CommunityBrowse groupsBlogEtiquetteInvite Your friendsSuccess Stories


O.T. Personal

Where to start with this...My husband and I are coming up on our 1st year anniversary. After beginning our relationship four and a half years ago, our once fun & passionate sex life has fizzled. Of course, there have been a variety of stressful events in our lives that could dampen desires. Mainly, right now, I just do not feel the fire. I began taking anti-anxiety medication last summer & it has surely affect my sex drive. The medication is REALLY helping me get a handle on my anxiety & depression issues after MANY years of trying to cope & change my behaviors naturally. I really feel like the medication helps to change a physical & chemical inbalance & do not want to stop taking the meds yet. While my husband & I are very affectionate with each other & we both find each other very attractive--- I just feel all that sexy or "turned on". We cannot continue like this though, because as you can imagine, it is important to communicate on a sexual & intimate level. I LOVE my husband & want him to feel sexy & appreciated. Has anyone with anxiety & depressive issues found a way to deal with this medication side effect? I want my passionate sex back!!! Thank you for your kind & understanding responses !

Tue. Jun 26, 8:59am

Add comment  
Sometimes you have to work at creating the right environment. It is more about connecting than anything else.
Try a bath with nice smelling bath oil, candles and rose petals, music and wine. Of course lingerie is always good, it doesn't need to be trampy - sometimes wearing something silky can put you in the right mood. Massage oils (for both of you) take your turns, and if you are still having difficulty getting going try K Y warming tingle gel.

Tuesday, June 26, 2007, 9:11 AM

Add comment
My husband and I get stuck in ruts where it's the same old, same old over and over again. I found the best way to change things up is to talk to him and tell him how I feel. We just had a talk last friday about how to improve things, and we had a weekend of great sex. Try having an honest discussion with your husband and tell him how you're feeling. I'm sure he'll be willing to do anything to improve the situation for both of you.

Tuesday, June 26, 2007, 9:39 AM

Add comment
Sometimes it's hard to get into the mood unless you get into 'it'. Yep - even if I'm not feelin' it I'll just go with the affectionate mood and then, even though I was sure that i wasn't in the mood - I find myself enjoying things immensely. However that's not always the case in which case I usually take care of things for my husband - either with a 'complete' massage or orally. Something that really helps though is when he backs off and I get the chance to seduce him! When it's more my idea and not him snuggling up in the hopes that it'll lead to something (cause his drive is higher than mine and it's hard to be in the mood when you feel pressured all the time) I'm much more likely to feel mischevious. We've both had to work on open communication to make sure both of us are having our need for physical contact and intimacy met.

Other things that help.....
*Getting a good nights sleep - regularly
*Being in shape (pilates has really helped my ability to control those lower ab muscles and I'm less self-concious and more likely to feel like sex if I feel good about myself)
*Talking - go for a walk with him and just talk
*Dating - plan a regular time to be alone and romantic together
*Self-awareness - the more you know what pleases you, the more you can ask for it, so make sure to take the time to really explore each other's bodies.

Although it's not directly comparable I went through a period of several months after an accident where we couldn't have sex and once I got back on the road to health it was hard getting back into it (plus I was nervous about the effect it would have on me physically), but with time, patience, exploration and perseverance we have our sex life back and it's worth the effort. Keep putting effort into it, but don't force things too much - Best wishes!

Tuesday, June 26, 2007, 10:17 AM

Add comment
Have you talked with your doctor about looking at other meds? I'm not really a success story because my sex drive has been diminished for ages because of meds, but I know that it is worth it to see what other options there are for you.....

Tuesday, June 26, 2007, 11:50 AM

Add comment
Talk your doctor about alternate drugs. There are many different types of drugs that treat the same or similar conditions.

Also, plenty of exercise might help and it might also boost the positive effects of the medication.

Tuesday, June 26, 2007, 12:25 PM

Add comment
Similar Problem

I have been dating and living with my boyfriend for almost 9 months now and the other day I was really upset about our sex life. When he asked me what was wrong I told him that I was tired of having to ask him for sex. I want him to initiate it once in a while and to show he is interested. He said he understood and that he would be more affectionate and suprise me once in a while. Since that talk he has barely touched me. I feel gross like he has completely lost all interest in me. The few times he has teased me or touched me he stopped once I was turned on and whent to sleep or watched TV. Is this him just being cruel???

Tuesday, June 26, 2007, 12:26 PM

Add comment
Yes - The same thing happened to me

My libido was null after taking anti-anxiety meds. I did not want that to happen for the sake of our relationship (I've been married 14 years)... so my doc switched my medication.

I had fabulous results with the new med... but over the past year my doc has increased the dosage because my stress/anxiety levels had gone up dramatically. On the low dosage, I had no sexual problems or libido problems. Now on this higher dosage, I have my sex drive -- but I cannot climax. It is awful! I mentioned this to my doctor and she didn't want to reduce the meds... so I am switching to someone different to get another opinion.

I guess my suggestion would be to talk to your doctor. There are lots of different kinds of meds out there -- each one can affect you differently. Not all anti-depression or anti-anxiety meds will hurt your sex life. And you are right for being concerned.

Hope that helps!

Tuesday, June 26, 2007, 7:20 PM

Add comment

Thank you everyone, for your great responses, help & advice. I guess I need to schedule an appointment...I hate the thought of switching my meds again...the ups & downs & different side effects...but I'm guessing that may be necessary. I'm just feeling so down & frustrated about all of this!
Thank you all.

Tuesday, June 26, 2007, 7:42 PM

Add comment

Related Content:

How To Lose Weight- The Basics
Weight Watchers Points System
The Fat Smash Diet
The Eat To Live Diet
The Beck Diet Solution
How To Get The Motivation To Lose Weight


How To Be Successful Using PEERtrainer

How To Burn Fat
Online Weight Loss Support- How It Works
Does Green Tea Help You Lose Weight?
Tips On Using PEERtrainer
Visit The PEERtrainer Community
Diet and Fitness Resources


Weight Watchers Meetings
Learning To Inspire Others: You Already Are
Writing Down Your Daily Workouts
Spending Money On A Personal Trainer?
How I Became A Marathon Runner


Preventive Health

How To Prevent Injuries During Your Workout
Flu Season: Should You Take The Flu Shot?
Are You Really Ready To Start PEERtrainer?
Super Foods That Can Boost Your Energy
Reversing Disease Through Nutrition

New Diet and Fitness Articles:

Weight Watchers Points Plus
How To Adjust Your Body To Exercise
New: Weight Watchers Momentum Program
New: PEERtrainer Blog Archive
Review Of The New Weight Watchers Momentum Program

Weight Loss Motivation by Joshua Wayne:

Why Simple Goal Setting Is Not Enough
How To Delay Short Term Gratification
How To Stay Motivated
How To Exercise With A Busy Schedule

Real World Nutrition and Fitness Questions

Can Weight Lifting Help You Lose Weight?
Are Protein Drinks Safe?
Nutrition As Medicine?

Everyday Weight Loss Tips

How To Eat Healthy At A Party
How To Eat Out And Still Lose Weight
The Three Bite Rule
Tips On How To Stop A Binge