jack sprat...

So... I need to loose about 30 pounds. My husband, however, is very slender. Losing weight would be unhealthy for him. This morning he told me that he is hungry all the time. I have told him not to deprive himself just because I'm watching my portion sizes, but "just eat more" is working about as well for him as "just eat less" was for me. Is anyone else on peer trainer in this situation? how do you deal with it? My husband and I both enjoy cooking and sharing meals, so I'm trying to come up with things we can make that will work for both of us.

(ps - for those of you wondering about the subject, there's an old nursery rhyme that goes "Jack Sprat could eat no fat/his wife could eat no lean/and so betwixt the two of them/they licked the platter clean")

Thu. Dec 8, 3:51pm

YUP!

My BF and I are the same way. Sometimes, because I'm picky, I will prepare meals seperately for myself and him, but generally, I choose healthy, well-balanced meals the two of us can enjoy. Only I eat less, and tend to skip the pasta and/or rice, if it's part of the dish. Even if it's unhealthy for him to lose weight, he should still eat healthfully to avoid blood pressure, clogged arteries, or diabetes issues.

Thursday, December 8, 2005, 3:56 PM

I do the same! My fiance and I cook often, and when we do, we tend to cook pretty healthy - fish or chicken, with some sort of veggie, and some sort of sauce. I always dish out the food though, and he always gets more on his plate than I do - the bigger piece of meat, an extra scoop or two of whatever, etc. Last night, we had leftovers from a crock pot meal, and he ate twice as much as me. Sure, I could've eaten more, but I didn't need to. And we made rice pilaf a couple nights ago; he ate some on the side last night, I skipped it entirely. But I can pass up rice pretty easily!!

Sometimes we'll make real mashed potatoes. We make them, and I take out a small scoop for me, and then add more butter for better flavor for him. It takes an extra 5 seconds, but it works!

My fiance also loves "parmesan-crusted" steak - so on the occasion that we make steak, we cover his in parmesan cheese. I skip the parmesan on mine - though I think it sounds good, it's not necessary.

In the morning, we sometimes have turkey sausage links with our breakfast; the package has 10 links. When we make it, I eat 2 links and he eats 3. Same goes for turkey bacon. It's good to get in protein, and we just serve it differently. Sometimes we'll make eggs and need two pans, b/c it's hard to make 4 eggs in 1 pan. So I cook mine in PAM and he cooks his in butter, b/c he likes the flavor and I won't waste the calories.

In the past bunch of months, he's gained about 3-4 lbs, and I've lost about 5lbs. My goal is for him to outweigh me by at least 20 lbs! And to maintain that forever! Right now we're 16 apartlll (I'm 122 and he's 138! And he's 7" taller than me!)

Also, he likes snack food - tortilla chips and nutter butters and jelly beans in particular. He buys them all and keeps them on the highest shelf of the pantry, where I can't reach w/o a stool and, most importantly, can't see, so it doesn't occur to me to eat them. Then he eats the junk when he feels like it. He also eats a lot of granola bars and string cheese between meals, when he's hungry. I skip the snacking.

Hope some of this helps!!

Thursday, December 8, 2005, 4:24 PM

a suggestion and a plea for help

Everything I've read in this thread rings true for me, too! And I've found that portion size is the main thing that I have to work on. I use all the tricks:

-eat off a smaller plate
-focus on getting veggies to fill up as much of your plate as possible
-your protein should be approximately the same size as your palm
-try to skip the rice/pasta, or make it the smallest section on your plate
-wait a while after round one to let yourself feel how full you are
-bring leftovers for lunch the next day so you don't feel cheated out of tasty seconds

It also helps me to think that my bf should be eating about twice as much as I do. This is most noticable at breakfast - my bf eats two egg sandwhiches to my one, and 6 slices of turkey bacon to my 3. I'm just working on applying that easy visual to all the other meals.

