EMAIL THREAD

nanny vs. daycare

Any thoughts on this would be appreciated. I'm weighing the pros and cons of both.

Fri. Feb 1, 9:51am

can you describe your options . I mean day care is very generally , did you investigate a local one or one w/ a good reputation? And regarding Nanny is this someone you trust? Is there a financial obligation? Right off the bat my personal opinion is that family is always the way to go . But that is my family I trust and love them. Also I beleive that no one will care for your child the way you can truly not even nanny but what is the closest, to your beleifs and idea of care, for some people thati s daycare. I know my sister in-law for example her daughter is much better off in day care b/c she gets so much more interastion w/ adults and peers her Nanny is too old to keep up w/ her she is 2 yr. old very active. I think that when they were trying that arrangement it made a great deal of stress on the familys. So I guess it is so individual, I beleive most people choose what arrangement works best for them and their child. Study and research your options. How old is your child? Can he/she tell you about the kind of day they had or are they able to care for themselves (get dressed, feed self)? Ok good luck, hopefully w/ more info. you'll get a better answer back

Friday, February 1, 2008, 10:16 AM

how old are the kids?

Friday, February 1, 2008, 10:51 AM

Back when I did some nannying, the family started mixing it up between private nanny (me) and a local playgroup, meaning a woman who took in up to 7 kids (where I was, that was the legal maximum), after the child hit the age of two in order to make sure she was properly socialized until she was old enough for nursery school. I think this was a really good idea because too much one-on-one interaction can bring a level of attachment between the nanny and child that makes the mother uncomfortable and guilty.

Friday, February 1, 2008, 11:07 AM

I've been a nanny for 16 years, I've also worked in a day care as well. The advantage of private nanny is your child does get one on one. True with a lot of nannies you don't get the social interaction the the child should have, unless you can find a nanny who has a child the same age or the nanny takes the child to lots of social things, play groups, classes, etc. I am not just nanny though, I also have a teaching background. I have my days set up in a way that is fun for the children but also will teach them, language skills, math, spelling, etc. Day care you take chances of lots of things. My recommendation, whatever you decide make sure your gut is telling you its right and research. Any good nanny isn't going to mind letting you do a background check or a driving abstract, make sure you call references but most of all go with your instincts.

Friday, February 1, 2008, 11:38 AM

I am also a nanny. I love what I do. I believe that the choice should also be based on what your gut is telling you. I believe children can thrive in any environment, as long as it's positive and the child's basic and emotional needs are being cared for. The children I care for get the benefit of staying in their own home, being taken on outings, and having all meals prepared especially for them. Their parents and I also have a great relationship and I am completely flexible to their needs. ie: working early/late, needed on a weekend night, etc.

Friday, February 1, 2008, 3:04 PM

I'm the above poster. I also wanted to say-If you can afford it, you might want to choose a nanny. This person would be like a member of the family. You would be hand-picking someone with the same values as you and your family.

Either way, as long as he/she is around caring adults, your child will do great!

Friday, February 1, 2008, 3:10 PM

Where I live, it is common to see Nannies taking the child/ren to parks, playgroups, toddler classes, museums, etc. for the social interaction. At the two classes I take my little one to every week, there are at least 5 or 6 nannies with the child they are watching in attendance in each class. The nannies out here are exclusively for watching the children only. Absolutely no housework, laundry or cooking, only small tidying up after the child, and making snacks or lunch for child. I'm sure daycare would be great if you found the right one. Good Luck to you in your search!

Friday, February 1, 2008, 3:17 PM

to me it depends on the child, my older children did better one on one with a caretaker. But my youngest son seems to be thriving in day care, he loves the organization and structure, and the social part of it. I have had him in both and I can say he is doing so much better in day care. And for the record my sister was the nanny so I knew he was in good care. Just some kids need more structure and more social outlets.

