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The Significant other...

So I wanna know if any of you have had problems with your signifcant other saying something mean or hurtful about your size or weight. I thought about it while watching a NutriSystem commericial where the girl says "My husband jokingly calls me his trophy wife"

Thu. Jun 28, 10:06pm

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i personally don't have this problem-- husband has his own weight issues, and is always very supportive of me.
BUT it always amazes me when spouses act like this, ESPECIALLY when they themselves are obviously overweight! see it on talk shows all the time. it's such a transparent attempt to unload your own crap all over someone else. sad.

Thursday, June 28, 2007, 10:32 PM

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Funny because just the other day my husband took a picture of my son. He was sitting on the floor in front of my chair, and when I looked at the pic I realized my butt was in it. I said jokingly to him, "Thanks for getting my butt in the picture." To which he said, "Well if it wasn't so big." Thanks honey, that's why you won't be seein it later...

Thursday, June 28, 2007, 10:37 PM

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Tuesday, July 03, 2007, 11:15 PM

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hurtful S.O.

yeah, he has been mean, but i think mostly he does it in a (mistaken) attempt to help me. guys are different about these things.

Sunday, July 08, 2007, 6:39 PM

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My dh told me that he didn't love me anymore, nor was he attracted to me anymore due to the weight I gained after having 2 kids. Nice, huh.

Sunday, July 08, 2007, 9:54 PM

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My husband has always said really nice things to me, like how he notices that I'm losing weight. However, I had a relative who hasn't seen me in a few years say something to me today. She is the type of person that usually has a mean underlying tone. I was explaining to someone how much weight I have lost, and she said, "I thought it looked like you lost a lot of weight". Most of the time, that is a compliment. But from her, a thought popped in my head, "How big did she think I was before??".

Sunday, July 08, 2007, 9:58 PM

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My husband said something once in 25 years thinking it was a joke .When he saw how upset I was he never said another thing. I gained alot of weight over the years The last time we selpt together He told me he loved my body! I am so blessed. I know I am !

Sunday, July 08, 2007, 10:05 PM

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Lets face it ladies most men are wired differently, they are sexual beings and part of it is from sight, I myself have often thought how shallow, I’m still the same person you married, but when I take a good look at it and point the finger back at myself I’m not, (never been a stick) but when I was thinner I was a different person, I laughed and joked with him I was more fun to be around we were companions and went and did things together (in public) we enjoyed each others company and enjoyed fooling around ok had sex, I was his partner in every since of the word, but as the weight came on, I became more withdrawn, I was embarrassed I didn’t want to look at my body so why would he, I was self conscious and now only wanted to fool around in the dark (remember guys are sexual visual beings) I couldn’t wait for it to be over, for all I know he took it as a personal affront. I rarely want to go out anymore because I’m embarrassed and feel like everyone is looking at me, nothing fits right I make every excuse in the book. And how many diets have I tried? You name it I’ve probably tried it and if I think back at the first few tries my husband was very supportive why wouldn’t he be, he wanted his real wife back, not the withdrawn never smiling self conscious person I became, and after several failed attempts I think he gave up, why wouldn’t he… I DID… I think sometimes we need to put the shoe on the other foot and look at it from another perspective it’s not always about I in a relationship it needs to be about we and the good news you’re here at peertrainer and most people here are here to support you, you can do it and it’s time to stop thinking about it and start doing it and after a few months when our partners start to see a difference it might just be what they need to believe again and start giving the support we so desperately need from them, just a thought…

Monday, July 09, 2007, 12:14 PM

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What is that saying; women say what they feel where men say what they think. Or the saying; truth hurts. I’m lucky I know my family loves and wants the best for me and every once in a while something comes out that I know is not meant to hurt my feelings but I tend to take it personally and being over weight only makes me more self conscious magnifying my sensitivity to certain comments.

DON’T WAIT TO ACT FIRST AND DON’T WAIT TO FEEL POWERFUL OR CONFIDNET. MOVE AHEAD IN YOUR WEAKNESS, DOING THE RIGHT THING IN SPITE OF YOUR FEARS AND FEELINGS. I read this today and it reminded me that I need to stop expecting others to provide me with the empowerment or confidence I think I need or deserve, it’s helpful but ultimately I’m the one accountable for my own actions and will have to suffer the consequences of a sedentary overweight life. I more then know what I need to do and you probably do to, so lets stop blaming others, quit making excuses (which I’m good at) and just do it!

Monday, July 09, 2007, 12:38 PM

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that is not a mean statement

I hope you do realize being called a trophy wife is a good thing.

Monday, July 09, 2007, 8:08 PM

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My boyfriend told me "You're not fat yeeet, but you're getting there". Oh, and sometimes he calls be chunky. Also, he makes comments when I eat, like I should not be eating. But he has his own issues with weight, and I always make fun of him.

Monday, July 09, 2007, 10:35 PM

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sounds like a fun & supportive relationship lol

Tuesday, July 10, 2007, 1:22 PM

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I agree with 12:14. Very good points.

And I have to say that if my husband gained 100 pounds I probably wouldn't be as attracted to him. And if I gained 100 pounds I KNOW he wouldn't be as sexually attracted to me. That isn't the woman he married so I take pride in my healthy fit body, for me AND for my husband.

Tuesday, July 10, 2007, 1:45 PM

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i think i would dread my daily life if my husband was still the same guy i married. i have grown and changed, "evolved" if you will, into quite a different person than i was 9 years ago. my habits are different, my self awareness has improved, i am more spiritual, i define love much differently than i did when i first was married. we wmbrace the changes we see each other going through and the changes we have gone through as a couple. saying nasty things to the person you have committed to is more of a reflection of the person saying those things than any characteristic or physical trait of the recipient of harsh words.

Tuesday, July 10, 2007, 2:01 PM

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I've lost a bit of weight, and I look good, but I did not look bad before, so I am not too sensitive, and thought this was a funny slip of tongue, and was not offended, but here's a conversation that happened on Sunday at our pool:

Me: I'm glad I lost that weight before we moved to this building with this pool!
Hubby: Yeah, I can't blame you!!

The pool at our new building is full of all these buff, fratty guys, and a lot of gilrs who think they're very trendy, but really are mostly heavier than I am now, and also heavier than I was before! I actually have one of the best female bodies at our pool. Hubby is pretty skinny - not that he has a bad body at all, but, he'll never be capable of being fratty-buff! The comment was really just him having a brain-to-mouth-minus-filter moment!

Tuesday, July 10, 2007, 5:09 PM

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