CommunityBrowse groupsBlogEtiquetteInvite Your friendsSuccess Stories

Lounge
Community 


Pictures Dilemma, need advise!! UGH!

I have a dilemma. I am sooo self conscious about having my picture taken. I went out with high school friends I haven't seen in so long and they took a picture of me with a few other female friends. Of course, I am the only BIG one standing next to girls ranging from 110-150 lbs which is normal to very thin. I am WELL over 200 thanks to my poor eating habits, lack of exercise, and a bad divorce. The one friend (a good guy friend) said he was going to post this picture on his myspace. All of our friends see this; even the friends I haven't seen in fifteen years. I look so horrible. I felt like crap after seeing this picture. I look like a cow. It's the last thing I want everyone seeing; especially friends who link to his site from mine and so on. I am working so hard to change the way I look. Is it appropriate to ask him not to put it up or is that just way out of line? He knows how I feel about myself right now and I don't think he would be offended, but I don't want to sound like a total idiot either. Thanks in advance for the feedback.

Sun. Jun 24, 5:23pm

Add comment  
I don't have any real advice...just a thought. I have been mortified by pictures of myself too so I read your story with real compassion. My first thought is maybe a good place to start is to try to find things in that picture that you love about yourself. Maybe it won't be about how you look initially but you are surrounded by friends who wanted to spend time with you. There are stories like that that will come forward as you look at the picure. Your hair, your eyes, other features will come forward.

Sounds like you have gone through a rough stretch and a little self love is in order.

Another way of approaching this (if you are comfortable) is to tell someone you love and trust who is OK around weight issues about your dilemma and both of you can look at the picture together and talk about it.

That picture is your starting place...you can move forward from it. You have what it takes to make some changes in how you inhabit your body. That person is in that picture. She needs your recognition and love.

Sunday, June 24, 2007, 8:04 PM

Add comment
Good comment previous poster!
Im not the OP but i also share a dislike and sometimes hate for myself in pictures! I recently posted pictures online and now that i have a son, i feel like the focus is off me. Everyone will look at him in the picture and not focus on me- or so i tell myself ;) When i began to post pictures, i would try to just look at the things i liked about the picture until i began to be ok with how i looked in the picture.......OP,, please try this technique, it works! ou are beautiful no matter what size and you are working to become a better you. Stay positive !

Sunday, June 24, 2007, 10:45 PM

Add comment
I don't think it's inappropriate to ask. Surely there are other pictures he can use. If someone asked me to please, please not post a photo for all to see I wouldn't think twice about it. It's not like this is something of great importance - it's myspace!

Sunday, June 24, 2007, 11:20 PM

Add comment

You:

"Hey friend, you know I'm not feeling great lately, and I've recently started to do something about it, so could you cut me a little slack and leave the photos off your myspace."

Friend:

"yeah, sure, no problem."

You:

"great. thanks."

End of problem!

Monday, June 25, 2007, 12:21 AM

Add comment
I don't have advice, but I totally know what you mean. I've put on more than 30 pounds within 6 years on my 5'2'' frame and I absolutely hate taking pictures. That's why on my Facebook I the pic of me is of me far away lol. My goal is to one day put up an amazing, slimmer pic of me so that former classmates and any others who see that pic think "Wow" lol. But it's still a long process; I have such a hard time losing weight. But one day I'll reach my goal...one day lol.

Oh, and if your friend is understanding, then I bet it shouldn't be a problem. Good luck!

Monday, June 25, 2007, 12:37 AM

Add comment
OP here... I asked him and he said some kind things and didn't post the picture! I appreciated the feedback. I just wanted to make sure it wasn't completely inappropriate to ask! Sometimes my own issues about how I look can be kinda crazy! LOL, imagine that!!! :)

Wednesday, June 27, 2007, 9:49 PM

Add comment
Congrats!!! Now just keep working on your goals, and then next year you'll be dying for him to take pics and post them! Just imagine how amazing that is going to feel.


Wednesday, June 27, 2007, 10:36 PM

Add comment
Are you purposely trying to erase yourself from your friends? NO, do not ask him not to post it because you feel ashamed of how you look. He wants to post a pic of HIS FRIENDS, you included. Instead use that pic and how you feel as motivation so next time you see those friends, or ones you haven't seen who might see the pic can say "DAMN YOU LOOK GREAT"

I understand how it makes you feel. I wouldn't take pics with my child because I hated the way I look. By doing that I have no pics of me with her when she was little, how very sad for the price of vanity. But the one I do have has been my motivation to lose the weight. I have lost 33 pounds in the last year and have 20 more to go. In fact what you should do is ask for a copy of it and tape it to a mirror or the scale, so you have that constant reminder of why you are working so hard.

Thursday, June 28, 2007, 2:39 AM

Add comment








Related Content:

How To Lose Weight- The Basics
Weight Watchers Points System
The Fat Smash Diet
The Eat To Live Diet
The Beck Diet Solution
How To Get The Motivation To Lose Weight

 

How To Be Successful Using PEERtrainer

How To Burn Fat
Online Weight Loss Support- How It Works
Does Green Tea Help You Lose Weight?
Tips On Using PEERtrainer
Visit The PEERtrainer Community
Diet and Fitness Resources

Fitness

Weight Watchers Meetings
Learning To Inspire Others: You Already Are
Writing Down Your Daily Workouts
Spending Money On A Personal Trainer?
How I Became A Marathon Runner

 

Preventive Health

How To Prevent Injuries During Your Workout
Flu Season: Should You Take The Flu Shot?
Are You Really Ready To Start PEERtrainer?
Super Foods That Can Boost Your Energy
Reversing Disease Through Nutrition

New Diet and Fitness Articles:

Weight Watchers Points Plus
How To Adjust Your Body To Exercise
New: Weight Watchers Momentum Program
New: PEERtrainer Blog Archive
Review Of The New Weight Watchers Momentum Program
 

Weight Loss Motivation by Joshua Wayne:

Why Simple Goal Setting Is Not Enough
How To Delay Short Term Gratification
How To Stay Motivated
How To Exercise With A Busy Schedule

Real World Nutrition and Fitness Questions

Can Weight Lifting Help You Lose Weight?
Are Protein Drinks Safe?
Nutrition As Medicine?
 

Everyday Weight Loss Tips

How To Eat Healthy At A Party
How To Eat Out And Still Lose Weight
The Three Bite Rule
Tips On How To Stop A Binge