The Mean Page

My husband did something very insensitive yesterday, and it really hurt me. But at the time, I said nothing. After meeting several others who had people sabotaging their efforts, I started to think about something. Just how many people tick us off for understandable reasons, and yet we say nothing to stand up for ourselves?

I started thinking about self-esteem, and how MANY of us have such low self-esteem that we think we deserve to get disrespected. I started thinking how much better I felt yesterday after just admitting how angry I was about my husband's behavior. So many of us have weight problems that stem from emotional over-eating, and I'd wager that a lot of that comes from us not sticking up for ourselves. So what if we actually started asserting our right to not get dumped on? Wouldn't that put us in a position to have better control over our emotions and not over-eat when we're upset or frustrated? So, I wondered:

What about a "mean" page? A place to come and talk about everyone and everything that has ticked you off, disrespected you, upset you, hurt your feelings, or made you feel bad about yourself? A place to just vent that anger, a place to be as mean as you want about the people who hurt you if you need it, a place to start sticking up for yourself? A place to start getting out those emotions that bottle up and lead to me finding myself at the bottom of a half-gallon of ice cream.

I'll start.

My Mom ticks me off beyond belief, because when she sees me, the first thing she comments on is if I've lost weight. If I haven't, I just get complete silence, which I know means that I have gained weight. She makes my body a source of judgment, and it infuriates me. ESPECIALLY since I can't go to the self-centered witch for support-- all she'll talk about is how she just "can't eat like she used to" or other guilt-enducing crap. Woe be it for her to actually just shut up and listen, to be there for me when I need some support.

My Dad was always rotten about my weight growing up. If I would put a second helping of green beans on my plate, even when I was playing 3 sports and had a metabolism through the roof!, he would always yell at me about "that's ENTIRELY too much food, Tracy- you should NOT be eating like that! You can't afford to!" This coming from a 5'11", 250 pound man who was guarding the last chicken breast like it was gold.

My sister was thin for most of our childhood because of anorexia and bulemia. She would throw it in my face that she was the "pretty one", that she could get any guy she wanted- even those that she know I was interested in- and that I didn't have a chance in heck. She always humiliated me about my size, or offered "helpful criticism" on how to lose weight even when I wasn't asking for it. The self-important little snot made my life a living hell.

My old boyfriend was just a plain old rotten son of a gun. He made me feel fat, unattractive, and like an embarassment to him. This was the kind of guy that liked big girls, but didn't want to be SEEN with big girls. It makes me so angry to think I wasted 5 years of my life with that good-for-nothing PIG.

My grandmother is just going to get smacked some day by one of the larger people in the family- and SHE WILL DESERVE IT. Yes, I said it- my GRANDMOTHER has it coming. She arbitrarily decides what your "favorite food" is, and she will greet you at the door with literally 20-30 servings of it (even if you're only there overnight). You are expected to eat all or most of it, or you hurt her feelings. Then, as soon as you finish eating and are washing your plate, she'll come up to you and poke your fat and say "how are you EVER going to get married if you stay this heavy? You gotta look the way the boys like! Tee hee" and then she'll totter off to harass someone else. AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA! I could CHOKE her. I just wanted to scream "HA!" when I married a 6'1" 170lb god of a man.

I cannot tell you how good it feels to get that OUT! Some of that has been 25 YEARS in the making! But after I've said it all, let me clarify: I DO love my family, I DESPERATELY love my Grandmom, and I hope my ex is happy in life always. The purpose of this exercise is in trying to get my hostility out in a healthy way, in a safe and non-judgmental place. That way, the NEXT time my mom/dad/sister/grandmom get on my nerves, I can come here and e-scream everything I want to yell at them, instead of going straight to the refrigerator.

Does anyone else think this might be helpful?

Mon. Sep 26, 6:41pm

This post is unreal.

I feel the same exact way about my grandmother. I love my grandmother but she is insensitve, entitled and shoves chocolates down mythroat every time I see her and then gave me grief about not being married by the age of 25. I understand and never felt comfortable actually saying something wrong about my grandmother. It's always been respect the grandma. I realize your post is about so much more but I completely related to this part of it.

I am in favor (escreaming favor) of the mean page. Mine is also 25 years in the making. And funny, I have absolutely no craving for anything to eat right now and it's 9pm. My snack time. Thank you thank you thank you for this post.

Monday, September 26, 2005, 7:00 PM

What an awesome idea! I actually do say things to some of the people who hurt me face to face but they are often in anger and it never comes out the way I really mean to say it and I regret opening my mouth. But there are plenty of times that I get to hurt to say anything and stew over it while mindlessly eating a bag of cookies.
Coodles to the mean page!

Tuesday, September 27, 2005, 12:55 AM

My Personal Health Textbook Sucks

In this textbook I have to read right now, they never say overweight. They literally say "if you're fat", "fatness is bad, fitness is good", and things like that. Now, if I describe myself as fat, that's one thing. But this entire stupid book is designed to make me feel like crap just because I'm bigger!! And I had to pay $85 dollars to feel crappy about myself?? These people can kiss my patootie!

