Help with LOVE

Alright. I have met this great guy. We met through friends about 1 month ago. I am 26 He is 30. We are both looking for the same thing. Well the more we talk to more I realize we have in common. Here is the thing we live 6 hours apart. We have just talked on the phone and e-mails and letters. We exchange pictures. We talk everymorning before he leaves for work 910 mins top) and everynight before bed (2 hours) There is nothing about this man that I don't like. Today we watched the football game together over the phone. Kinda corny but it was fun. With Christmas and everything we can't get together, but I am wanting to be with him something terrible. But here is my delima. I think I am in love with him and we havn't even been together face to face yet. He was joking today and asked me if I would marry him and I told him sure. But he doesn't know that I would truly marry him in a heart beat. How can I tell him how I feel without scaring him away. Better yet how can I deal with how I feel and not say anything yet. I might get heart broken if we get together and he doesn't want me anymore. I don't know he just makes me feel like I am in High School again.

Sun. Dec 23, 6:44pm

Usually I am the last person to give advise about relationships,
but....
The only thing that I can say that I feel safe in, (not wanting to sway you either way) is whatever choice you make take into consideration, 5, 10, 15 years from now are you going to be sorry you didn't or sorry you did?

Looking back on my life there are things I wish I had done and things I wish I hadn't. I am sure we all are that way. But when it comes to relationships I think we are always taking chances. Ya you may get hurt but that is part of life and if you don't stick your neck out there you never experience anything.
So there is my 2 cents worth.
Hope everything works out just the way it is supposed to.

Sunday, December 23, 2007, 8:13 PM

Slow down.
Seriously. Build a relationship with this fabulous person, but, girl, you gotta slow down. This is what the beginning of love or lust or whatever it is always is. Its hard to control or slow down.
But given that you are working into something long distance, you MUST be a bit more mature about it. 6 hours away is possible, my neighbours started that way (Toronto to Montreal), and now they are married.
Why don't you think about doing fun stuff together, dating, travelling, hiking, camping, going for walks, dinners, breakfasts, before you start thinking marriage?

Monday, December 24, 2007, 12:02 AM

I have been happily married for 12 years to a man that I met through friends who lived three hours away. Years before that, I had a long distance relationship with a man 5 states away. I ended up moving to be with him. From the very first week, I was abused physically and emotionally. I ended up leaving and going home after 10 months. So...what was the difference in these relationships?

I don't want to say anything to you that may be offensive, but I'm going to tell you the truth. Until I prayed and asked God who the right man for me was, my relationships were a disaster!!! I was the absolute worst at picking out the right man for me. Please slow down, pray, and trust that God has just the right person for you. Believe me when I say it's worth the wait.

Monday, December 24, 2007, 12:11 AM

I am not religious but I agree with the above poster!
Pray, reflect, think. Keep on doing that. Throughout the whole process.Don't let something like being in the moment take you over..

If I am making sense, I hope I do....

Monday, December 24, 2007, 12:26 AM

Seriously slow down! I am sure what you are feeling is real but don't freak him out. And really you need to meet this man before you say anything to him. I for one think its great that you like this guy based on what you've talked about and not on looks. But you need to be aware that things could change or you both could feel different once you meet. Do you plan on meeting sometime soon. Six hours isn't all the far, you can meet in the middle. But either way it is clear that the both of you are into each other so what are you both waiting for?

Monday, December 24, 2007, 2:18 AM

You've got to spend time together in person. If for no other reason than to make sure he's not actually married - lol. You have to spend time with him in person, though, to see how he treats other people, how he interacts in the real world, to see how you get along for hours and days at a time, etc.

Monday, December 24, 2007, 1:23 PM

I just went through something like this but we were not as long distance. We were in the honeymoon stage of the relationship for 6 weeks. Then it fizzeled. I was convinced this person was the one. We seemed to mesh on all levels. Now we just email once in a while. Be Careful during the beginning stages of the realtionship. Everyone is always on their best behavior. Then the real person comes out. Sometimes its not good news. It turns out I was dating a work a holic who was very angry at the world.

