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Advice about helping a grieving widow !

OK it is going on the 2ond year my siaster is still a mess how can I hekp

Mon. Jul 2, 9:23pm

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Lots of love and understanding. 24/7 availablility for her to cry - and never ever ever suggest there's a time limit on her grief (I know you aren't doing that - just some advice from when my dad died)

It wasn't for the best, he wasn't old, etc (yes. he was 75, had cancer, but to us, he was ageless and superman, etc...)

I feel so sorry for her. My thoughts go to her.

Monday, July 02, 2007, 9:29 PM

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I think just being there and listening to her and comforting her is all you really can do. Maybe suggest looking at photos or home movies if you have them, talk about him with fondness and talk about funny times you had. Its never easy to deal with grief and it comes and goes in waves. There is no time limit on it and we all get on with our lives the only way we know how to.

My father died of cancer also. Its been 13 years and I still miss him BUT I realized years ago that he will always be with me, I will always hear his laugh and voice in my mind, I will always be able to envision his hand movements when he talks, the way his eyes twinkled whenever he smiled and even the way he could so easily affect anyone in a room when he entered. I see him in myself, my sister and oddly enough my daughter who has never met him. I although I feel sad and would give anything to spend one more day with him I am so glad he is all around me.

Monday, July 02, 2007, 10:49 PM

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here is a poem that helps Me when I lose loved ones

Do not stand at my grave and weep
I am not there; I do not sleep.
I am a thousand winds that blow,
I am the diamond glints on snow,
I am the sun on ripened grain,
I am the gentle autumn rain.
When you awaken in the morning's hush
I am the swift uplifting rush
Of quiet birds in circled flight.
I am the soft stars that shine at night.
Do not stand at my grave and cry,
I am not there; I did not die.

I know its hard when you lose somoene you love, but like the one poster siad. they live on.. their memories dont die. you hold them inside your heart.

thier lessons they taught you about life. how to live life to the fullest.

thier smiles .. thier actions .. how you are as a person for having them be a part of your life..

as long as you keep their memory alive. they will always be arround you.

Tuesday, July 03, 2007, 12:54 AM

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I adore that poem. I've seen that before and it actually helps me a lot.

Tuesday, July 03, 2007, 7:06 AM

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it has helped me alot to. thats why I wanted to share it with the ones that are dealing with losing a loved one right now. My best friend showed it to Me when we first met I was grieving over the loss of My cousin. He said He had something to share with Me and I have pulled strength from it many times since.

Tuesday, July 03, 2007, 8:21 PM

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Tuesday, July 03, 2007, 11:21 PM

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