husbands/boyfriends

Does anyone have this situation....I have in the past started a diet and started doing really good. I will drop weight, start feeling good about me and then I get a "look" or a "word" if I eat or tast a bite of something not good for me. This time, along with my new eating...healthy except for a "bite" here or there...I am now very much in to running both on our elliptical and outside. I have been doing great for 2 mo, my longest ever and really the exercise part is a first for me. I am proud of myself I have lost a good amount of weight and inches. (down 2 sizes)...but I sometimes need to have the "break" where I at least taste something yummy or I will binge. I guess, I wonder if it's just me that I have a man that is that watchful and makes me feel like I am terrible because I "cheated", not what I call it, I exercise 5 days aweek and think I deserve every now and then to have something specail. He works out w/weights and is tall so he hides his "bad" spots easy. I am short so mine all stick out. He has his beer on his guy/sports outings...that is big time cals. but I would never give him a look or say anything. My down fall is a sweet every now and then. So isn't the same thing? I need to let it go...and not fall into my old habits where I feel bad, and go off because of the feelings I get. So instead I am going to go for a walk right now to cool off vs. taking in a sweet after we already had dinner out and I had my "bite" of sweets off my sons plate.
Am I alone?

Fri. Jul 20, 9:46pm

We've all been there. 1st, congratulations for dropping 2 sizes and for keeping this up for a couple of months! Diet and exercise is hard and making it a part of our normal routine is an awesome thing! Your man probably has seen you working so hard and being careful of every bite that he is probably surprised when he sees you eating something "naughty"! (remember you can have the naughty things, just not all the time! it's okay to have a little once in a while or you will binge!)

My boyfriend-whom i live with will ask me occasionally "are you hungry?" when i eat certain things. I pretty much told him to do that, by explaining how screwed up I am about food, yet I still get upset or offended when he does that. He means well and he's trying to help, despite the wrath he may get from me afterwards!! Don't feel bad about your boyfriend's looks when you eat-he's really probably looking out for you and doesn't mean to be offensive! If it bothers you that much, explain to him why you are having just a "taste" and explain that it makes you feel bad when he looks at you like that. He may have no clue that he looks so judgemental.

Hang in there! It sounds as if you are doing great!

Friday, July 20, 2007, 10:18 PM

My bf is the exact same way!
He actually thinks he is doing me a favor by saying stiff like that. Like it will motivate me to stay on the bandwagon. And who knows, maybe it does?
Just tell his not to say anything anymore .

Saturday, July 21, 2007, 10:20 PM

I call it the diet police and its very frustrating, hello you don’t think I know I shouldn’t be eating it, the last person I want to hear it from is the one person I want to be proud of me and I get defensive. I think sometimes we set ourselves up for this response from them, how many times do we start a diet only to gain the weight back, how often do we talk about dieting but never follow through so when they see us doing well they want to encourage us but it usually comes out wrong. Here’s what my husband and I do we’ve set up a realistic expectation upfront, its called a free day, 1 day a week we can eat what ever we want (within reason) so if I’m craving Mexican food I wait till the weekend and we have a date night. I also find that it satisfies me and I make sure I don’t eat the whole thing it’s helped me stay on track during the week and there’s no guilt put on me from myself or my husband and its back on track the next day. This works I’ve lost a lot of weight and the free day hasn’t been an issue for me it’s actually helped me stay on track.

Sunday, July 22, 2007, 3:44 AM

Just tell him to shut up and dont worry about what you are eating!!! Thats what i told my husband. But you have to no longer include him in your weight loss journey.

Sunday, July 22, 2007, 9:47 AM

I'm sure you're not alone. And good for you for not turning back to old habits to deal with this frustration. It sounds like you have a sound strategy for weight loss that includes exercise, healthful eating and the occasional, portion controlled indulgence! AND it's working for you. I think you're right, it's not 'cheating', it's balance without deprivation. Keep it up and know that you're doing great!

Sunday, July 22, 2007, 10:26 AM

OP here.....Thanks everyone! I can't kick him out of my routine. He is the one that has helped me w/exercise and has taught me it's good. Now I am really enjoying it and it's a great way to get rid of extra stress. I just have a hard time seeing him enjoy his extras...when my extras are very far between and I have learned to not over eat anymore. I am proud of myself. I have done the diet a 100 times before but this is a first for me...changing my life...eating healthy (except for a bite now and then) and exercise at least 6 days a week!
wish me luck we leave for vacation I can't wait to see what is said there!

Sunday, July 22, 2007, 10:52 AM

i think he's looking after you and "helping" monitor your habits because if you fail or fall short and get regretful about the little snacks you're allowing yourself, you will be miserable, not just yourself, but to those around you. maybe he doesn't want you to go through the feelings of guilt and perhaps give up entirely. maybe you're just a niocer, more pleasant person to be around when you are eating well and feeling good (aren't we all nicer to be around then?!) i guess i'm saying, maybe his intentions are all good ones. maybe suggest that, since you've had a little treat, he could help you "work some of it off", if you know what i mean. then he might even look forward to your snacks, too.

Monday, July 23, 2007, 8:53 AM

Just in general, I think it really helps to not look at weightloss in terms of particular foods, but instead in terms of calories/week. As long as it's within your calorie budget, a tiny treat should not bring on a remark.

Monday, July 23, 2007, 9:09 AM

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