While I tend to take stairs instead of elevators, that's because I wear a lot of 4" heels, and elevators are safer than stairs.

Tuesday, January 17, 2012, 8:25 PM

*discussing obese women

Tuesday, January 17, 2012, 8:26 PM

wow

this is some really crazy stuff, real intense shit

Tuesday, January 24, 2012, 12:37 AM

I like older women n I also like bbw my mates take th piss but it Dnt bother me I like wot I like n I'm open about it evry body deserve love no mater wot size or race we r all human n have feelings this is my num if Eny body wants 2 chat 07943532451 we just need love or sumone 2 talk 2 love u all b nice

Monday, September 3, 2012, 1:03 AM

I think most men do not like stick thin but they don't like obese either!

Thursday, September 13, 2012, 10:31 AM

I am only attracted to larger women

It's different for any one of us, its not like every single fat chick is hot to me. I always say to my friends that I just choose to pick my girls from another group of individuals, they pick from the skinnier part of the population while I pick the larger parts ( and I mean larger, I hate women that are 120 pounds and think they're fat, I wouldn't touch you, not until your at least 200 ). But sometimes people will send me a picture of a toothless woman that stole beer from a liquor store under her breasts, some weird trailer trash crap... That's not attractive. BBW is what we call "Big Beautiful Women", they also have to make their weight work for them.

But to answer your question, I like how soft they are. I mean I'm pretty skinny and I've always been that way (not all big girl lovers are skinny mind you, despite what most people think), and I imagine that if I were to have sex with a skinnier woman that it would be like grinding rusty gears together because we're so boney lol. That's not really the reason, I don't know why. It's like being gay almost, sorry if that offends the homosexuals reading this but that's the only way I can describe it. I'm attracted to them because I am. Sorry if that doesn't help much.

Wednesday, September 26, 2012, 1:42 AM

Im a 32 years young confident outgoing athletic male , my ideal woman is around 5'6 155 lbs with most of the weight in the chest hips thighs and butt . im not into muscular women, or obese women. I prefer the mixture of both ...

I do feel the media is to blame for alot of the pressure put on both men and women to conform to one type of physical beauty for example i think an added 20 to 30 lbs would do wonders to certain celebrity women but if that were to happen they would be labled in a negative light.

I think its about the idea of having something that is hard to obtain like a diamond or Ferrari , the problem is that our bodies change over time and aren't made in factories but there we are trying to make something thats truly one of a kind look like mold we weren't born to fit

Im not saying we should let ourselves become blobs of fat or bags of bones, im just saying we should find where we feel healthy and comfortable and let nature do the rest

Wednesday, November 28, 2012, 2:47 AM

I am overweight and have health issues that cause it.

I want a date because I have a terminal illness and would like to have a date once more before I get too sick to date anyone anymore. My illness is causing weight gain and will start soon to cause massive fast weight loss. I cannot exercise because of a injury to a foot. I cannot afford diets and my doctor said I cannot do a diet because it will shorten my life. I am 5'7" and 200 pounds and no one wants me to loose weight with this type of cancer. I try to find a date and cannot find anyone even though before I got sick I was a TV actress and model. I am not typically ugly, but fatigue plays a role. Looking in the bars makes me tired. Drinking wears me out. I started to hate men for being so mean and not giving me a chance even for fun. I am young too, I just had bad luck. I will not recover and seriously can not do any sort of exercise. I do not want to loose weight as I am told the more I have the longer I will live when it starts falling off. Who will answer this men and who wants to meet me. I am tired of being treated like I don't matter even though I have had an amazing life, I would like that one last date and miss it so much...comment back if you are interested.

Saturday, February 16, 2013, 5:34 AM

One last thing a few months before I die I will finally be thin

A few months before I die I will be very thin like a fashion model but too sick to stand up or have the energy for sex. Life sucks this way. It makes me sad to think if the weight would drop off before I was that sick I would have my last date, and now I go to bed every night knowing I don't believe I ever will. I am seriously told NOT to try to loose weight right now so that is not an option.

