boyfriend opinion

I was with my boyfriend last night and with a couple of friends My boyfriend and I were kidding around and he said to me, "insert nickname here", behave. You're acting stupid." It was a joke. My friends started freaking out and each texted me saying he does not treat you right, what are you doing with him? What do you think?

Wed. Feb 7, 10:40am

Well, I don't know the whole back story or this guy or how long you've been seeing him. But shaming someone in public even if it's just "teasing", isn't really ok.

Teasing is a learned behavior - some people think they might be just showing affection but really it is a battle for control and asserting the pecking order.

My family teases A LOT. And I have been guilty of teasing my boyfriend in public. But I don't like how it makes me feel or seeing the hurt reaction on his face.

Try to have a one-on-one conversation with your boyfriend about this comment and how it made you feel. Also, keep tabs on what he does say. Are his comments more positive or negative? If the answer's negative, you might want to think about taking some action - either talking to him about it or deciding to move on.

You deserve to be respected. Especially by your boyfriend!

Wednesday, February 7, 2007, 11:18 AM

You're friends are right. My father was like this with my mother, my ex-boyfriend was horrendous about it, and I have to watch myself from doing it as well. Just because the tone of voice is warm and endearing doesn't mean the intentions are good ones. It's a particularly viral mindgame...nip it in the bud, because it's not a lost cause if you catch it early.

Wednesday, February 7, 2007, 11:25 AM

about teasing

Something else I notice... Every person I know (and I include myself, unfortunately) who is in their late 30's or older and never-married teases. All the other people I meet in the boat think they have GREAT senses of humor -- while the people around them find them abrasive or even abusive.

Since noticing this I have really been working to cut it out! I will say that my whole family (except one brother) teases and that I have done it since childhood -- it's not something I learned as I got older. Coincidentally (???or not??) that brother is the only married one.

Wednesday, February 7, 2007, 11:30 AM

my motto: tease your hair, not your friends.

Wednesday, February 7, 2007, 11:32 AM

Oh, your poor hair! =)

Wednesday, February 7, 2007, 5:20 PM

My husband and I tease a lot too. My family is just that way. I never thought anything of it until I read the responses to this thread. I personally don't mind being teased and find it very easy to laugh at myself. However, my husband is more sensitive so I have to be careful when/what I teast him about.
I think if you are ok with the comment, that's ok. If it was funny to you (honestly) then blow it off. But if his teasing ever starts hurting your feelings I think it's very important to put an end to it.
Just my 2 cents!

Wednesday, February 7, 2007, 6:16 PM

In our family, it's not IF you'll get picked on, but WHEN. If someone isn't teasing you, you begin to wonder if they're upset with you. :)

Wednesday, February 7, 2007, 10:40 PM

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