CommunityBrowse groupsBlogEtiquetteInvite Your friendsSuccess Stories


OT - Relationship Drama.. need advice.

My guy and I have been in a long distance relationship for the past 2 years. What began as a friendship blossomed into something more. We've had issues with the distance from day one, but our communication and trust in one another kept us together.
For the past week we've been struggling with the 'us' factor. He is questioning his future, his choices, and also our relationship in terms of being together in the long run. I've made it clear that I am willing to make the move to be with him when/if that time comes, but he's being emotionally distant. I understand that he is struggling on his end to find answers, but our communication has shut down.
One moment he says he needs time and space to work through his chaos so we can be a couple once again, other moments he says he wants he to end the relationship and be just friends.
I love this man and don't want to lose him over this episode in his life. I'm trying to be supportive, but my patience is wearing thin.. very quickly.
Friends have told me to cut my losses with my pride intact, but my heart refuses to budge thinking that he will come around once he has calmed down.
I'm confused and frustrated. I don't know what to say or what to do without allowing my emotions to overcome me.
Anyone who has handled a long distance relationship issue and can give a few words of advice would be dearly appreciated.

Tue. Jan 29, 12:59am

Add comment  
I did the long distance thing for 5 years with my now husband. It is hard, but it's doable.

It says a lot when your bf says he wants to break things off and be friends. I know it's hard for us to hear those words and we women love the fantasy of 'he'll realize how fabulous I am and won't want to be wtihout me.' Guys are often weak in this department and they sometimes pull this b.s. in hopes you'll break up with them and save them the dirty work. If nothing else, you don't want to have to chase down, encourage, or convince the person in your life to want to be with you. You deserve a guy who thinks you rock his world and he can't imagine being without you.

I'm with your friends on this one. You could simply give your guy a, 'You know what? You sound confused right now. I'll make it easy on you. Figure out your life and if you want to talk you know where to find me. " Then give him space and go about your life as hard as that may be. And, who knows, maybe he WILL figure it out and realize you rock and come back. But at least YOU decide and you're not waiting around for some guy to determine your future.

p.s. We had a rough patch at one point in our long distance thing and he was in a similar confused state - not sure he wanted to be in a relationship. I said, "Okay. You no longer have a girlfriend.' I was willing to walk away. He freaked - we've been together 20 years now. I'm sure if I had reassured him how great we'd be together, etc. he would've run for the hills!

Tuesday, January 29, 2008, 8:21 AM

Add comment
I agree with the 8:21 poster. However I would also add that you should be cautious about the "friends" business. Being a bit unavailable, as much as it may hurt your heart, may also help him realize how important you are in his life.

Tuesday, January 29, 2008, 9:46 AM

Add comment

Related Content:

How To Lose Weight- The Basics
Weight Watchers Points System
The Fat Smash Diet
The Eat To Live Diet
The Beck Diet Solution
How To Get The Motivation To Lose Weight


How To Be Successful Using PEERtrainer

How To Burn Fat
Online Weight Loss Support- How It Works
Does Green Tea Help You Lose Weight?
Tips On Using PEERtrainer
Visit The PEERtrainer Community
Diet and Fitness Resources


Weight Watchers Meetings
Learning To Inspire Others: You Already Are
Writing Down Your Daily Workouts
Spending Money On A Personal Trainer?
How I Became A Marathon Runner


Preventive Health

How To Prevent Injuries During Your Workout
Flu Season: Should You Take The Flu Shot?
Are You Really Ready To Start PEERtrainer?
Super Foods That Can Boost Your Energy
Reversing Disease Through Nutrition

New Diet and Fitness Articles:

Weight Watchers Points Plus
How To Adjust Your Body To Exercise
New: Weight Watchers Momentum Program
New: PEERtrainer Blog Archive
Review Of The New Weight Watchers Momentum Program

Weight Loss Motivation by Joshua Wayne:

Why Simple Goal Setting Is Not Enough
How To Delay Short Term Gratification
How To Stay Motivated
How To Exercise With A Busy Schedule

Real World Nutrition and Fitness Questions

Can Weight Lifting Help You Lose Weight?
Are Protein Drinks Safe?
Nutrition As Medicine?

Everyday Weight Loss Tips

How To Eat Healthy At A Party
How To Eat Out And Still Lose Weight
The Three Bite Rule
Tips On How To Stop A Binge