After high school

I've been curious about this for a long time and wonder if it's really true. Well, I'm in my final year of college and I'll have a 5 year high school reunion probably two years from now. Now, in high school I was not popular at all, very shy, gained a bit of weight, heart broken, some mean people to me and elementary school was even worse. So is it true those "popular people" end up being losers after high school? Anyone have any stories? Thanks!

Sun. Sep 2, 3:50pm

Haha. Yea I think that is it mainly trye. I was always the geeky kid in elementary and high school. My clothes was aweful, I could not afford anything at all, I could not speak well, and people made fun of my huge forehead and buck teeth.

Recently, I was at a local grill restaurant with my boyfriend and I saw this girl there - she had been the most popular girl in school in 7th grade. She had gained weight, and her hair was scraggly, and she was a waitress there. I didn't even recognie her. SHe ended up coming up and waiting at my table, and told me she remembered me from school. She also mentioned that her friend, another popular girl, was working there with her.

I was surprised, but mostly because here I was, finishing college, looking mighty fine, if I do say so myself, and with a loving long-time boyfriend who took me out like every day to a new place -- and there was she. Fat, ugly, and a waitress.

Well, this is only one of my stories. I have seen a lot of the people I used to know, and I can say that 90% of the ones who were popular have become either fat, ugly, unsuccessful, or all three. THe people I have seemnwho were geeks, are now in great schools or have great jobs, and have grown into their looks, and look better than ever.

So yes, the theory is true!

Sunday, September 02, 2007, 4:41 PM

I just went to my 20 yr high school reunion. I was not picked on but pretty much left alone, I was sort of considered a slut and a stoner, lol, I think a lot of people would have thought I wouldn't have amounted to much. The girls I remember being really popular, stuck up and full of themselves and the guys who were jocks and very selective, I couldn't wait to find out how some of these people turned out. I have been in wholesale diamonds for over 10 years now and travel all over and make nice money, I've actually done better then I thought I would. I married an extremely intelligent and successful man and we have 2 beautiful children, a great relationship and a pretty fun life. Most of the people I couldn't wait to know what they've been doing turned out to be really disappointing. Most of them didn't go to college but then I didn't either but they are still living in the same area with no where jobs and they don't seem all to happy.

In reality who really cares about what those stuck up mean people think nowadays. I will say it was nice to walk in there knowing that even I felt good about what I've done and accomplished in my life.

Sunday, September 02, 2007, 4:42 PM

It's been ten years since my class graduated. I haven't been to a reunion but I've seen a lot of their Facebook or Friendster profiles. It looks like the people who were smart and popular in high school are doing just as well now and the losers are still losers.

Sunday, September 02, 2007, 6:21 PM

5 years isn't enough to establish loserdom. It's all about the 20th - who aged well, who's unhappily married/happily divorced, who's still living in their parents' basement...heh.

Sunday, September 02, 2007, 6:49 PM

6:49 LOL SO true!! And I say this having just returned from my own 20 year reunion.

Sunday, September 02, 2007, 7:09 PM

After 5 years, people still remember who they were friends with, who they disliked, who was popular or intimidating, and why.

You'll see where people are, but most people will likely have just finished school or will still be in school, so the differentiation won't have really occurred yet. Some, but not much. It is difficult to really be excelling at life a year out of college, or 5 years out of high school with no college degree. Possible, but unlikely.

At 10 years, the differentiation will be greater - who is married, who has kids, who has a successful career, etc.

Tuesday, September 04, 2007, 12:57 PM

I agree with teh above posters that there is a much more significant change after 10 years than after only 5. But that said, I found myself drawn to the less popular crowd at my 5 year renunion and even more so at my 10th.

I was actually in a pretty popular group in HS, but don't think I would qualify as stuck-up or into myself. But I did discover that I was picking friends based on the wrong criteria. It was refreshing to go to my 5th and connect with some of the classmates who I overlooked in HS.

I think I developed the confidence in college that allowed me to choose more wisely. Also, the less popular kids tended to be the more interesting adults.

Tuesday, September 04, 2007, 1:08 PM

5 year reunion isn't going to be much different than high school was. Wait for the 10 or 20 yr reunion. My school didn't even have a 5 yr reunion and I was in labor with my 5th child durring my 10 yr and really, I don't know if I'll even go to the 20. Maybe my 50 yr reunion or something. I'm from a small town and those who I care about I still e-mail and the rest I don't care if I ever see again. I was one of the kids who had friends in every click but was so busy with work, family, and sports that I wasn't involved in the typical high school drama.

