Mon. Jan 1, 12:00am

that happened to me too... but because *gasp* i ate lean cusines for lunch to control my calorie intake and portions. ack! you'd think i'd have eaten a whole large pizza. and who cares if i had, ya know? it's my body to worry about not theirs.

Wednesday, October 10, 2007, 8:23 PM

I think the only time that group members should comment on other people's eating is if that person has specifically asked for that assistance: i.e. asked what suggestions others have for their eating habits, to lose more weight, etc. OR, if they say: help me avoid these trigger foods. Sorry you guys had bad experiences! I hope you find a better group.

Wednesday, October 10, 2007, 9:10 PM

In fact it would feel really good, OP. It's been discussed hundreds of times in the message boards here that there are different kinds of people, those who need to be patted on a shoulder for skipping that milkshake or pizza, and those who need to say they are jeopardizing their success (in either weight loss or maintenance) by eating crap. Then, of course we don't know a complete story. Was that a one time incident (and then the other poster was really mean, I agree) or was that a regular diet, or maybe a binge period?

Wednesday, October 10, 2007, 9:37 PM

i think the whole concept of joining a support group is to obtain feedback--good and/or bad--aboput one's behaviour. we come here and join a group to be accountable to others for the 'mistakes' or wrong choices that have not worked for us in the past and allow, even ask, others to check out what we're doing and explain what they do. we then offer each other constructive criticism or try to identify with what we've read or we can offer what we see as alternatives to the things that aren't working for each other. while i agree that tact is necessary, i also think the whole point of logging our food and joinging a group with others is so we can each gain a different perspective and maybe change our habits.

Thursday, October 11, 2007, 9:07 AM

what kind of feedback DO you expect from your group with regard to your food choices? do you ever give advice to other group members about their food choices? this is a fundamental part of the process for me.

Thursday, October 11, 2007, 10:23 AM

In my team there was a member that complained about some off topic discussions, saying that she objects them because they were not focused on weight loss. Then I looked at her log, most of the food she loged was junk food. Not too focused either. I haven't said anything, but I should've.

Thursday, October 11, 2007, 10:28 AM

When I first started here, I thought I was doing the best I could. But, a few group members pointed out things that I ate and made alternate suggestions, and although I was frusterated at first (i.e. - that could never fill me up, I thought!), suddenly, the weight started melting off, and I also found I was wrong - other foods would fill me up! My group members helped me to substitute high-calorie, low-content foods that made me hungry soon after, for lower-calorie, higher-content foods, and helped me to not only stop gaining weight, but to lose a good amount. If they had never commented on what I was eating, I'd still be gaining!!

And I'm not talking about eating, like, a whole pizza for a snack. More like a Lenders bagel for breakfast.

Thursday, October 11, 2007, 11:12 AM

new team: No comments required

This whole discussion is partly why I started a new team: No comments required.

Keep yourself accountable, see what's working or not for other people, but skip the stress of commenting or dealing with comments that aren't helpful to you. An oasis from the pressure while trying to get in the habit of keeping a food log. If comments come, great; if not, no worries either.

Join, don't join, comment, don't comment, eat it, don't eat it ... it's up to you.

Thursday, October 11, 2007, 11:19 AM

i have my own group of one until i'm at a point where i can respectfully listen to others' opinions about my food choices and exercise regime. right now, i'm still getting comfortable with my style changes and am trying to make a habit out of logging regularly---before i commit to doing so with and for others.

Thursday, October 11, 2007, 12:20 PM

Oh my, this is so counter productive. I'm in 3 wonderful groups and nobody has ever done anything like this. We are all so supportive of each other. Especially when someone strays. We offer positive reinforcement of the things they are doing well and tell them that tomorrow is another day. Start fresh tomorrow and don't feel guilty about what you did today, just keep moving towards the positive healthy lifestyle changes. How could anybody possibly succeed if the rest of the group members pick them apart? And to do that after someone has left the group is just petty.

I read on another thread that someone wants to get rid of one of their group members because that person isn't logging. That's really not nice. This isn't a game show where you can vote people off! And because I recently made a comment in one of my groups that it looked like I was the only one logging that day, I sure hope none of them think that thread was started by me. My dear friends, it's not my comment. I would never think of wanting any of you to leave.

Workinit

Thursday, October 11, 2007, 12:36 PM

Sometimes I need a good kick in the behind! Within reason, of course. One of my groups was started as a "you need to be accountable? Join this group and you'll get a thrashing if you cheat on your diet!" kind of thing, and it's good. Actually nobody is ever really nasty, but sometimes I need someone to say, hey, what's with the pizza every day for supper?

Thursday, October 11, 2007, 2:50 PM

OP...i'm pretty sure your point has been noted, but sometimes the convesation can continue without staying completely focused on the original topic. i think we're all in agreement that saying rude things about someone who is no longer part of the group is silly behaviour. but there are other relevant points that we're also addressing...

Thursday, October 11, 2007, 2:50 PM

i don't know. starting a thread about former group members, detailing their comments and then titling the thread "what jerks" sounds pretty much along the same lines as making fun of a former group member in the comments section of a group's log. dontcha think? people need to vent, sometimes.

Thursday, October 11, 2007, 3:31 PM

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