CommunityBrowse groupsBlogEtiquetteInvite Your friendsSuccess Stories


Impossible to keep healthy habits with a sabotaging spouse

my significant other finally got on a health kick, and for the first time I am being supported instead of sabotaged.

I feel for all of you out there who are fighting an uphill battle. It is basically impossible to stay on track unless you have support on the homefront.

Mon. Apr 9, 1:54pm

Add comment  
I'm in a group called "My boyfriend inhales pizza in front of me support group" - I think it's full, but I'd suggest creating a similar group if anyone is interested. It's great to bounce ideas off of each other of how to cook a healthy meal w/o him noticing how healthy it is, get in some exercise together, etc.

Monday, April 09, 2007, 2:09 PM

Add comment
It really does make a huge difference when your partner is supportive ! My SO is naturally very thin and doesn't have to worry about what she eats at all. However, this is not true for myself..I have a really hard time controlling myself around junk food. I just want to eat it all !! Anyway, since I started PT and my weight loss journey , my girlfriend has been so supportive. We don't keep junk food at home anymore and if we eat out we always go somewhere I can get a healthy meal.

Monday, April 09, 2007, 2:12 PM

Add comment
SO true!!! My spouse has been wonderful. He is naturally thin and definitely has a sweet tooth, but for me he reigns it in and doesn't keep junk in the house. When we go out - he'll often split something with me rather than the meal he was thinking of. And he does it all willingly, without being asked and without a word of complaint - just makes me melt sometimes. I would have had a lot more of a battle than I have without his steadfast support. He is my biggest cheerleader and not because he wants a skinny wife, but because he will support anything that helps me be a happier, healthier person.

Monday, April 09, 2007, 3:24 PM

Add comment
I have actually recently run into this problem. My live-in boyfriend is also attempting to be more healthy but he is a terrible influence. As part of night-time rituals we often run out for a snack or drinks (non-alch). He also eats in bed! Technically he hasn't moved in yet but he will in a month or so. Any advice for "putting my foot down" food habit wise?

Monday, April 09, 2007, 5:11 PM

Add comment
What I did was make very clear to my husband (boyfriend at the time) what I wanted of him. Specifically, if he was having a snack, I did not want him to offer me some. That's because one of the things that's hard for me is turning down food. That one helped immensely, but I had to tell him like 10 times before he stopped "feeling bad" about not offering me any. But, I just told him, over and over, I'm a big girl; if I want some, I can ask for some, and that's fine (he's not supposed to restrict me or babysit me, he's just not supposed to offer), and I can make my own snacks too.

What also helped was identifying the snacks that he likes that I don't particularly like, and encouraging him to buy those over the snacks that I really like. (For example, he loves Soft Batch cookies and also chewy chips ahoy. I love chewy chips ahoy, but for whatever reason really don't like Soft Batch - so he buys Soft Batch only.) Also, junk food stays on the way top shelf of our cabinet; I need a step stool to get to it, but he can easily reach. This, also, is huge. I can't just stop in front of the pantry and munch on the junk, b/c I can't reach it; it takes a bigger effort to get.

As for the rituals, you can always order a diet coke or something with little/no calories (or, if you go out for coffee, regular coffee, w/ a splash of skim, is not many calories, but a mocha is a ton - you may need to retrain your taste buds a bit, but you can do it.) Or, make new rituals, like going for walks, or playing games, etc. Or every time you think about going out for a snack, put the $10 you would spend in a jar; once in awhile, go out for a really nice dinner with all the money you saved up, or see a show, or buy something for the apartment that you couldn't have afforded before.

Guys are happy to please; they just need very specific instructions. "No junk in the house" wasn't going to work with my boy, so, the "dont' offer me your junk" worked just as well once we thought it through.

As for the eating in bed, maybe try reminding him to brush his teeth before bed, and make sure you do the same yourself. After the teeth are brushed, no more eating! I'm sure you can think of other ways to burn some calories, which are better with nice fresh breath anyway!

Monday, April 09, 2007, 5:24 PM

Add comment

Related Content:

How To Lose Weight- The Basics
Weight Watchers Points System
The Fat Smash Diet
The Eat To Live Diet
The Beck Diet Solution
How To Get The Motivation To Lose Weight


How To Be Successful Using PEERtrainer

How To Burn Fat
Online Weight Loss Support- How It Works
Does Green Tea Help You Lose Weight?
Tips On Using PEERtrainer
Visit The PEERtrainer Community
Diet and Fitness Resources


Weight Watchers Meetings
Learning To Inspire Others: You Already Are
Writing Down Your Daily Workouts
Spending Money On A Personal Trainer?
How I Became A Marathon Runner


Preventive Health

How To Prevent Injuries During Your Workout
Flu Season: Should You Take The Flu Shot?
Are You Really Ready To Start PEERtrainer?
Super Foods That Can Boost Your Energy
Reversing Disease Through Nutrition

New Diet and Fitness Articles:

Weight Watchers Points Plus
How To Adjust Your Body To Exercise
New: Weight Watchers Momentum Program
New: PEERtrainer Blog Archive
Review Of The New Weight Watchers Momentum Program

Weight Loss Motivation by Joshua Wayne:

Why Simple Goal Setting Is Not Enough
How To Delay Short Term Gratification
How To Stay Motivated
How To Exercise With A Busy Schedule

Real World Nutrition and Fitness Questions

Can Weight Lifting Help You Lose Weight?
Are Protein Drinks Safe?
Nutrition As Medicine?

Everyday Weight Loss Tips

How To Eat Healthy At A Party
How To Eat Out And Still Lose Weight
The Three Bite Rule
Tips On How To Stop A Binge