are women really into heavy men?

i see many television couples in which the wife is a fit, trim, healthy size and the husband is completely out of shape and overweight to the point of it being a danger to his health. i don't see a lot of couples like this in real life. usually, either both people are the same or the woman is heavier. what do you all think of this? is the big guy, little woman image portrayed on some shows real in your community?

Mon. Jan 8, 10:04am

It's just the entertainment industry. It tolerates men with "character" but rarely women below "stunning." It's not meant to reflect reality. What on TV does?

Monday, January 8, 2007, 10:15 AM

I think many men tend to get lazy and comfortable when they are in a long-term relationship....but many more women WORK at it to continue to look good. I lost almost 20lbs since my fiancee moved in and he gained 20lbs.

I don't mind a guy that has a few extra pounds. However, I think they are couples of all shapes and sizes. But what you rarely see is a very attractive man with an overweight woman.

Monday, January 8, 2007, 10:30 AM

Just Hollywood. Women who maintain themselves like that don't want a man who's going to let himself go to pot. I know one couple where the woman is thin and fit and beautiful and the guy is grossly overweight. I know another where the woman is thin and fit and beautiful and the guy is probably in the normal BMI range but flabby. All the others I know the girl is the chubby one, or they both are chubby, or they are both fit and trim and beautiful.

Frankly fat men are as attractive to me as fat women are to most men. I'm sure there are some women attractive to a fat man just like there are some men attracted to the fat women. But as a rule this is a just a Hollywood double standard.

Monday, January 8, 2007, 10:40 AM

Where I live there are plenty of attractive, reasonably fit men with overweight wives. Many of the women I know are mothers several times over, with little time for themselves and daily priorities that get in the way of the kind of hours-at-the-gym, eat-nothing-but-salad lifestyle a lot of actresses live.

Off the top of my head I could probably name ten couples where the wife is heavy and the husband fairly fit. My plumber...my physical therapist...a friend I'll be visiting today. I see that as far more common than the reverse shown on TV, of beautiful women with slob husbands. But as was said above, TV doesn't reflect that kind of reality, and the entertainment industry is very, very sexist.

While I agree that men often tend to relax a bit (and eat better) after marriage, I also think there's a combination of factors that slant things a bit. Women often bear children after marriage, which means a huge body change comparable to nothing men experience. In addition, weight management is not equal across genders. Men have some advantage.

Monday, January 8, 2007, 11:01 AM

I am an overweight woman with a thin attractive man, and its awful to be paired the way we are. When we go to town women hit on him while i am standing right there. It is rare to find a thin man with a big woman but, if ya see them together dont hit on him it makes us fat wives feel like crap. k. thanks

Monday, January 8, 2007, 11:16 AM

I like big men - tall, broad shouldered - and it doesn't matter to me if they are somewhat overweight as long as they are agile.

Monday, January 8, 2007, 1:12 PM

11:16 Just beat the crap out of them -- unless of course you are swingers and they want a 3-way because they find your voluptuousness equally attractive. Honest to God, what kind of a skank tries to pick up a married man right in front of his wife, anyway? That's not about you being heavy, it's about them being bad people.

Monday, January 8, 2007, 2:38 PM

how does your husband react to these come-ons? in my opinion, it is more his responsibility to send a clear message that he is with YOU than it is the responsibility of other women to leave him alone. maybe it appears the two of you are just friends when you are out together?

i see more average weight men with over weight women than the other way around...

Monday, January 8, 2007, 2:55 PM

I had an over weight boyfriend in my 20's and he was fantastic in bed!

Monday, January 8, 2007, 5:45 PM

One of my girlfriends likes overweight/big men cause they make her feel smaller.

Monday, January 8, 2007, 6:44 PM

I'm not really "into" heavy men. Its just that weight (within a certain range) is sort of a non-issue. Unless the guy is overweight to the point of disgusting me (and I mean being grossly obese), then it doesn't matter.

I think the portrayal of heavy guy-fit girl in TV shows reflects values attributed to each gender. Back in the day (and this is a huge generalization), women looked for success (read:money/status) in their husbands, and men looked for attractiveness in their wives. Or maybe its TV playing up to its audience. We're much more ready to accept a comically chubby hubby than a TV wife anything less than pretty. Maybe that's a testament to our values too.

Monday, January 8, 2007, 8:55 PM

I like guys with a little meat on their bones.Anywhere from average to up to about 20 extra pounds. Anything more and I worry about their health. After all, guys don't tend to live as long as women to begin with.