Saturday, February 16, 2013, 5:37 AM

Nahhh

As a guy with workung guy parts I can tell you you're completely wrong about that. I, and about 95% of other guys probably, like boobs. And it's just a fact. Chubby girls have THE best boobs. I don't think of myself as weird or anything and really, most skinny girls do nothing for me. I've dated skinny girls because they had a sexy mind but when it comes to appearances, I go for big girls, hands down. They are SO much more feminine than a skinny woman with the body of a 10year old boy.

Wednesday, July 10, 2013, 4:10 AM

Wow. As a guy, that's not how I think about it at all. I would pick a chubby girl over Beyonce Knowles any time. A real woman is where it's at for me. Not "round-so-you-can-roll-her-around" fat, but when things are in proportion, I couldn't care less about the weight. There's no weight on beauty. There are totally hot fat girls and ugly as hell skinny girls and the other way around. Also, as a guy, I would rather date a chubby girl because I just think they're hotter. They have bigger boobs, bigger ass, things move around when having sex and a soft woman feels sooooo much better. What was said about guys getting shit for dating bigger women is soooo true. Saying you like chubby girls can be like coming out if your friends don't know about it yet. But then you find out, once THEY know how you feel about chubby girls, they feel like it's suddenly "ok" to notice them too. None of my friends would have seen a gorgeous chubby girl walk by and say "check that one out" if they DIDN'T know I was into them. Sad thing about our culture.

Wednesday, July 10, 2013, 4:23 AM

Guy here. Doesn't apply to me. Weight is just one of many factors. Most men I know notice waist-hip ratio first, subconsciously. Proportions, so to speak. It IS the fiest thing we see before getting to know us so don't judge us. A lot of men do bend under peer and social pressure and ignore chubby women out of fear of being made fun of or whatever. It's pretty sad. I know about a guy who had a hot (chubby) girl come over to HIM and he was obviously interested before, but he totally shot her down because his friends were there. Sad.

Wednesday, July 10, 2013, 4:29 AM

Same here lol. I would hate for some self-conscious girl to come to this thread and only read what other women THINK men want. I'm younger than you but I think you're dead on. We are conditioned to only pay attention to slim women from childhood, like it's not ok to notice curvier women. A lot of men don't get over that until they get older, I think. Too bad because they're missing out :D

Wednesday, July 10, 2013, 4:35 AM

I'm a guy in my early 20's so she may be a little old for me but I wouldn't say no. She has a nice smile, nice legs, kind of an hour-glass figure. Sex with a woman like that is just awesome.

Wednesday, July 10, 2013, 4:54 AM

I want to extend my testimony

I want to extend my testimony to people out there looking for help, if you need a spell caster to help you bring back your lover contact dr.marnish@yahoo.com or call him at +15036626930, he based united state, i ordered with this caster a lovespell and he gave me the most astonishing and wonderful result that i have never seen, he has made me known that there is a helping hand out there whenever I feel the need for it.

Tuesday, March 25, 2014, 5:23 PM

I'm a black man but i am not attracted to fat women. I work out hard to keep my body in shape and i feel that a woman who does the same is super attractive. I love a thin, feminine toned body where i can see her body shape. Although there is nothing wrong with a female being a little thick, but i can't get with an overall fat woman. I will say, i have actually seen a couple women who are close to the fat side, but had beautiful faces. And if they lost that weight, oh my god they would be show stoppers.

Thursday, April 24, 2014, 3:37 PM

The myth of slim women.....debunked

If a man says that he likes slim women, i wud say he is lying.....
all men like bulky, curvy women with big wide hips....that is the truth. you see the jealousy in their eyes when they see a slim, smart guy walking with a big curvy beauty ....slim women always knew this...they are jealous of BBWs.....

Wednesday, September 24, 2014, 5:21 AM

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