How do you get someone out of your group?

I started a group and there are 3 of us in it that fit the profile, log daily & offer constructive info and support each other in the comments section. The 4th person doesn't fit the profile, doesn't log, and only makes a short comment once a week. The comment is always weird and is annoying to the rest of us. How can we get this person to leave the group so someone who fits the group profile and is dedicated to the group goals can join us?

Mon. Oct 8, 7:09pm

if they are commenting and logging at all short of asking them tactfully to leave ,I dont think there is any way.

Monday, October 8, 2007, 7:17 PM

this may be a complete end-around, but can you start a new group with a slightly different name?

Monday, October 8, 2007, 7:18 PM

could you send them a private message & ask why they like being a member of the group since their personal profile & goals don't match the group profile & goals? or would that be too rude?

Monday, October 8, 2007, 7:40 PM

To the above poster, yes I personally think that would be rude. They might be getting something out of the group. That is why they are still there more than likely. Your best bet is to start a new group with the three of you.

Monday, October 8, 2007, 9:40 PM

Yikes I hope that this isn't the "last 5 pounds" group. I hadn't logged in for a while and realized I was probably just taking up space so I left the group today. I hope a more active member will take the empty spot soon!

-cranberry

Monday, October 8, 2007, 10:01 PM

I'm the OP & no it isn't that group you mentioned. I guess maybe the strange member is enjoying lurking & reading our posts/comments. Then to keep from being kicked off PT for not posting, he/she posts a really strange off topic sentence in the comments every week. We really don't want to abandon our group & create a whole new one. We have recipes and all kinds of cool stuff in our archived comments. I guess we'll just ignore it and hope for the best.

Monday, October 8, 2007, 11:19 PM

Why don't you just be honest and let them know you need a higher level of commtiment from them in order to be fair to the others in the group. Maybe the infrequent logger just needs some coaxing and encouragement. It is not very encouraging after all for the more active members to see blank spaces when they are all a part of that group for support and encouragement.

Tuesday, October 9, 2007, 5:15 AM

Wanting to get someone out of your group, and posting a message about it for everyone to see... Wow, that's really not nice. This isn't a game show where you can vote people off! And because I recently made a comment in one of my groups that it looked like I was the only one logging that day, I sure hope none of them think that this thread was started by me. My dear friends (you know who you are), this is not my comment. I would NEVER think of wanting any of you to leave. And I would never post a comment like this in such a public way.

Workinit

Thursday, October 11, 2007, 6:34 PM

I think this has been helpful. It has made me think about what I've been adding/not adding to the groups/teams I belong to. I've realized I need to be a bit more committed to a few groups I'm in or leave so that I can focus more on the groups I am active in. I think it's been a good, anoymous reminder to several of us.

Thursday, October 11, 2007, 7:13 PM

We do need to remember not to cheat our fellow group members. Thanks for the reminder

Friday, October 12, 2007, 2:02 PM

6:43 - the OP did not give any information that would let us know who seh was specifically talking about. I don't think this post is out of line at all.

I agree with 5:15. I do not think it is rude to ask someone to leave if they are not participating and do not meet the profile. Asked in the right way, it is not rude. In fact, I think starting another group on the side is more sneaky and rude.

It's perfectly reasnable to say that you are hoping for more interaction and if they cannot particate like eveyone else in the group, to please consider leaving so someone else can join. It's not fair for one person to get all the benefit and provide nothing in return.

Frankly if the person doesn't leave or start to participate more after such a request, I might send a note to PT to ask if there's a way to remove them.

Friday, October 12, 2007, 5:42 PM

start a new group.

Friday, October 12, 2007, 6:13 PM

Yes, you can start a new group, and send the other two "good" members of your current group a private message (in the comments field, highlight their name in the dropdown, instead of "everyone." You'll have to do it once for each of them.) Let them know what the new group is. Then once you've all joined the new group, you can all leave the first group, if you so choose.

Sunday, October 14, 2007, 4:16 PM

don't be so timid, just ask them to leave. tell them they are not holding up their end of the support and aren't logging or commenting enough and you all feel like you need someone else who fits the criteria. its very simple. tell them no hard feelings you all just want a more active, supportive person.

Sunday, October 14, 2007, 4:36 PM

or you can be a wuss and start a new group, make it private and invite the current active members you like and want to keep. but it still doesn't solve the issue of the person joining the group when she/he knows full well what everyone else wants or expects from her/him.

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