Oh, and my husband (who is not overweight) was talking to me about overweight people, and he absent-mindedly put his arms out around his waist while he was talking, in order to illustrate "bigness" without realizing it. As soon as he blinked, he thought about it, and awkwardly put his hands down, but it was too late. He'd already ticked me off. Thoughtless wanker...

Long live the Mean Page!

Tuesday, September 27, 2005, 2:38 AM

Hmmm...

Just forgive those who forgive you. Don't you occasionally make comments about bald guys or ugly women?

That said, the only way I have been able to avoid my Dad's crap is by limiting our time together to the occasional Sunday brunch. "I don't want to hear your crap so I'm not giving you enough time to go negative." I get so mad at my Dad for his endless regrets and self criticism that he then turns around on me to "help me" under the guise of "just telling me how it is".

I think a lot of the criticism about fat and appearance and behavior we get from friends and family is part of an effort to control each other's behavior. I think half the battle we get into with other people over weight is one person saying "lose weight" the other person saying "I don't have to. You can't make me. I can do whatever I want. You're doing xyz that makes you angry, I'm going to eat this/do this because it keeps you from getting what you want." Part of being fat is anger, swallowed.

Agree? Disagree?

Link

Tuesday, September 27, 2005, 11:16 AM

I think she has something

I agree. A lot of my eating centers on anger, and when I eat a lot, I'm usually pretty ticked off. I also agree about limiting the time factor spent with people who bring you down. I'm starting to do that with my family, and it's helping... I ALSO agree that behavior control is related to diet. I know that when someone ticks me off about my weight by "encouraging" me in a demeaning fashion, I tend to wait until they're not around and then pig out. It's like i don't have the guts to say "you know, that really hurt my feelings," so instead I passive-aggresively say "hahaha! You can't REALLY stop me! Take THIS!" and stuff a sandwich down my throat.

Wednesday, September 28, 2005, 8:56 PM

thanks :}

Thursday, September 29, 2005, 12:40 AM

more Mean Page stuff

Note: I love all the following people, but they don't know about this account, and this can remove some of my anger,

Thanks for the idea! Kept me from snack time ;)

My roommate gave me hives because she doesn't know how to wash dishes until they're totally clean--the old food rotted and made me SO sick! ahhc!

My dad was trying to be nice when I told him I want to lose weight, but he said (offhand), oh that's what your mom weighed when she was pregnant with you. AHHH!

I'm done now.

Thursday, October 20, 2005, 12:53 PM

I Love it!!!

I love the idea of the mean page. I also have some much needed venting to do:

I love my boyfriend, but our relationship has been like a rollercoaster. I can't blame all my weight gain on our relationship, but I know that I am an emotional eater. All the stress does not help me! And in a recent argument he said that I'm not doing enough to make myself attractive for him! He said that he wants me back to the weight I was when we met. Now granted, he appologized over and over again after I blew up on him, but the comment still hurt. You can't just take back something like that after you say it.

Also, I feel that you can only lose weight for yourself, not to please someone else. I've never commented on his less than perfect body! I am losing weight for myself. If he doesn't love me for who I am, then he can piss off! (And incase you're wondering, I told him that!)

That felt good. Thank you to the person who started this thread!

Thursday, October 20, 2005, 1:32 PM

Barnes & Noble has published a book called, "The Gentle Art of Verbal Self-Defense" by Suzette Haden Elgin. It seriously changed my life. Amazon sells it, but since it is published by Barnes & Noble, it is easier to find it at B&N, either online or in one of their retail stores.

Friday, October 21, 2005, 6:41 AM

mean page

I am totally for the mean page! I actually dont have anything that needs shouting right now, but I will be back!
Thank you for starting the thread

Friday, October 21, 2005, 8:30 AM

response to a comment on the mean page

This mean page is great and could trim some pounds off of me. I stuff food and anger in one deft motion and patronizing comments are the worst. How does one respond to them?? On the surface they are "nice" and one can be accused of "imagining" the intent when addressing them. Honesty with ourselves may be our best defense to the angry stuffing response

Friday, October 21, 2005, 11:27 AM

I just requested this book from my library. The Gentle Art of Verbal Self-Defense. It sounds interesting. Thanks to the poster who brought it to our attention.

Friday, October 21, 2005, 2:34 PM

People who irritate me

I have a lot of people arond me who irritate me..
A friend at work is one such person.. She has this most annoying habit of passing remarks on me in front of a whole lot of people..
She comments on my clothes, my jewellery, the food on my plate, anything..
She has a very taunting way of saying things which make me feel like hitting at her face.. and yet she is my "friend"
I give her signals about how I feel... sometimes I just stop talking to her altogether and she becomes ok .. but then its her nature and it comes back to her after a few days

I hate it....why cant she understand that everyone has their own weaknesses and shortcomings ... and she has loads of them herself..
I am not one person to say things to anyone on their faces.. and guess this is the price I pay for it..