Monday, December 24, 2007, 3:10 PM

Thanks everyone.

To the 12:11 poster. I can honestly say that I have prayed allot on this one, as well as him. It was really beginnning to look impossible to see him soon and through prayer I have been able to get finaces together to be with him for a week. I am so excited. God does work in weird ways. I think God is telling me here is your chance don't blow it. So for all I am going next week to see him. I won't be around for a while, and wish me luck!!!

Monday, December 24, 2007, 9:21 PM

To the OP

OP, I completely sympathize with you. I am sitting here with tears in mye eyes on Christmas day alone after my kids left to go to their dads. Although I dont have an answer, I will share my story so you don't feel so alone. In todays world, internet relationships are so common.

I too fell completely for a guy I met online a year and a half ago. I met him and he was all I have ever wanted in a guy. He was smart, successful, funny, handsome, sexual, and was a great support and friend for me. We talk for hours a day online when we are at work. He was everything I ever wanted in a guy except for one thing; he cheats on his girlfriend with me. He has been living with a woman now for a while.

Our relationship has been mostly online except for a lot of text messages and phone calls here and there. He even went so far as to text me from his cell and IM me while he was on vacation with her and he talks to me on IM when she was busy in the next room. He lives a few hours away. We didnt meet for a long time; almost a year. I knew he had a girlfriend from the time we met but for some reason it didn't stop me from falling for him. Believe me, I wish it would have.

Internet relationships can make you feel so close and can be very intimate. People dont seem to understand a lot of times. I have only seen him twice in person and we were intimate both times. I fell for him really hard way before that, but it is so hard after that for sure. I felt used, dumb, and just naiive for the indifference I felt from him. All I wanted was to know he cared. I mean,he talks to me so much, how could he not? At least that is how I felt. I can even remember him saying things like "I am going to fall for you without even meeting you and I am attracted to you." Now all I get is "We are just internet friends and I am too emotional." I get everything put back on me because I feel too much.

I am not saying your guy has a girlfriend or a husband, but many times online I think they do. I know since my divorce I have met my fair share of men who are not single on match.com and yahoo. I steer clear except for this one I can't seem to let go. Men and women are seeking out what they can't get at home in terms of emotional support and sometimes physical too. I truly believe if he was happy at home with her, he would never have met me, let alone be spending this time with me and wanting to even talk to me. The internet makes an easy way to connect and often can be so hidden. I know his girlfriend is none the wiser. Yes, I feel like crap because of it. I feel like crap for me mostly which may be selfish, but I do feel bad for her too. I never would have wanted things like this, but yet the internet can be a very powerful way of leading a type of fantasy life. I guess when the reality sinks in and there is a meeting, that is when you will know whether the fantasy is better than the reality.

I know for me my weight plays a huge part in how I feel about myself and why I continue to feel like I need him as a 'friend' even though I know its not healthy. I always feel bad about myself and I know if I lost weight I would feel better. I guess I just pray this new year will bring hope for change and get me out of this. I feel so addicted. It sucks. I really truly do feel like I love him. I hate that because I know he is not thinking of me. She very well could have gotten an engagement ring for Christmas. Who knows... I live hours away. :(

I feel for you. Let us know how this turns out. I would be interested to know. Good luck.

Tuesday, December 25, 2007, 6:40 PM

I am sorry for you pain...but WOW you walked into that one. This is your responsibility, not the internet's fault.

