Still a fat girl in my head

I've lost 86 pounds in the last 7 months. People have been complimenting me and saying I look great, but inside I still feel like that 264 lb, morbidly obese woman I used to be. For those of you who have lost a big chunk of weight, how do you make your head catch up with your body?

Fri. Jan 11, 12:07pm

Wow, that's some pretty drastic weight loss for 7 months. No wonder your brain hasn't caught up.

In a previous thread where something like this came up, a contributor mentioned an article in the January issue of O magazine about this exact subject. Thanks for reminding me to look that up, as I continue to buy clothes that are too big for me because I can't really believe I'm normal yet. And I lost the weight wayyy more slowly than you.

Friday, January 11, 2008, 1:18 PM

Me too! I have lost 65 pounds in 5 months. The other day I was going to be staying in and thought I'd wear these cute capris that I just love. It was a warm-er day and I thought it'd be nice. So, I got out my SIZE 20 capris and proceeded to put them on lke any other normal day. UM, HELLO, THEY DON"T FIT! What on earth was I thinking, I wear a 12, not a 20. Why didn't I realize this? It was just like a big slap in the face, I laughed out loud, hard. But, in a way it was sad. How do you move on?

Thanks OP, I need to look up that article, too. There should be a support group or something! LOL, kinda...

Friday, January 11, 2008, 1:22 PM

I just read that article at the gym yesterday and I would recommend it.

Friday, January 11, 2008, 2:20 PM

I've lost 57 lbs in 7 months.. but its kinda the opposite with me. I feel like MYSELF again... I'm back! Before I didn't feel like myself and I still don't recognize pictures of me, its like another person. perhaps because I grew up thin and didn't gain weight until my latter 20's... who knows but I am HAPPY to be back!

Friday, January 11, 2008, 2:23 PM

Congratulations on your weight loss!

You know, sounds silly but when I was a little I wore thick glasses and was chubby. I am no longer like that, I got contact and slimmed down, but I still feel like that girl sometimes.

Of course, I think ALL women should hold their heads high and love themselves, always. But when I see girls with inflated egos - who perhaps were always societies norm of "good looking" - I just think "yuck"

I don't know - sometimes I feel like a life of being the chubby kid with the coke bottle glasses gave me a bit more essence, humour, humility and perspective.

Do you guys know what I mean?

Friday, January 11, 2008, 6:36 PM

i had lost a lot of weight and gradually put it all back on. i realize looking back, when i was thinner, i was not use to the attention. people being nice to me?! inviting meeee to parties. it was all too bizarre. i didn't know what to do except to stuff my feelings. it gradually came back on and here i sit with PT.

i recommend being very aware of the binge moments. understand the emotions that drove you to eat will still be there. you will find yourself slacking off and i am telling you...do NOT allow yourself to creep back into those old habits. i wish i hadn't gained back the 50 pounds. it was just easier to eat then to deal with the feelings. i have to do it all over again...

Friday, January 11, 2008, 9:02 PM

I know what you mean. I cannot even tell anymore if I am chubby or not. I'm just so used to being the fat girl that I cannot think of myself as normal. Or maybe I shouldn't think of myself as normal yet... I guess that's my problem. I don't know if I am chubby or normal. I live in a place with a lot of Asian college girls -- obviously they are tinier than I am. My friends and family keep telling me that I look normal and I don't need to lose more weight, but then again they loved me and thought I was pretty when I was fat, too. Some days I look at myself and think, man, I got skinny, but most days I still feel like the chubby girl no matter what. :(

Friday, January 11, 2008, 9:25 PM

I lost 55 pounds in 2007, it took me the whole year, but I did it and I still have another 20 or so to go. I still feel like the fat girl too, though. Especially when I look in the mirror. That woman that keeps staring back at me keeps giving me awful looks and I keep hoping that it's a trick mirror, but for some reason, I cannot seem to look in a mirror and see a skinny me. Even though I just purchased a size 12 jeans, the first size 12 I've worn in 15 years, I still look in the mirror and see that fat lady staring back. It's only when I look at pictures do I realize I do look a lot better than I did 55 pounds ago! I suggest you take pictures and display them for you to actually see that change. I think I am going to do that myself!!