Now my question: how do you keep yourself from snacking with your fiance when you see him eating it? I like the idea of keeping things on the top shelf where you can't see them (I'm going to try it!), and I do ok even when they're on the bottom shelf as long as the bf isn't actually consuming any. But my bf often eats ice cream after work, and it's one of my biggest weaknesses. If he's eating some, I almost always have some even when I'm trying to make ice cream a special treat instead of an every day habit. How do I remain strong???

~B

Thursday, December 8, 2005, 5:15 PM

I often snack along with my fiance too, which isn't good, but I try and remind myself the thing about portion size - that he should be eating way more of it than me. And since eating junk isn't a "special treat" to him, he'll actually just eat what he wants and put it away, like it's nothing. So eating half as much as him really isn't much! Besides, if he's snacking on something that's single-serving sized (like string cheese or a granola bar, rather than pulling out a bag of chips) it's easy to just not go grab one. As for ice cream, why not just have a bite of his? Don't make your own bowl. I'm sure he'll share a bite or two, and then you're getting a taste but not many calories.

Friday, December 9, 2005, 10:58 AM

I'm 3" taller than my boyfriend, so this can be hard for me. He's fairly slim and I probably weigh a good 100 lbs more than him. Right now, I genuinely need to eat more calories than he does. So when he eats more than I do (especially bready stuff) it's hard for me. I've worked on eating less or the same as him at meals, and he's obnoxiously good about eating the leftovers before I get a chance. I do crave (and eat) sweets like chocolate more. Working on it though...

Friday, December 9, 2005, 1:06 PM

Just curious, why do you say that you genuinely need to eat more than he does? Are you training for something athletic? Or do you just mean that you're genuinely hungry? If it's not something athletic, you don't need to eat more than he does because you're trying to lose weight and he isn't. If it's because you're hungry, examine what you're eating. Do you eat enough fats and fiber? Or do you eat mostly "bready" foods? Carbohydrates will fill your tummy immediately, but you'll be hungry very quickly afterwards. Try to cut back on that food because it turns to fat quickly, and you'll end up taking in more calories just b/c you're hungry more often. Try to add more fiber and healthy fats. Try thinking about eating "differently" rather than "less." If he eats a big bowl of pasta, you eat a bigger bowl of spinach salad w/ lean protein like tuna or chicken.

Friday, December 9, 2005, 3:37 PM

I need to eat more because my dietary calorie needs (even while dieting) are higher than his. Plus I don't eat meat, and he does, so the food I do eat has less calorie density. So it's annoying when he pigs out on bread and other carbs and I can't.

Friday, December 9, 2005, 4:52 PM

OP here. Since I posted this we've tried eating separate breakfasts (the only meal we don't eat together) - eggs for him, oatmeal for me. That's helped some. We're still struggling with dinner though - If we make soemthing that's low-calorie (eg veggie soup and stir-fried greens) he needs to eat 2-3 helpings. If we make something more calorie dense (chicken and rice pilaf) my portion is so small that I don't feel full. Any suggestions for meals that fall in between ?

Monday, December 12, 2005, 1:27 PM

To the OP

Add calorie dense food to his plate -

Taco night? He gets extra full fat cheese and avocado.
Baked potato night? You get ff sour cream and chives, he gets cheddar and bacon.
Veggie soup night but his gets a sausage link and grated parmesan?

Are there simple additional ingredients you can just ADD to his plate without you feeling horribly deprived?

Monday, December 12, 2005, 2:09 PM

Why not combine the meals you listed above? Chicken breast stir-fried with greens and other veggies, or veggie soup cooked with rice and a few chunks of beef? Even 2-3 helpings of just veggies doesn't sound like enough for a guy to eat. Or a girl. There's no protein or fat, which is a crucial part of every diet.

Rice pilaf, by nature, is unhealthy, especially if it's from one of those boxes w/ the powdered sauce. Try brown rice instead, way cheaper and fewer calories, but more filling and far healthier.

Monday, December 12, 2005, 4:19 PM

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