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pros and cons of being attractive

yeah, what a shallow post, but seriously, good looking people have it tough too.

c'mon, confess gorgeous!

Wed. Jun 13, 2:53pm

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how about sharing your thoughts on the subject, OP?

Wednesday, June 13, 2007, 3:01 PM

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The pro is, well, you're attractive. I don't really see a con. Why would you want to be unattractive? I know sometimes people say they like to "hide behind their unattractiveness so they aren't noticed," but I don't really understand that viewpoint. If you don't want to be hit on by slimey guys, that's one thing, but that's controllable by just not displaying your "assets" in an overt manner. You can be attractive but still present yourself modestly. I really can't see any disadvantages!

Wednesday, June 13, 2007, 4:06 PM

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very subjective, you assume you are attractive.

Wednesday, June 13, 2007, 4:10 PM

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Attractive or unattractive, you get attention from slimeballs. It's just a matter of how many slimeballs.

Wednesday, June 13, 2007, 4:25 PM

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to the OP

FYI: one needn't be "good-looking" to be attractive.

Wednesday, June 13, 2007, 4:26 PM

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It is strange life sometimes when you do dress "modestly" & act "modestly" & still generate some pretty annoying attention. Of course, it is nice to have SOME attention, but there is a point where it becomes unnerving. Women can be very cruel sometimes. I have actually noticed a difference in how women treat me & look at me. When I have 15 extra pound on my body, I swear they are so much more friendly. When I am in shape, I get ALOT more of the cold shoulder & the whole up & down looky thing that we do. I actually decided to track it & pay close attention to how others reacted just simply in the women's restroom at restaurants & bars. Whether heavier or not I would try to give off a pleasant vibe & see how others reacted. I'm telling you there was a big difference! Anybody else noticed this?

Wednesday, June 13, 2007, 4:32 PM

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Agree with you 4:32. Women are less nice. You smile and try to be chatty / friendly at the checkout line and you get a very chilly reception.

The other one is if you are walking past a woman and her husband / boyfriend is the glare you get from the woman, a glare that almost says "don't look at him or I will freeze you directly into hell". I never make I contact with the man !! Its weird.

And finally ....... aquaintances who think that "oh there is no way you can have any problems in the world - you're too pretty"

Wednesday, June 13, 2007, 4:42 PM

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absolutely 4:32! i just smile and stay cheery regardless.

i've also noticed something else- now that i'm in shape and feeling better about myself i've been noticing more and more glances from men. but that part that really weirds me out is that they give me the up and down looky or they won't break eye contact unless to look at my toots, all this right in front of my husband. he doesn't care (i think it makes him feel good that his wife is attractive) but it just seems brazen to me that they do this.

Wednesday, June 13, 2007, 4:50 PM

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4:32 again here, I know!!! My husband & one of my good guy friends (who happens to be gay) has noticed how men & women react. My husband has even commented that it must be weird to go through the day w/ men breakin neck to check us (women) out constantly. My guy friend, has said that he has noticed so many death stares from other women toward me. He asked my husband how he can stand not wanting to punch other guys out for inappropriate "checkin out" I go out of my way to be nice to other women & sometimes basically have to ignore men or they will try to initiate unsolicited advances. Geeze, this all sounds pretty concieted. I'm truly not...I've just been frustrated by all this for awhile & pt is such a great place to share & vent w/like minds! Thank you!

Wednesday, June 13, 2007, 5:04 PM

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Ugly girls get hit on too!?!?

Wednesday, June 13, 2007, 7:54 PM

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I'm an attractive person. Well that is an understatement. I'm frickin hot! AND intelligent :)

Getting in the door just based on my looks
I have always had a date
I love the feeling of walking into a room and all eyes are on me

The upkeep, while I'm naturally pretty, I feel pressured to always look good
I get hit on all the time which is annoying
Women hate me, I swear they do! I have a few very close friends who are also really attractive, but it's hard to make friends since I usually just get the up and down look and glare from women.

Wednesday, June 13, 2007, 8:41 PM

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What a ridiculous post. We all have days we feel "attractive" and we all have days we don't. nuff said!!!

Wednesday, June 13, 2007, 8:48 PM

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Ugly girls get hit on too?!?!
What's that supposed to mean? I do think that everybody is beautiful to someone...& truly guys will check out anything!!! I think it is so funny when I crawl to the grocery store in my sweats after a work out & some guy is sayin "hey baby, you look good" ! teehee!

Wednesday, June 13, 2007, 9:59 PM

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I do have to say (and I consider myself "average")--when my sister insisted I get my hair cut in New York, I came back to work the following week and had several men open the door for me-- which hadn't happened in the 3 years prior at that building. I attribute it to my haircut.... It was a bit weird for me since I was not used to any attention from men (other than my hubby).

Another thing-- what is attractive to 1 person isn't necessarily attractive to soemone else.

Throughout high school, I always felt like I was awkward and not terribly attractive. I had (as my mom constantly reminded me "thick legs" like my dad...) When I went to college, all of a sudden, men AND women (and in particular African American and Latino men & women) would often ask me "Wow, nice legs! How did you get your legs so muscular?" At first, I was rather embarrassed--having grown up in a community of overly thin white women--I was an Asian American woman with a "thick" body (well, at the time, I thought it was "thick"--now, of course, I wish I had that body back).