Friday, January 11, 2008, 10:47 PM

I totally hear ya. I've been struggling with that myself recentlly, I've lost 48 lbs in 13 months on WW, and it's slowly sinking in when I look at myself, that I'm a different size than in my head. I get glimpses in the mirror and it seems to be a slow process for my mind to "catch up".Enjoy the success!

jill

Saturday, January 12, 2008, 7:20 AM

I agree with what people are saying. I'm down 35 lbs. to a size 6 (originally lost 30 and kept it off for 2 years) and I still sometimes look at my thighs and see the flabby parts and not the muscle parts. It took quite a while for me to realize when shopping for clothes I was a medium or small and not an extra large. I really suggest the photographs. When I see pictures of myself, I think "Wow, I do look thin and good!" It may take some time, but you will feel like the thin, fit, healthy person you are. It's all in the self-confidence. Realizing guys are checking you out is also a BIG boost!!! (And I'm 41 years old and I feel sexier now than I have in my entire life!)

Saturday, January 12, 2008, 9:21 AM

i feel the same exact way. A lot of people have been telling me that i lost weight and look great, but i still think i have a fat body and i didnt lose any weight. Then i try on my old clothes and realize that i did actually lose weight

Saturday, January 12, 2008, 10:18 AM

Yes photographs... I have one picture of me as a bridesmaid, with the bride and the two other bridesmaids... it was one of the only times that I ever looked at a picture and felt like I was the prettiest in it (except for the bride, of course). All my boyfriend had to say was "your flowers look really nice". Now I feel really stupid and I don't like the picture at all anymore.

Saturday, January 12, 2008, 10:18 AM

Weight loss

I want to congratulate everyone on thier weight loss...I am overweight and ready to lose the weight...I've actually lost 50 pds before but I want to learn to get it off and keep it off...Any advice, success stories, tips? I'd love to be down to my goal weight in a yr. Can I exchange emails? Any help is great thanks.

Friday, January 9, 2009, 11:07 PM

Hey PP that's exactly how I feel! I got me back! I only put weight on in my 20s and I think because I really didn't recognise what I saw in the mirror I began to dress differently and I even dyed my long blonde hair brown and cut it to a bob. Now I'm back and I feel the need to grow my hair and maybe get some highlights! Its the best feeling ever.
Also, it took me almost 3 years to lose 65lbs so I guess I had time to adjust.

Lorna :)

Saturday, January 10, 2009, 6:06 AM

ok that was for 2.23 not the pp, I guess its too early for me!

My thoughts on how to get to a place where you recognise you're achievements and have the correct body image is just, give it time. If like me, you've been overweight for a long time, to cope with this you may have been fooling yourself into thinking you're fine as you are. I used to say, 'this is just who I am' or 'well I may be overweight but I carry it well'. All this inner dialogue has been tricking your mind so its natural that it'll take time for your body and mind to be in agreement again! Also a tip to maintaining weightloss is also to train your inner dialogue. Instead of saying out loud 'I can do this' but secretly thinking 'I'm going to fail, I'll give up like I always have before' get your inner dialogue as positive as possible. And take compliments! Don't shrug them off or play them down. You've worked hard to get where you are and once you recognise this you'll feel like you have the power to do anything you put your mind to. Does that make sense? I think so :)
Lorna

Saturday, January 10, 2009, 6:16 AM

Wow Congrd. on losing 86# that is a wonderful job... I hear ya on the mind telling you that lie. I takes time and being mindful of your goal. I lost 170# in 2yrs. I went rhru gastric by pass I was 1 of the lucky ones I wasn't consumed with food anymoe an it worked for me up till 2yrs ago. I have gained 25 # an today I look at myself in the mirror I know that I have the choice to work and change those habits of eating. Yes the surgery aid is still there, but for me I have to work different food choices today an it is working I'm down 5#.I constatly remid myself of my goal and why I'm doing this . That OLd Fat Morbid Obese woman is no longer me, anI celebrate that choice everyday.
You keep up the Wonderful work you are doing I promise it will pay off, I freind once told me Let the Love Shine Thru you You Can Do It. Best to you.

Saturday, January 10, 2009, 10:38 AM

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