Have I become an "Eat Clean Nazi"?

Over the last 5 years, other than a few brief "off-the-wagon" stints, we have been buying only healthy foods. If the kids (teenagers) want swwets and junk, I don't stop them, but they have to go to the corner store themselves to get it, and preferrably not bring it in the house. It really has become a lifestyle for us.

Last night my MIL wrote out a recipe for my 16 year old daughter to try. Skor bars, she called them. Saltine crackers, butter, brown sugar and chocolate chips. And she knowingly instructed me to make sure to buy the milk chocolate chips, the normal ones are too bitter.

I had trouble figuring out what to say. IMy sister-in-law immediately added that she bakes every Friday, and her kids love it. I got the distinct feeling that I was a bad mother for not baking sweets and treats.

I haven't given my daughter the recipe yet. I'm not sure that I can really let her make a pan of this stuff.

Are any of you there yet? How would you have responded?

Fri. Dec 7, 9:38pm

Seeing as I personally think you can eat sweets and eat healthy, then yes, it sounds like you might be an "eat clean nazi".

Life is still meant to be enjoyed. You let your kids buy junk. Why not make some sugary things with them instead so that they have less preservatives in them, and more likely real sugar instead of HFCS. If your kids learn how to make their own sweet things, they may buy less processed things down the road.

Plus, you can sub in healthier ingredients if you so desire, or know how.

Friday, December 7, 2007, 11:08 PM

You shouldn't feel like a bad mom for not baking sweets! You're doing the right thing for your family by caring for their health.

On the other hand, I don't think you need to completely ban sweets from your life. It's also kind of worrying that your kids eat junk outside the house. It sounds like they eat right in the house because they have to, but not because they've actually learned to eat healthy. That sort of thing leads to gorging on the bad stuff when they can.

Maybe you can do the recipe together and give most of it away to friends and family. That way you can enjoy making and eating it together without being too unhealthy.

Saturday, December 8, 2007, 12:19 AM

I don't think you're a "eat clean nazi". I take care of children and I would never dream of making that crap for them, or myself. Maybe you could find a recipe on line that would better suit your family's lifestyle. A sweet treat that is actually good for you.

Saturday, December 8, 2007, 8:19 AM

Thank you posters

OP here. This discussion is one that is important to me. I don't have much time left to influence my kids' eating habits. Plus, I'm wondering about the rest of my own life. Should I occasionally be allowing sweets in "on purpose"? Or am I trying to justify something I know to have no health benefits?

Criticisms (real or imagined) from my in-laws always hurt, but I'm not really worried that my kids are missing out. There are lots of ways to have fun with your kids beside baking with them.

In my circle of friends, I would definitely be classed as a zealot if I were to divulge how strict we try to be in terms of eating healthfully (dh is even more virtuous than I am). But am I unusual even in the PT community? No one else out there try to eat clean 24/7? (Operative word being try).

Saturday, December 8, 2007, 9:14 AM

I think the bigger picture is that having sweet treats is not necessarily bad, as long as they're treats in the sense that they are not everyday occurences. Like all those schools that now ban kids from bringing in cupcakes for birthdays - I think that's wrong because a birthday celebration is the right time to be eating cupcakes. Having one just because you're walking by a bakery is not.

Also, your rules are teaching your kids to be furtive about their bad eating habits, and we all know that forbidden fruit is always the sweetest. Maybe consider having snack-sized bags of baked Lays or similar in the house and see if that causes them to naturally cut back on trips to the corner shop for Doritos.

On a similar note, I know adults now who grew up on Diet Coke because that's all their mom allowed in the house, and that's what their taste buds adapted to. They hate the taste of regular Coke because it's not what they grew up with and reach for diet sodas because that's honestly what they want. On the flip side of that, I also know several adults (men, in case you think it matters) whose junk food consumption was severely restricted as kids and the moment they had their own money, that's what they spent it on. Now they're well into their 30s and eat Lucky Charms for breakfast, a dozen Oreos with their lunch, and hate vegetables so much that they take the lettuce off their Big Mac. They struggle with their weight.

Good luck figuring out how to handle this tricky area with your kids - I imagine it will be a few years yet before behavioral science has much to offer parents, but it's coming...

Saturday, December 8, 2007, 10:02 AM

I promise you're not alone. The other day I had a hard time finding bread that didn't contain high fructose corn syrup that didn't cost a fortune, so instead I baked some myself. I suggest finding a treat you can make from more healthy ingredients. For my own kids I make healthy oatmeal bars that have flaxseed and some dried fruit. I've had good luck finding healthy recipes on the internet. When you find a good one, send it to your in-laws and let THEM feel gulity for not making healthier food for their kids. :)

Saturday, December 8, 2007, 1:52 PM

You are hardly a "clean eat nazi". In fact, you should be getting great mom vibes when talking to these women because you're probably raising much healthier children. However, you can still let the kids have treats in the house and not worry about it. Invest in No Pudge brownies, they're rich, easy to make and very low in fat. Meringues are also great cookies to have around. Vegan desserts are also great alternatives to traditional desserts, I know a very good recipe for pumpkin pie made with tofu that is simply amazing and will fool everyone at the dinner table. Overall, I would NOT give my daughter the skor bar recipe and opt for a safer recipe instead.

