Resentment!

OK This is what annoys the hell out of me. I brought my mother inlaw a beutiful piece of jewelery 25 years ago for my mother in law. She gave it to my sister in law about 10 years ago. She ears it all the time. It really pises me off me . She alway treated her daughter better then she did me. Now 10 years She is crazy as a bed bug now and has Alzhiemers. now she treats me luke gold and remebers my name now when she sometimes forgets her kids. Of course i am the one who is always there for her. My husband works alot and my sister in laws have reasons not to be available all the tim. I am just letting off some steam. I know if I can forgive and let go . I will be better off. It also geyts me thinking about all the times I was mis treated. Advice please!

Mon. Dec 25, 9:43pm

Are you your mother-in-law's caregiver? I'm not sure if I understood that correctly. It wouldn't be that unusual for her to be seen as treating a natural daughter in a different manner than a daughter-in-law. It's a different relationship, and most commonly a closer one. There are ties of blood and the fact that your mother-in-law raised this person. Ten years strikes me as a long time to harbor a grudge over a "re-gifting incident." I understand how that would have hurt you at the time, but I think that back then would have been the time to have dealt with it.

If your mother-in-law still remembers you, that's wonderful. Alzheimer's is a terrible disease that plays havoc with the memory. It most likely isn't her conscious choice to remember you as opposede to her children. Think of what they must be going through. I'm not sure how I would handle being around a beloved parent who couldn't remember my name. I might deal with it by avoidance. It is likely also extremely frustrating for your mother-in-law if she still has enough moments of clarity to realise she can't remember all she wishes she could.

It is incredible exhausting, emotional and physically to be someone's caregiver and I commend you for being there for your mother-in-law, but I would really try hard to work on your resentment. Try to see the situation from all perspectives. Arrange to take a day off now and then if at all possible, and make sure you don't forget to take care of yourself. If there are issues within the family that are more current, by all means discuss them with the parties involved. You deserve to be heard out.

Your mother-in-law, unfortunately, won't always remember you. Try to appreciate the moments that she does and leave the resentments behind. Let them go. Life is too precious.

Tuesday, December 26, 2006, 4:45 AM

Thanks 4:45 Am good advice

Tuesday, December 26, 2006, 10:18 AM

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