EMAIL THREAD

MOTHERS!

Why are they so difficult!!!

Wed. Mar 14, 6:38pm

I am right there with you! Just sent another email to my sister venting frustration about Mom! My husband gives me that look at these times and just says, "Mothers and daughters, Honey, mothers and daughters." I've learned the best thing to do is hold my tongue, don't give in to her "poking at me" and know I can't change her, I can only change my own attitude. Good luck.

Wednesday, March 14, 2007, 10:48 PM

Soooooooo with you guys. I just talked to my mom today. I hold off as long as possible (it's been over a month - she doesn't call me either). She obsesses over certain things and then tries to cram those things down people's throats. Even if it's something I agree with, having it crammed down your throat is never pleasant. It's always something...insurance sales, church, get rich real estate schemes, etc. Today it was Mangosteen Juice. Geez...

Wednesday, March 14, 2007, 11:14 PM

Yeah, I have trouble connecting with my mother too. She's so judgemental, it's always beneath the surface. She knows she says a lot of things that upset me so I think now she's actually sort of leary of talking to me too. So we talk about what books we're reading. She's 74 and my dad is still verbally abusive to her, which of course he won't admit and neither will she, but I makes it unpleasant to be around them both. I know I'm not alone, one of my best friends could say what I say just about word for word about her parents. Some people should have gotten divorced 25 years ago, but now they are too used to each other and they figure they need someone around when they have surgery.

Friday, March 16, 2007, 3:45 AM

You guys should forgive your moms and be kind to them. If they get on your nerves that much I would suggest sending a card in the mail. Let what she saya tou be water off a ducks ass. Treat your Mom the way you would like your children or best friend to treat you. Chances are you will not always have to deal with her. You wouldn't be her if your Mom didn't choose to have you!

Friday, March 16, 2007, 12:21 PM

Great advice, 12:21. I'll take it to heart. My mom is moving into an attachment we had built for her, and I'm kind of dreading and looking forward to it simulaneously.

I love her and she's in her 70s and my father died from cancer kind of unexpectedly, so I want to appreciate her -

I guess we can find people annoying and still really really love them. I try to think of what has driven my mom to be the way she is in terms of interactions with me and my sibs, and I know AS a mother of 2 girls that it isn't easy to really recognize one's kids as autonomously intellient humans with a separate will and agenda.

My kids are still kids, but someday I will be that annoying mother, and I try reall hard to to respect their points of view now.

Friday, March 16, 2007, 12:53 PM

Fortunately, I do not have this issue with my mother. She has always been a wonderful listener and not pushed her opinions on me or my siblings. My father is another story. When I call my parents house I think to myself, "don't let dad answer". It has taken up until recently for my dad to realize that his four children are not little kids anymore. That we have families and a mortgage and adult responsibilities. If my MIL were my mother she would've made me insane growing up. She has the best of intentions but she is soooo nosy. No tact. It makes me wonder how things will be with my daughter and me when she grows up. She is already so rebellious towards me. She's only 6! I try to think about how my mother let me come into my own and learn things the hard way.

Friday, March 16, 2007, 1:12 PM

because we love our children so much and only want the best for them. Sometimes we tend to forget they are their own person and able to make to take care of themselves. Just let your mother know you love her don't take her for granted she will not be around forever

Friday, March 16, 2007, 8:58 PM

I love my mother very much but I don't always like her. I know she feels the same way about me. Fortunately we live several states apart and have a fairly good relationship over the phone. We don't see each other often so when we do, we get along great. Absence and the long distance seem to make the heart grow fonder.

Saturday, March 17, 2007, 1:13 AM

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