31F

Monday, January 8, 2007, 11:08 PM

I don't like em fat, but I don't like 'em skin

Thursday, January 18, 2007, 9:39 PM

I think some women do like a bit larger man just for the whole instinctive protection thing. I know sometimes I like a guy who is a little heftier, but not really fat. It makes you feel a bit smaller, and if a guy is much skinnier than you it's not so good for the ego.

Thursday, January 18, 2007, 11:09 PM

I like skinny guys. I also like guys who can throw me around and pick me up randomly. There's my motivation to get/stay thin! Skinny guys are weak!

Friday, January 19, 2007, 11:16 AM

Oh man, I like guys who are stick-thin. Don't ask me why, I just do.

Friday, January 19, 2007, 11:53 AM

I do not like heavy men

Ugh.

That guy on King of queens? YUCK!

Matt Ashford is my ideal male physical archetype.

Friday, January 19, 2007, 11:54 AM

I like physically fit men, no matter what their size, although, I usually like very tall, stick thin men. I'm medium height and very curvy (not over weight).

Friday, January 19, 2007, 1:45 PM

You know what? Not all people are superficial!!! And, just because someone's overweight, it does not mean that they are not attractive to others in other ways.

My boss is a heavy guy and bald, but he also has a witty personality, kindness and charm AND he knows how to treat his wife (with respect and love)--something that some men do not have.....He is very self-confident, despite his weight...I understand why his wife married him--it's his inner qualities that really shine...

Yes, we all judge people at first glance (because outside appearance is what we are struck with PRIOR to personality, etc., but when it comes down to it, would you rather be with someone who is attractive physically, but ugly in terms of personality?

Sure, I'd love to have a muscle man for a hubby, but my own hubby is a slim guy (with a little bit of a belly, now, after 22 years of being together). If I was so superficial as to have left him because he didn't have chest muscles, then I would have left a long time ago! Instead, what really attracted him to me is his inner personality, his kindness and compassion towards others, his willlingness to learn about different cultures... He may not be "perfect" to someone else, but he is perfect to me....

Saturday, January 20, 2007, 2:37 PM

Oh, and beauty fades... personality tends to stay around....

Saturday, January 20, 2007, 2:38 PM

Nature.

I don't think it's wrong to prefer men who are physically fit over men who are flabby. It used to be survival of the fittest. Many men are attracted to large breasts and wide hips because that lets them know those women are capable of storing fat (survival) and bearing their children (survival). Personally, I prefer men who are much taller than I, with very little body fat, and very intelligent (and that's why I married one).

I don't think you can fault anyone for their preferences. It's nature.

Saturday, January 20, 2007, 4:47 PM

Not me! But after 25 years my hubby has put on about 30lbs. I am still into him1

Saturday, January 20, 2007, 10:05 PM

Honestly,

a man would have to have a *great* personality for me to overlook a big belly. But a good personality always beats a nice body. I'd choose Jack Black over any of the guys on Friends, skinny, well-built, whichever.

Sunday, January 21, 2007, 3:55 PM

I think that this is just typical sexism and hypocrisy in America. The media portrays the double standard that women must be "hot", but men can look any way they want. It's kinda like the 300 pound man with a chili dog in one hand and a beer in the other wearing a shirt that says "No Fat Chicks". But to answer your question, no - this is not my real life experience.

Sunday, January 21, 2007, 6:35 PM

I'm not into heavy men but if I liked a guy and he happened to be heavy, I would still like him. But usually, heavy men aren't into taking care of themselves, they sit around a lot and that's not the kind of guy I like.

Tuesday, January 23, 2007, 4:33 PM

personally, I like my men a little overweight. I dont know why. I think its sexy. Not overly muscled either. They have to look good naked tho. Nothing disgusting going on like too much hair or flabbiness.

Tuesday, January 23, 2007, 11:09 PM

I like hairy men. haha!

Wednesday, January 24, 2007, 12:56 PM

Jan 21st 3:55, I love that you mention Jack Black, I don't find him sexy but he has a great personality that I would go for him over any dull muscle bound man any day. Nothing better then to be able to laugh together. And an FYI, he's really nice and funny in real life!

Friday, January 26, 2007, 3:06 PM

More idiotic hollywood wishful thinkinig on the part of men

No. Women don't find men like the king of queens attractive.

Sunday, January 28, 2007, 8:47 PM

I'm not sure that you can generalize for all women 8:47 pm poster. I hear that you don't think he's attractive, but I think he's funny and has a cute face.

Sunday, January 28, 2007, 11:41 PM

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