Friday, February 1, 2008, 3:23 PM

Some pros and cons to both situations. My kids are older now (youngest is 10) so thank Goodness I don't have to deal with this anymore but here are some things that may help you make your decisions.
I used to work for a daycare when I was in highschool and that is when i decided my kids would not be put in daycare. They just don't get enough one on one time except if they are babies AND they are not in their own environment. Also if school age and they dont' do their homework and you're picking them up around 6 pm or so they then have to do that when they get home? How do you get to spend any quality time with them when they're doing that and you're rushing to get dinner out, then it's bath and bed time and the night is gone! Another big one, people send their sick kids to daycare because they have to go to work. This means that illness is spread around the daycare, not to mention the other gross germs. Another thing, their personal items go missing from the other kdis,,, coats, games they may have brought etc. Rates change all the time. The daycare can decide when to close their doors any particular days they'd like to whether it coincides with your schedule or not. You CAN'T be late picking up your kid, if your job is not flexible and you sometimes HAVE to stay late what do you do?
That said there are definate pros to a nanny but also cons to that as well. The pros:
-The kids are in their own environment
-you can pay less because YOU are providing meals and snacks already from your home and your nanny can eat from your grocery bill as well (one selling point to the job with a little less out of your pocket)
-Child can do their homework as one of your designated rules after school
-they can do their chores in the afternoon
-they don't have to wait to get home to play with their own toys
-they may have friends in the neigborhood they would rather be out exercising and playing with. How much exercise do they really get in a small yard at daycare?
CONS:
-If the nanny is sick, you miss work (believe me, after long years of experience regardless of how well you screen you CAN get snowed with this!)
-If they up and quit, you're screwed. It can take 3 or 4 weeks to replace them after placing the ad and screening and checking references, what do you do during that time period? This is a situation you have to account for because it does happen
-Your house can get trashed (if your nanny is a slob forget about it) We had a rule that we didn't pay for housekeeping so we didn't expect them to clean HOWEVER, what ever mess was made either by her or kids WHILE she was there must be cleaned up. Do you want to guess that was not always the case?
-some folks think being a nanny is a cush job, therefore, they apply for it, say all the right things etc and then you find that they took the job cause they're lazy and just thought that the job would mean they could sit on their butts all day!
-you run the risk of the nanny wanting to run errands with your kids in their car (no big deal as long as you've driven with them, checked DMV record, and know they have insurance but you'll still worry) However, that's one of the benefits of being a nanny if you allow that and it helps to "sell" the job if you're paying a little less. They have some freedom to take care of personal things they may not have while working a "regular" job.
-You can simply get a bad one. I've had to deal with 3 of those. One time my husband came home early from work, the nanny was "dead" asleep on the couch while my infant (2 rooms down from her and not far away) was screaming at the top of his lungs and trying to climb out of his crib. She didn't even wake up while my husband called to tell me this. Obviously my response was "fire her ass now!"
Sorry if this helped to confuse you further but thought these were things that you could and should take into account when making your decision. Take it from someone who's been through it all and is thankfully DONE with that part of my life. What a relief!

Friday, February 1, 2008, 3:25 PM

I went to school to start my own daycare & I feel that as the child is older it is a wonderful to have one on one time. This person can teach your child everything they need, but the child also needs to learn problem solving when it comes to socializing with other children. I feel this should happen around3-4 before the child goes to school. Then he or she isn't shell shocked and think that everything belongs to them.(especially if they are the only child). I have been home w/ my son for the past 3 years, he is 4 & I feel that he knows how to act around adults & has a wonderful vocabulary, but this year I sent him to Pre-K so he knows what is expected before he is in school ALL day. I do agree go with your gut in the beginning, but in the end they will be in school & its a nice adjustment. I did the playdates & all those wonderful things, but when he first went to school he was like whoa kids all the time, he thought he was only going to play. SO I am happy that I made this decision, good luck on making yours.

Friday, February 1, 2008, 4:47 PM

abover poster....sorry thoughts were messy, * what I meant to say that yes from birth until the child gets older one on one time is wonderful.

Friday, February 1, 2008, 4:49 PM

we have had in home nanny, daycare center and in home daycare (not ours but the daycare provider). I have to say the best for us was the in home daycare, its kind of the best of both worlds. ALso, its important to keep in mind that what might be the best solution for your family now, can be different than 8-10 months or a year from now. you need to be flexible, go with the flow and be willing to tweak the situation. We couldn't be happier with our situation!

Friday, February 1, 2008, 11:46 PM

Many people have pointed out the pros and cons, but I will say from personal experience that it depends on if you have good day care or a good nanny. I have been a nanny, and there is definitely the security of being able to dictate your child's activities. The parents of the kid I watched (he was a toddler) had him signed up for gymnastics class, we would go to the neighborhood pool, etc. And of course your child getting one on one care in their own home is awesome. But there are some nannies out there that will do the bare minimum (I can be guilty of that when I am feeling tired) and your child will not be getting excellent, stimulating care for the money you are paying. In comparison, at daycare, they can be getting valuable social interaction with kids their age and if its a good facility, the caretakers are on their "A-game" all the time, even if they aren't giving the kids really personal attention. So I think its about finding the right provider as opposed to - one is definitely better than the other.

Saturday, February 2, 2008, 8:12 PM

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