OP is just caught up in the moment, the rush and thrill of meeting someone new. As everyone has said, she is just rushing a bit, as we have all done. Good luck with the guy, OP

Tuesday, December 25, 2007, 8:00 PM

Well all. As of right now I am sitting in his living room on my lap top. I came in this morning, and things have been great. Everyone's thoughts have really helped out. I am just taking it as it comes. We have had a great time together and we spent the day playing in the snow. He has to go to work tomorrow so I will be all alone here. I can honestly say I am not the only one feeling the way I have been he is feeling the same way as well. We had a nice long talk today followed by a snow ball fight. I couldn't have planned for things to be any better! It is great. I am not going to let my hopes go past where they allready are because I don't want to be heat broken if things were to sour. Tonight I think I will get lost in the moment when he gets back home! I am going to enjoy the fireplace and a nice man snuggled with me under the blankets. I am however maintaining my Christian beleifs IE we are sleeping in seperate rooms. I am going to stay strong there. I think this is why it is all so real to me. I prayed long and hard for God to give me someone and then there he was. I wonder night and day if this is the one God has given me. Only time will tell!

6:40 poster. Man do I ever feel bad for you to an extent. You even admitted yourself tht you knew what you were doing. But it still has to hurt. You can stay strong sister! I would gladly be a freind to you if you want to chat off of here let me know and we can exchange messenger id's or something. Or anyone else for that matter!

Once again everyone, thanks SOOOOO MUCH. I have brought my self back down to planet Earth and started to slow down a bit. I am as previosly mentioned just going to enjoy the ride. I hope everyone has a great new years and I will keep everyone posted!!

Wednesday, December 26, 2007, 10:41 PM

OP - You say you have Christian beliefs, does the guy have the same beliefs you do?? If he doesn't, please BE CAREFUL!

Thursday, December 27, 2007, 9:58 PM

Very very true 9:58. Yes, especially when you have never met him and are talking about snuggling under a blanket with him. That kinda turns a lot of people on, lol. Just make sure you are on the same page. I am glad to hear things are going well. :)

Thursday, December 27, 2007, 10:26 PM

It's me again...the 12:11 poster

I am so happy to hear that you are sticking to your Christian beliefs. After so many failed relationships, I had to come to that same decision when I was getting to know my husband. Please be careful not to put yourself into tempting situations. If this relationship is one from God, it is worth waiting to get sexually involved until you are married. I believe that is why my marriage now has been so blessed. Please hold firm to your convictions. If on the other hand, this turns out to not be the right person for you, you will have saved yourself so much heart ache. Either way, you will be blessed. My very best to you. Please keep us all posted.

Friday, December 28, 2007, 12:23 AM

Related Content: How To Lose Weight- The Basics Weight Watchers Points System The Fat Smash Diet The Eat To Live Diet The Beck Diet Solution How To Get The Motivation To Lose Weight		How To Be Successful Using PEERtrainer How To Burn Fat Online Weight Loss Support- How It Works Does Green Tea Help You Lose Weight? Tips On Using PEERtrainer Visit The PEERtrainer Community Diet and Fitness Resources
Fitness Weight Watchers Meetings Learning To Inspire Others: You Already Are Writing Down Your Daily Workouts Spending Money On A Personal Trainer? How I Became A Marathon Runner		Preventive Health How To Prevent Injuries During Your Workout Flu Season: Should You Take The Flu Shot? Are You Really Ready To Start PEERtrainer? Super Foods That Can Boost Your Energy Reversing Disease Through Nutrition
New Diet and Fitness Articles: Weight Watchers Points Plus How To Adjust Your Body To Exercise New: Weight Watchers Momentum Program New: PEERtrainer Blog Archive Review Of The New Weight Watchers Momentum Program		Weight Loss Motivation by Joshua Wayne: Why Simple Goal Setting Is Not Enough How To Delay Short Term Gratification How To Stay Motivated How To Exercise With A Busy Schedule
Real World Nutrition and Fitness Questions Can Weight Lifting Help You Lose Weight? Are Protein Drinks Safe? Nutrition As Medicine?		Everyday Weight Loss Tips How To Eat Healthy At A Party How To Eat Out And Still Lose Weight The Three Bite Rule Tips On How To Stop A Binge