Abusive relationships

I had been in an abusive relationship (physical, mental, emotional, verbal) for the past two years which ended a few days ago. I know stress and being in a bad relationship not only brings on depression and anxiety but it makes you gain weight with that coritsol hormone. Anyone in this community gained weight from being in a dysfunctional relationship? When that happens the abuser usually says that you are fat, ugly, no one would ever want you, etc.

Sat. Jun 2, 11:33am

Sure...had all that except the physical abuse...just finished losing that 50+ pounds and the relationship has been over for 7 years. The worst part is that the full extent of his evil doesn't really hit you right away...it can take years for you to see how frighteningly insidious it all was, and hopefully you won't beat yourself up for years for not seeing this snowball effect until it flattened you. It's not that hard to get over the man - it's way harder to forgive yourself for being so "stupid" for so long.

It's probably a little difficult right now to focus and feel motivated, so just do one thing this week or even month: get your butt out and walk - a little sunshine and a little dose of exercise endorphins will put you in the right frame of mind to handle all of the changes. Good luck.

Saturday, June 2, 2007, 12:24 PM

Been there, done that! Only my relationship lasted 18 years! He didn't actually hit me, it was mostly manipulation, intimidation, verbal abuse and threats, though there were several moments of rough handling. Unfortunately, my children took the brunt of his anger with his mouth when I wasn't there. We are all doing well now because I finally stood up to him and acquired a restraining order. However, I beat myself up for a long time because of my stupidity. I'm an intelligent, strong woman, yet I got sucked into this one. I had the opposite problem (and I know you will not feel sorry for me) I lost weight while going through this. It was such a huge, unhealthy weight loss that it had some pretty devastating effects. I couldn't eat, it literally made me sick. I fell into a deep depression because of the chemical imbalance I was experiencing. I couldn't sleep and all of those factors set in motion one bad cycle that perpetuated itself. I remember laying in bed crying as I felt my rib cage sticking out and realizing I couldn't stop the weight from dropping. Why do we always seem to punish ourselves when its the perpetrator that created this?

Sunday, June 3, 2007, 2:19 PM

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