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..Helping an alcoholic recover..

my boyfriend is an alcoholic and wants to get better ...
i have info about detox at home, but I want to hear from anyone else who have either been an alcoholic themselves, or who have helped an alcoholic. What worked for you? How did you stay sober? Any help and suggestions would be appreciated.

Sat. Aug 11, 9:46pm

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This is a big subject and I am shocked no one has weighed in on it. I am a recovering addict, 16 years clean now. Although my addiction wasn't alcohol its all the same, an addiction. The first thing he should do is find some sort of support. I am not a believer in AA or 12-steps, their success rate is really low. But there are other programs out there, one that sticks out in my mind is called Lifering Recovery. What worked for me was my belief in MYSELF and the knowledge that I hated who I was and what I had become, and the fact that I knew that if I didn't stop how I was living there would only be 2 options for me, jail or death. I simply removed myself from everything and everyone I knew. I moved to a different state, thats the only way I knew I would make it. If he really wants to be sober he'll do it for himself, but if he's doing it to please someone it might not work. Just be strong and know that its going to be hard for him and will always be hard. How often does he drink and how many years has this been going on?

Sunday, August 12, 2007, 1:47 AM

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thanx for giving me some insight :)
he's been drinking pretty heavily for about 6 years now...pretty much every night he drinks...and his tolerence is so high that he can handle a whole bottle of vodka...
he's been to rehab 3 times and he's always relapsed...
he just told me the other night how he wants to get sober so bad, but how hard it is..
he really wants it, but how is he going to get it? especially if rehab doesnt seem to work..??

Sunday, August 12, 2007, 3:34 PM

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Alcoholism sucks. Detox at home when he is drinking that much can kill him. I would HIGHLY advise against it. He can go into major seizures. It is not pretty. He will not be able to do it on his own. There is nothing you can do to help other than be supportive and not co-dependent. Read "Co Dependent No more" Very good read. Also, "Getting them Sober" all volumes. Those volumes are actually better than Co-Dependent no more. If he wants it, there is a way. He has to REALLY want it and be committed to changing his life. You cannot change it for him and so many people living with alcoholics want to make those changes for an addict. It's not possible. He knows the route. Give him information. Tell him you care. But ultimately it is his decision. Good luck to you.

By the way, if I knew then what I know now about addiction, I would have never stuck with someone I was not married to at the time. My ex husband went to rehab the first time while we were dating and got clean. Then I married him. Stastics say you are in for a LONG hard road with an alcoholic. It can change everything about you and your being. Not fun... I am ten years later now just trying to get my life back on track and I don't trust anyone. It sucks. I am not saying this will definately happen, but chances are good he could relapse again and again. It's an addiction, an illness.

Sunday, August 12, 2007, 3:55 PM

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Hello Great to hear your boyfriends is getting help it can be a long hard road but with help is also a very learning experience. My husband did the aa thing which works but the group he was with just wanted to go out to eat or coffee after every meeting.Sometimes not home until 3am just seems to me they were still avoiding the family and substituting coffe for beer and not being home at all. We are sober 8 years now you can do it help each other Its a great big beautiful world out there try excercise or gardning youll find something you ike to do.Take it day by day and soon itll be weeks then mounths then about your feelings you are allowed to have them and they are not stupid they are your feelings. Best of luck youll be in our prayers that also is a huge help

Sunday, August 19, 2007, 7:50 PM

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bump- more fodder for the addiction thread.

Monday, August 20, 2007, 4:52 PM

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If he has a doctor, he should call him or her and get into a detox facility. As someone else said, detox at home can kill a person if they have been drinking that much every day.

You should look into alanon for yourself or at least read everything you can find on the internet or in bookstores.

Whatever you do, don't marry him.

Monday, August 20, 2007, 10:19 PM

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