Pictures Dilemma, need advise!! UGH!

I have a dilemma. I am sooo self conscious about having my picture taken. I went out with high school friends I haven't seen in so long and they took a picture of me with a few other female friends. Of course, I am the only BIG one standing next to girls ranging from 110-150 lbs which is normal to very thin. I am WELL over 200 thanks to my poor eating habits, lack of exercise, and a bad divorce. The one friend (a good guy friend) said he was going to post this picture on his myspace. All of our friends see this; even the friends I haven't seen in fifteen years. I look so horrible. I felt like crap after seeing this picture. I look like a cow. It's the last thing I want everyone seeing; especially friends who link to his site from mine and so on. I am working so hard to change the way I look. Is it appropriate to ask him not to put it up or is that just way out of line? He knows how I feel about myself right now and I don't think he would be offended, but I don't want to sound like a total idiot either. Thanks in advance for the feedback.

Sun. Jun 24, 5:23pm

I don't have any real advice...just a thought. I have been mortified by pictures of myself too so I read your story with real compassion. My first thought is maybe a good place to start is to try to find things in that picture that you love about yourself. Maybe it won't be about how you look initially but you are surrounded by friends who wanted to spend time with you. There are stories like that that will come forward as you look at the picure. Your hair, your eyes, other features will come forward.

Sounds like you have gone through a rough stretch and a little self love is in order.

Another way of approaching this (if you are comfortable) is to tell someone you love and trust who is OK around weight issues about your dilemma and both of you can look at the picture together and talk about it.

That picture is your starting place...you can move forward from it. You have what it takes to make some changes in how you inhabit your body. That person is in that picture. She needs your recognition and love.

Sunday, June 24, 2007, 8:04 PM

Good comment previous poster!
Im not the OP but i also share a dislike and sometimes hate for myself in pictures! I recently posted pictures online and now that i have a son, i feel like the focus is off me. Everyone will look at him in the picture and not focus on me- or so i tell myself ;) When i began to post pictures, i would try to just look at the things i liked about the picture until i began to be ok with how i looked in the picture.......OP,, please try this technique, it works! ou are beautiful no matter what size and you are working to become a better you. Stay positive !

Sunday, June 24, 2007, 10:45 PM

I don't think it's inappropriate to ask. Surely there are other pictures he can use. If someone asked me to please, please not post a photo for all to see I wouldn't think twice about it. It's not like this is something of great importance - it's myspace!

Sunday, June 24, 2007, 11:20 PM

You:

"Hey friend, you know I'm not feeling great lately, and I've recently started to do something about it, so could you cut me a little slack and leave the photos off your myspace."

Friend:

"yeah, sure, no problem."

You:

"great. thanks."

End of problem!

Monday, June 25, 2007, 12:21 AM

I don't have advice, but I totally know what you mean. I've put on more than 30 pounds within 6 years on my 5'2'' frame and I absolutely hate taking pictures. That's why on my Facebook I the pic of me is of me far away lol. My goal is to one day put up an amazing, slimmer pic of me so that former classmates and any others who see that pic think "Wow" lol. But it's still a long process; I have such a hard time losing weight. But one day I'll reach my goal...one day lol.

Oh, and if your friend is understanding, then I bet it shouldn't be a problem. Good luck!

Monday, June 25, 2007, 12:37 AM

OP here... I asked him and he said some kind things and didn't post the picture! I appreciated the feedback. I just wanted to make sure it wasn't completely inappropriate to ask! Sometimes my own issues about how I look can be kinda crazy! LOL, imagine that!!! :)

Wednesday, June 27, 2007, 9:49 PM

Congrats!!! Now just keep working on your goals, and then next year you'll be dying for him to take pics and post them! Just imagine how amazing that is going to feel.

Wednesday, June 27, 2007, 10:36 PM

Are you purposely trying to erase yourself from your friends? NO, do not ask him not to post it because you feel ashamed of how you look. He wants to post a pic of HIS FRIENDS, you included. Instead use that pic and how you feel as motivation so next time you see those friends, or ones you haven't seen who might see the pic can say "DAMN YOU LOOK GREAT"

I understand how it makes you feel. I wouldn't take pics with my child because I hated the way I look. By doing that I have no pics of me with her when she was little, how very sad for the price of vanity. But the one I do have has been my motivation to lose the weight. I have lost 33 pounds in the last year and have 20 more to go. In fact what you should do is ask for a copy of it and tape it to a mirror or the scale, so you have that constant reminder of why you are working so hard.

Thursday, June 28, 2007, 2:39 AM

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