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Husband cooks fatty foods and complains I gain weight

Well I love the fact that my husband of 10 yrs loves to cook dinner just about every night for me and our 3 kids but he makes really fatty foods. Lot of deep fried and high carb foods. Latly he has been complaining that I don't execise enough and that I'm "packing on the pounds" I recently gave birth to our third child and have gained some weight from the pregnancy that I have not lost. Our daughter is five months old and it was my 3rd c-section so working out for the first couple of months was impossible and forbidden by my doctor. I told him that I would just start cooking for myself but he takes it as such a personal insult he really loves to cook and feels it is his contribution to the household. I really don't know what to do I try to eat healthy all day long just to have it ruined at dinner time and finding the time to exercise with 2 kids and a newborn are next to impossible. Any suggestion or comments to help would be really appriciated...


Fri. Jun 8, 2:17pm

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smaller portions will help. i think it's irrelevant that he takes it as an insult that you prefer healthier foods. why should his feelings come before yours? apparently, your both looking out for him. who looks after you? put yourself first when it comes to your health, not his ego or contributions.

Friday, June 08, 2007, 2:21 PM

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Tell him you can either eat what he makes or lose weight, but it is totally up to him. He needs to understand that you can't do both. Has he considered using lower - fat ingredients?

Friday, June 08, 2007, 2:37 PM

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Show your husband this post. i really don't know how to put it any better. If he's really that good of a cook then it's a worthy challenge of his culinary skills to make healthful food that tastes great for the whole family.

In many ways I relate to your husband. I do most of the cooking, and it didn't used to be very wholesome. At any rate - I do consider myself to be pretty good in the kitchen, and I get enough compliments that I don't think that's just vanity. when I decided I needed to lose weight part of the issue was that I didn't want to give up the fatty, rich foods I loved. But I said to myself - "You are a good cook, and you can find ways to cook meals with lots of veggies that are both healthy and tasty." And with some research and experimentation (my husband was a trooper) I was able to come up with a good repetoire of healthful, tasty meals. There is some nurturing part of me that loves cooking for my family and cooking healthfully has only enhanced the satisfaction I get out of watching them enjoy my cooking. I would try to enlist your husband's help in this way if possible. Good luck and best wishes!

Friday, June 08, 2007, 2:39 PM

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I'M NOT SURE WHY YOU HAVE NOT EXPRESSED CONCERN ABOUT YOUR KIDS' DIET IF YOUR HUSBAND'S FOOD IS FATTY AND CARB-LADEN. sorry about the caps! how about buying (or borrowing) some new cookbooks that stress healthy ingredients as well as healthy cooking techniques? if he is insistent upon being the meal preparer, he should have the patience for learning how to keep his family healthy! i would eat smaller protions if you keep eating the meals he prepares.

Friday, June 08, 2007, 2:59 PM

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look, if someone was smoking in your house and then complained that your smokers' cough was bothersome, would you put up with it? better question is, are you unhappy with yourself or are you happy but don't want to put up with his insults? it's really your own choice whether or not you decide to eat the foods he prepares. doesn't he care that he's not making healthy meals for his family? if he really wants to contribute to the household, he should be cooking healthy foods!

Friday, June 08, 2007, 3:20 PM

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I am sorry to say it this way but it sounds like the two of you are enabling each other. Perfectly understandable that you would have weight to lose after 3 kids, but it sounds like he wants to love you with food and you love being loved that way- you just don't love the pounds.
Supplement what he makes with other things on your plate. Salad in a bag along with the fried chicken and a small scoop pf mashed potatoes, for example. Lots of fresh fruit with one pancake and 2 slices of bacon, as another.
You can balance the two, you just have to decide what is right for you.
And you'll have to deal with the "Mommy's on a diet" comments, too.
You both, unfortunately, can't have it both ways.

Friday, June 08, 2007, 10:36 PM

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Get rid of him..

... and find a new husband who is a personal trainer, who cooks healthy, and who encourages you instead of nagging you for gaining weight.

Or, go see a nutritionist together along with a marriage counselor

Saturday, June 09, 2007, 12:37 AM

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would your husband appreciate new cooking books, or a subscription to cooking light?

Saturday, June 09, 2007, 7:37 AM

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no not really he see's nothing wrong since our kids and him do not have weight issues. But he is a bike cop and rides around on a bike 8 hours a day 5 days a week not to mention all the road cycling and mtn. biking he does on his days off. He claims what you eat has nothing to do with how much you weigh you just have to burn it off.

Saturday, June 09, 2007, 3:30 PM

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Your comment really gave me a lot to think about I do need to start putting myself first. I guess I just have a martyr complex am always putting everyone first... Thanks for your comment

Saturday, June 09, 2007, 3:34 PM

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Next time your husband complains about you packing on the pounds you need to say hey, your the one who does the cooking, your the one who gets all hurt and sensitive when I try to tell you I shouldn't eat this, maybe you can try cooking healthier foods. We could all benefit from eating better. You need to speak up and tell him its his frigging cooking thats making you keep the weight on. Either secretly he likes you fat or is trying to fatten you up or he is just completely clueless. He can't complain about something he doesn't like and not take some responsibility for it since he does the cooking. And you can't complain if your to afraid to stand up to him.

Saturday, June 09, 2007, 8:52 PM

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Oh, one more thing, clearly he knows nothing about your life. How does he expect you to burn off enough calories if you don't have at least an hour to work out and with how you describe his cooking you would need to workout at least 3 hours to burn fat.

Saturday, June 09, 2007, 8:54 PM

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10:36 poster from June 8th

You're welcome, OP, anytime. :)

Saturday, June 09, 2007, 9:04 PM

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why is the food he prepares your only choice? just eat what you choose to eat but eat at the same table and at the same time as the rest of your family. i can't imagine that you have to eat his meals or eat nothing at all.

Monday, June 11, 2007, 9:33 AM

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Tell him, since he thinks it's not the food but rather the time it takes to exercise it off, that if he wants to continue cooking in such a way, he needs to make time to babysit for a couple of hours every day, or hire someone else to babysit for that time. Then you will have time to work off what he serves.

Tuesday, June 12, 2007, 12:32 PM

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