However, as I grew older, my self-image and self-confidence matured... Now, I just smile and let people know that I was blessed by my dad. My mom, to this day, doesn't understand all of the attention I get, but I just let her know that I'm proud of my daddy's legs... (I'm truly daddy's girl!) However, I still wouldn't categorize myself as "good looking"....

So, anyways, what I'm trying to say is that beauty is in the eye of the beholder. One person's beauty is another's plain...part of it has to do with culture and ethnicity--- some cultures look only at facial beauty, while others admire physical strength, or intellegence or other attributes...

Personally, I could do without people objectifying me based on my face only... there is so much more to me! I prefer to see a person's internal beauty - there are some people whose actions truly speak louder than their looks and are personally beautiful inside, without necessarily having exterior beauty.....I'm not sure I could handle someone judging me only by my facial attractiveness!

Thursday, June 14, 2007, 1:09 AM

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I feel terribly conceited for assuming I'm "attractive" (though I don't think I'm ugly!)

.... but one thing I've noticed is that people assume that attractive people are popular, social, and confident. For instance, other girls always think I'm giving them the cold shoulder, when really I'm just a social retard!

Thursday, June 14, 2007, 1:51 AM

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I agree with 1:51. People automatically assume you're stuck up if you're pretty but too shy to talk. ;p

Thursday, June 14, 2007, 10:26 AM

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YEP! Very true.

Thursday, June 14, 2007, 11:01 AM

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if you're not considered conventionally pretty and you're also shy, people tend to think you're a b*tch because you're angry about being ugly or fat or skinny or freckled or whatever. or they think you're jealous. we ALL have it tough out there sometimes!

Thursday, June 14, 2007, 11:09 AM

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I wouldn't consider myself GORGEOUS, but I don't think I'm ugly either. I think EVERYONE has some pretty things about them, and some not-so-pretty.

But, I have noticed a difference just based on when I weigh a little less, have my hair straightened, or even wear nice eye makeup (I have black hair and green eyes).

a) Women become nastier. Even the women you already knew.
b) Guys find new excuses to talk to you. Really lame ones, too.
c) Girls that you consider pretty take the compliment the wrong way.
d) If you're talkative a outgoing naturally (I am), people automatically think you're being "fake".

I think people just need to stop ASSUMING about people based on their appearance (pretty/ugly/average/whatever) and start actually getting to know people.

Thursday, June 14, 2007, 1:14 PM

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The criticism that always gets me is that she can't be pretty and smart.
Just because you are attractive does not mean you are an airhead.

Thursday, June 14, 2007, 1:19 PM

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11.14 poster back.. and I agree! I'm not conceited, but do consider myself at least pretty, and at the same time I go to the top high school in my area. Whenever people ask me where I go to school, and I reply to them, I always get the "YOU GO THERE!?" attitutde.

It's as if in order to be smart, you need to look like some animal. Jeez.

Thursday, June 14, 2007, 1:37 PM

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1:19 again.

I went to an all girls private school (not a catholic school), a private school where you had to be academically advanced to even merit an interview, and graduated in the top 5% of my class.

Thursday, June 14, 2007, 1:43 PM

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i'd like to think,
there is something beautiful about everyone

isn't it about shining your energy out to the world,
in a way, that your eyes shine,
and, show everyone there is a heart at home ???


Tuesday, June 19, 2007, 7:23 PM

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oh, yea.

How about all the creeps who beep at you in their car, scaring the sh*t out of you, because they are like 4 feet away! The kissy faces nasty old men make, even young boys whistling. Its disgousting, and I have feeling objectified like this. Oh - how about this - what about when a guy talks about how pretty you are around your friends - who are forced to stand around and feel bad. That is aweful!!

Tuesday, June 19, 2007, 8:11 PM

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haha that reminds me of one time I was leaving Denny's in my PJs and this guy right as I was pulling out of my parking space honked at me...and flashed his lights. I looked at the car and thought i recognized it.

Maybe someone I knew?

So I pulled around only to find out it was some sleazy guy who wanted my number.


it was rather amusing (not getting picked up while in my PJs), but how confused I was and how I had false hope that it was an old friend i knew! :p

Thursday, June 21, 2007, 11:33 AM

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I'm not sure if I'm that attractive because I'm way too introverted. All I know is, at 5'3" and 107 pounds, guys seem to like my body a whole lot more than they did when I was 125 pounds. I swear, there are just so many differences in the way they act towards me now. This is a "con" for me because I'd grown comfortable with my role as a wallflower over the years as a slightly chubby girl and am having a lot of trouble getting used to the increase in attention. Most of them continue to be so pleasant to me even though I know I treat them like crap, because I'm engaged and don't want their attention.

The pros? I've heard that women are hostile to slim women, but that is contrary to my experience so far. Since I've lost weight, I've noticed that women in general automatically give me respect, and many seem eager to befriend me, especially the more attractive and confident ones. I did notice ONE woman giving me the death stare but I can't be sure if she didn't like the way I was dressed, my race, or what. All I knew was that I was out with my boyfriend, she was with hers, and we just happened to be walking past them when I noticed her eyes were just fastened on me with a grim expression on her face while clinging to her man. She was a little overweight though so most people would probably say she was jealous of my weight. But I know other women who are overweight and they are nice to me.

Another pro is that my mom is no longer telling me to lose weight. She used to constantly tell me to lose weight, that the extra weight made me look older.

Tuesday, June 26, 2007, 7:25 PM

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