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Fat Person Behavior

throwing away your candy wrapper in someone else's trash can at work. I just caught myself doing this!

Thu. Sep 20, 5:05pm

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burying chocolate bar wrappers in the garbage undersomething else so my husband doesn't see them...luckily I don't do this anymore!

Thursday, September 20, 2007, 5:10 PM

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I'm lazy, I just keep the wrappers in the back of a drawer in my desk.

Thursday, September 20, 2007, 5:41 PM

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Eating Snickers on the toilet in the public bathroom at work so no one can see.

Thursday, September 20, 2007, 6:23 PM

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Wow, I have done all of these things. The thing I have done that I am really ashamed of.........

going through the drive thru and ordering 2 value meals, so the teller thinks one is for someone else.... I have thrown away a lot of soda :(

Thursday, September 20, 2007, 6:53 PM

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i'm not so fat anymore

but I still do many of these things and more. Like throwing stuff away and then coming back for it-- gross I know, but I do this. So even if you have a long way to go, know that this stuff lingers...and lingers...

Thursday, September 20, 2007, 7:09 PM

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Eating food off my family's plates as I'm cleaning up after dinner - UGH.

Thursday, September 20, 2007, 7:25 PM

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Cutting myself two pieces of cake in the break room, acting like one is for someone else. Then eating one as quickly as possible on the way back to my desk so I only come back with one that I eat slowly around others. least I'm not alone.

Thursday, September 20, 2007, 8:06 PM

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ALl of these are despicable...ugh. From the other end of the spectrum, I used to prepare huge meals for my family and not eat a thing except for a can of tuna in water every day.

Friday, September 21, 2007, 9:12 AM

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i'd say these behaviours are more associated with shame-based feelings than with being fat. i'm sure there are fat people who do these things, but there are also skinny people who engage in the same behaviours. my very slender friend, for instance, always hides her "snack" wrappers and fast food packages. she'll deny even liking these foods. it's about self-esteem and shame and guilt and lack of a postive relationship with food.

Friday, September 21, 2007, 9:25 AM

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I have to say that, as a girl who has been overweight all her life, but never REALLY big, I have never heard of such things! The thought never crossed my mind that anyone would do these things. The "two slices of cake" thing and the eating on the toilet really surprised me. Neither of the posts suggested that the authors enjoyed the food that they were eating. It was the cake one that's really confused me because what I can't understand is, if the writer wanted plenty of cake, why not cut a bigger slice rather than two? No one really bats an eyelid. Shovelling it down your neck when walking back to your desk rather than sitting down and enjoying it indicates to me that the writer didn't really want the cake in the first place at all.

Friday, September 21, 2007, 9:53 AM

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it's a behaviour that seemingly allows one to control rather than be controlled. but only seemingly. one is still controlled by ones own demons in such cases.

Friday, September 21, 2007, 10:03 AM

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I agree that all this "fat person behavior" goes back to feelings of shame. I think what sucks the most is the way certain behaviors are percieved depending on whose doing it. Like-- with the cake issue-- its embarrassing if someone who could afford to lose weight (ie: a "fat person") takes a big piece of cake, but if someone tiny took a massive piece it would seem 'cute' or funny even.

I totally understand the taking two separate pieces over one big one. Ugh.

Friday, September 21, 2007, 10:41 AM

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God--I felt shamed just reading this thread. I have done some of those things, and am horrified just thinking about it now. I never ever want to be that person again, it's mortifying.

Friday, September 21, 2007, 1:10 PM

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some may be critical, but I think it does a person well to admit these things out loud, it helps us heal and not hide any longer - Thank you for sharing, best wishes.

Friday, September 21, 2007, 1:46 PM

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1041: I am the cake-taker. Thank you for understanding! I was starting to feel like maybe I WAS weird!

Friday, September 21, 2007, 1:47 PM

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Hey cake taker - you're not alone! I've done the same thing at home - have some cookies in the kitchen when no one's looking and then bring out a few to enjoy with the family in the living room.

Friday, September 21, 2007, 1:56 PM

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is the recognition of this behaviour concurrent with exemplifying it? or do you just realize what you've done after the fact? if you hadn't pondered your behaviour with respect to the topic, would you still be aware of your actions regarding same?

Friday, September 21, 2007, 2:01 PM

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2:01 - huh?

Friday, September 21, 2007, 4:26 PM

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um, do you knowingly engage in secret eating and in hiding evidence of having done so? or is this an evolved habit that "just happens" ? is there a conscious effort to hide the "treats" in hopes that others won't think or know that you eat that stuff? does the hiding alleviate the guilt or increase it?

Friday, September 21, 2007, 4:30 PM

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love the sarcastic, 'um'... it's shame based - how embarassing to eat 15 pieces of candy, 2 pieces of cake, 8 cookies, etc. Anything people do secretly whether it's eating, drinking, smoking, affairs, whatever - it's all based on shame, the fear of getting 'caught' and what others think, and there's a part that says, 'hey, if no one sees it, I don't have to own up to it, it doesn't count, etc.' To say behaviors just 'happen' is to deny responsibility - eating (or whatever) is a conscious choice - it's all done knowingly. It's the consequences that we don't think about in the moment. And, hiding only alleviates guilt in the moment. And when I say 'we' I mean 'me.' Don't know what others think.

Friday, September 21, 2007, 10:38 PM

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I'm free from this for now -- peertrainer has been awesome, but I've definitely done stuff like this in the past. For me at least, it wasn't a habit. There were just a few situations where I was very hungry or had a big craving and no desire to resist. All I wanted to do was to figure out how I could eat what I wanted to eat without suffering the judgement of others.

Saturday, September 22, 2007, 8:46 AM

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re: the above comment: ironic, isn't it.that the ultimate judgement we are all really hiding from comes from ourselves?

Monday, September 24, 2007, 8:35 AM

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I have hidden eating & then taking laxatives from my husband. If I go get fast food when he is not home, I will take the trash out to the trash bin outside. I also act like I am ordering for multiple people when at a drive thru. All of this is very occassional but still completely embarrasing. I've never shared this with anyone. I did finally admit taking laxatives to my husband & that seemed to free me from using them anymore.

Monday, September 24, 2007, 11:25 AM

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11.25, well done on the stopping with the laxatives. Purging in that manner is still purging, if you know what I'm saying...

Monday, September 24, 2007, 1:01 PM

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