Saturday, December 8, 2007, 2:13 PM

Mmmmm...those skor bars are sooooo good! It's been about 10 years since I had those things, but I do remember them.

Hmmm...how would I have responded? I think I would've been gracious and just said, 'Thank you! If she's ever in need of a sweets recipe I'll be sure and pass it along."

As far as the other interesting questions you pose, I see no reason to occasionally 'allow' sweets if it's not how you want to eat. You've given your children independence to make their own decisions about it outside of the house; if they want to indulge they have the freedom to do so (on their own), and I think that's a great way to go about it. It's when we get freaky and try and micromanage (any area of their life, not just their food) that rebellion is sure to occur!

It's interesting how other's eating habits put people on the defensive, as if one person's choice is a judgement against theirs. Of course, some people convey their choices that way (e.g., "I care about my kids, so I would NEVER, ______" fill in the blank), but other times I think people just want to put things out there b/c they're feeling defensive about what someone (who does differently) may be thinking (i.e., your MIL and SIL probably think you think they're bad moms for baking sweets!)

Saturday, December 8, 2007, 11:18 PM

Actually, I think you are doing great raising your kids the way you do, OP. And you know what, saltine crackers, butter, sugar and chocolate chips mixed up really does sound like a crap (fatty and tasty, but crap). Rather, buy a bucket of nice ice-cream, or chocolate, or something - ... simple and natural?

Saturday, December 8, 2007, 11:59 PM

There is nothing wrong with you not baking or wanting a clean lifestyle. You don't ban your kids from eating sweets or treats you just ask that they be responsible for getting them and not bring them in the house. I think the real question here is why are you so insistent to not allow any treats in the house? Is it that you have or had a weight problem or maybe a sweet tooth issue? Do you fear losing self control and think your able to go on a binge that won't stop?

Sunday, December 9, 2007, 2:42 AM

If you can figure out a way to teach your kids choose eating things in moderation rather than control what they eat, when they leave your home they will be more likely to follow those habits. If you strike a good balance, you can hopefully avoid the situation of my daughter's college roommate. She eats a BOWL of candy every day - I mean a bowl of reeses pieces or a bowl of candy corn, etc. Her mom was 'very strict' regarding food at home, and she's making her own choices for the first time now. GAHH - here come the 'freshman 15' with a vengence.

Sunday, December 9, 2007, 2:59 AM

so what you're saying is the only sweets your kids eat are processed things laden with additives and artificial sweetners they get from the store.

And you're not willing to show them how to make healthy sweet things at home.

May not sound nazi, but it seems rather silly and counter-intuitive to me.

Sunday, December 9, 2007, 6:48 PM

Wow! You guys all like to bake, huh.

OP here again.

I didn't do a great job in explaining my "eating junk food outside of the home" policy. Although it is my pat response, rarely do they actually make the trek to the corner store and buy junk. Most of the time they just accept the piece of fruit I offer them. Sometimes they will get a cookbook out and make something. I'm not convinced that if I were to bake regularly, their consumption of junk outside of the home would drop. In my view, I would just add to it. I have tried baking with whole wheat flour, and it generally doesn't work. We buy the unbleached flour, and yes, the ingredients are fresh, but generally baked goods are still bad nutrition. Plus, we eat much more of it than we would otherwise.

And I don't try to stop them from buying stuff outside the home because I don't want to try to control their every waking moment, just minimize temptation.

In terms of its affect, I am happy to say that it is generally good. Yes, occasionally they complain that they had spaghetti at someone's house and it wasn't whole wheat and there were no yucky vegetable chunks in the sauce, or they had Kraft Dinner or hot dogs or whatever else their friends are eating. And sometimes they complain there is nothing to snack on in the house besides fruit and nuts.

On the flip side, their friends come to our house and have never tried pomegranate or papaya, avocado or eggplant or sometimes even things like spinach or grapefruits.

Btw, I told my daughter about the recipe. She got all excited, saying that stuff is yummy (her aunt had made it a while back). We agreed that she would invite a friend over to make it with and send the leftovers home with her. But since that conversation, she seems to have forgotten about it and I'm not likely to bring it up.

Monday, December 10, 2007, 9:59 AM

OP - it sounds like you have a healthy lifestyle and a reasonable one. It's encouraging to hear that it can be done! I'm just starting out at being a parent (my son is 10 months), and we've totally changed our eating habits lately. I'm hoping that it'll make it easier for our kids to eat healthfully than it was for me. I grew up eating a lot of sweets and junk food and I still crave it, even though I know it's bad for me. I'm changing, but it's hard. Thank you for showing your kids what it means to eat properly and for showing us that it is possible!

Monday, December 10, 2007, 10:07 AM

I wonder if you could substitute something for the saltines - some sort of natural or whole grain crackers or even toasted whole grain toast. Just a thought. And the dark chocolate chips. The rest of the stuff doesn't sound un-"clean" to me, but, I don't eat clean, so I may be wrong.

Monday, December 10, 2007, 11:18 AM

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