Why do I care what girls think??

I went out yesterday and showed up to a cafe not knowing how many other girls that I know would be there. I was not at my best, didn't have my hair done, no real makeup on and a less than flattering outfit. The other girls there seemed perfectly coiffed, really cute sweaters and I looked like a shlump. Why does it even matter though?

Mon. Oct 1, 10:54am

the way you described your "look" seems like you knew you were not dressed-to-the-nines even without comparing yourself to others. maybe seeing others your age just helped drive the point home? do you normally dress-up and wear make-up? do you usually fall short when comparing yourself to your peers? how do you think others perceived you?

Monday, October 1, 2007, 11:09 AM

Poster 10:54. I am guilty of doing the same thing. I always realize but then when I am getting ready to go meet with people again, I dress down again because I am thinking that even if I do dress up (makeup, etc) than I will still not be in the same class as them. I have yet to figure out how to combat it. I know it is from low self esteem though.

Monday, October 1, 2007, 12:34 PM

Note to self: if you're going anywhere, plan on seeing someone you know! It happens every time for me, hence I never leave the house w/o makeup, etc.

Monday, October 1, 2007, 12:42 PM

i don't even go grocery shopping without fresh hair and make up! i might run into someone i know--better yet, you just never know when you're going to run into Mr. or Mrs. Perfect!

Monday, October 1, 2007, 1:24 PM

I almost never wear makeup, and I don't do anything particularly special to my hair besides straighten it with a flat iron after it's air-dried.

But, I don't buy or keep clothes that are unflattering. So, even my comfy clothes are cute-ish. Solves the problem for me. And, as for the girls, I just don't care. If I'm out and they're all done up and I'm not, it usually means I spent time doing something productive while they primped.

Though, I do walk the dog every morning in my pajamas... Can't get much schlumpier than that!

Monday, October 1, 2007, 1:29 PM

I seem to remember hearing over and over again something about how we dress more for the approval/assessment/admiration of other women than for men. Sounds like the OP is a rebel (yay, I'm not alone!).

Monday, October 1, 2007, 2:33 PM

why do we care?

OP-- this is totaaaally normal. Not only is it natural to 'compare' ourselves with others, but I feel like as women, we do this more when we already know we are not at our best...(because then we are more likely to recognize other women who ARE at their best at that given time).

Even when i dont plan on (or happen to) see people i know, i feel like it all comes down to this: when i look like crap, i feel like crap. This does NOT mean that you have to be dressed to the nines or always have perfect makeup etc, but i feel like you automatically feel 'decent' if you look decent (ie: clean clothes, clean body, basic makeup/grooming, clothes that dont make you feel 'like a shlump')...

Monday, October 1, 2007, 4:00 PM

i think it's perceived as "normal" to others who do the same thing, but i don't think it's "normal" at all. i think it speaks to the self-esteem and self-image issues of the person who is in the position of the OP.

Monday, October 1, 2007, 4:17 PM

OP here. Thank you, I am normal after all. One thing that this has taught me is that I totally need cute comfy clothes.

Monday, October 1, 2007, 4:45 PM

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