Tuesday, September 04, 2007, 5:07 PM

To Sunday 4:41...I appreciate what you're saying, but many very intelligent, interesting & fun people work in the service industry. Especially, since you said that you were just finishing up college. I worked my way through college as a server at a restaurant & I was always afraid (in the back of my mind) that people would think that was all I was doing. I live in a pretty big city though, so most of us in the restauant scene were here for school. Now, I make pretty decent money, am in grad. school & recently got married. I was on the homecoming court in high school, but never would call myself popular (who does that?) I guess I just wanted to say that just because your peers from high school might be on a different track doesn't mean that they are losers in the long run.

Tuesday, September 04, 2007, 6:15 PM

I'm on the far side of my 20th and I don't think this holds true.

I wasn't a loser in high school but I was definitely on the bottom of the popularity scale (high school kids aren't exactly the best predictors of "loserdom"). I was smart and talented but not liked. Some of the popular kids were also smart and talented, and others were just partyers with tons of strut.

More than years later, most of us are doing pretty well. In the "yearbook" published for our 20th, only a couple still seemed to have a stupid high-school mentality; three are in jail (none were popular but they weren't all outcasts either); most have families, marriages, good-looking kids. There are a handful of divorces, too, though the divorced classmates seem to be doing all right.

Some of the girls that were the bane of my high school existence have had experiences I wouldn't have wished on them. One snotty popular girl had a severely handicapped son who has turned out to be a continuing miracle in her life as he learns and grows and overcomes his obstacles. I'd love to sit down and talk with her now.

Of course, some kids are unaccounted for; who knows what happened to them.

But for the most part, high schoolers grow up--whether they were popular, snooty, mocked, ridiculed, well-liked or not. College is a great equalizer--the social structure is so different from that of high school that it's very difficult for the same cliquish patterns to develop, and there are more opportunities to connect with people.

Tuesday, September 04, 2007, 7:56 PM

I had my 10 year reunion a year ago and it was a pretty good experience. I was somewhat popular in high school but was definitly not the most popular. I have known a few of the popular people...especialy the guys....that did not do too much with their life and still spend most of thier nights out at bars. But for the most part the people that I thought would be successful ended up being successful. Also after 10 years, most people grew up and there were not really the cliques that there used to be. Pretty much everyone talked to everyone and we had a good time. But that was just my experience.

Thursday, September 06, 2007, 11:16 AM

Answer to: After High School

Yes, it almost always turns out to be true. I was ridiculed by some of the "popular kids" in HS-(Dr. Jose M. Lazaro, Puerto Rico, Class '77). I was called giraffe, spaghetti, etc... The prom was even more painful. Was hardly spoken to by any of them.
I recently joined facebook and saw many pics of these "Pop kids" today. Most women: fat & ugly; Most men: ESPECIALLY the most popular were almost bald, fat and ugly.
Now, I don't know if I am in shape because I am retired military and have never smoked nor drinked, but I look at myself and see the geek is beautiful today. And, I am successful too! Who knew! For some reason, it makes me glad I wasn't part of that crowd.

I bet that some of these "pop kids" are either on welfare, or with bad credit, or dead-end jobs, or divorced, or living with their parents, and NO PLACE, on their way to NOWHERE; but I don't know what phenomenon brings them to this.

My assumption is that maybe once they're gone from HS, no one is catering to them anymore, so they are either discouraged when they know the world for the first time. Thus, ending their free ride!

Another conclusion I have reached is that popular kids make their own perception that they're the "It" thing. By making themselves sparse, or that by making their own strong click, they create the perception that they're interesting. In talking to these people today, I have found that:
1. They're boring
2. A phenomenon because the only change is their age, body and face
3. A sad commentary on themselves
4. A sad statistic

So, I removed myself from Facebook and live in the real world. Full of my successful friends and family and enjoying life to the fullest. Afterall, is it really important that some of these guys accept me? Not at all.

This about this for a second: if you are successful after you remove yourself from a painful situation, why would you want to go back and take ten steps back?

Not me!

Margarita

Friday, March 20, 2009, 1:39 PM

7:56 - Nice post

And that's a great phrase you came up with there: A "stupid high-school mentality" is exactly what exists when one is concerned about who is a "loser" or a "winner," whether five years, ten years or twenty years on.

Saturday, March 21, 2009, 8:42 AM

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