Sigh

Monday, October 24, 2005, 1:22 AM

my boyfriend

iwhen he gets angry, there is just no communicating with him!!! i had a bad day yesterday, and told him i was feeling tense....and then he did something that made a loud noise, and i asked him to please stop since i was really stressy and the noise was agitating. well, after that, he was in a bad mood because he "can't do anything right" according to me...and then the conversation just fell apart. and then it's like he's just so focused on "winning" our nonexistent argument that he isn't even listening to what he is saying. :( i tried to just disengage, or move on, but when someone wants to be angry, there's no hope of salvaging that moment.

and it makes me sad. and frustrated which just ruins my night and means i don't sleep well and don't have any energy today to make good choices for myself. which sucks because he just needed a little time to cool off, nothing was really wrong, everything could have gone so much differently.

UGH!!!

Monday, October 24, 2005, 6:54 AM

I just remembered this thread and I wanted to add to it. People at work are so mean, they say things without even thinking that my feelings might be hurt. I have to act like I don't care and meanwhile, all I want to do is cry.

Wednesday, November 21, 2007, 12:49 PM

thanks for bringing this post back up because I have one today that I have to get out of my system.

I have a co-worker who has been here for 1 year and I have been here for 7 years. She's one of these know it all people. One of our co-workers was asking me the other day if I had a roaster for her party because i entertain alot. Before i could say one word, she butts her mouth in and starts telling her that she has one and she'd be happy to give it to her and then shows her a picture of it. It's not a dog for god sakes, it's a roaster! And then I'll be talking with someone and she'll break in and correct everyone. For the last three days she has gone on and on how fat she is because her pants are a size 4. And her friendship to another co-worker of ours is better than mine because she lives by her. Oh, I could just scream! There are days she is so on my nerves! And then she'll run around here and act like she's the only busy one, no one else is as busy as her.......

that felt better. thanks.

Wednesday, November 21, 2007, 1:08 PM

I'm always reading/posting on here but for some reason never saw this page and boy do I need it! Especially right now.

Well I don't have a whole lot of friends and the closest is a girl I've been friends with and gone to school with since high school (it's going on our 8th year now). Well, throughout our friendship she's always made really mean, sarcastic comments to me. It really upset me because it seemed as if she was pretty much saying these types of things to me b/c I know none of her other friends would take that crap. I finally disclosed how I felt to her last year and she's changed her ways; I hardly hear those comments. I mean she's still flaky but I guess she's like this with everyone. Anyway, what upsets me now is that she lives in the student housing now (whereas I live at home with my family) and she has 3 roommates and they all get along really well and they've become friends. She regularly talks about how great they are to me (along with other people she's become close friends with) and she never ever mentions me even though I've met some of these people briefly. It makes me feel like I'm not important. I mean I know I don't act like the "typical" college girl, but I pride myself in that I'm a bit of a tomboy, I'm low-maintenance, I'm a nice person, I have tons of respect for myself, and I don't party (unlike some of her friends). Today, I noticed on her Facebook profile that she placed me 5th from being 3rd in her top friends list...and I'm wondering...why? But in a way I think it's a good thing..maybe it's good to grow further apart...anyway we have in recent years.

Another thing that bugs me is that a couple years ago I revealed to her, a few months after I got diagnosed, that I have anxiety/some depression (which I've had for half of my life). What upsets me is that I don't think she even understands what I'm going through...ya know like look it up on the internet. I've told her a few times why often I don't like to go when she invites me places due to my anxiety/depression, but she doesn't get it. One time I mentioned to her that an old HS friend has anxiety/depression (to justify that many people have this) and she said something about how everyone worries and assumed anxiety can be easily controlled. Ironically, she wants to become a psychologist!

Wednesday, November 21, 2007, 2:43 PM

I was tortured throughout my life and I am SICK OF IT. I am no less of a person than the next skinny person. In Jr. High I was bullied and no one ever helped me... I was mooed at and mocked. I hated my life and my body because of that little prick, and when I lost weight after high school I didn't appreciate it like I should have. Instead I tried to get back by using people and hurting people the way I had been used and hurt.

I am now 24 and I am still scarred by the pain of my youth. I hate those people still but I am slowly forgiving myself.

Wednesday, November 21, 2007, 4:00 PM

Wow, what a lot of pain and anger many of you have had pent up inside you. I had no idea this could be a reason for being overweight. I think for me I just love the way things taste. If it's really good i want to eat until there isn't any left. The best thing I can do to keep from overeating is measure out my portions and then immediately brush and floss my teeth after eating. That gets the yummy food taste out and leaves a clean minty taste that doesn't make me want to eat anymore.

Anyway, thanks for showing me another side.

Wednesday, November 21, 2007, 4:36 PM

YES, she REALLY said that!!

My mother was talking about an old friend she had seen.... and in front of everyone said, "she was huge! I mean, so big.... even bigger than you!"

BITCH.

Wednesday, November 21, 2007, 5:16 PM

I HATE MY JOB, no actually I like my job but I hate the back stabbing, two timing, gossips who also work in the department. The assisant director is probably the worse she is so insecure in her position that she has to invent rules for the rules she just invented, which if she would actually take time and read the federal and state law requirements she would know this. Grrrrrr, I hate feeling this way but it sure felt good to let it out for a change.

Wednesday, November 21, 2007, 5:23 PM

uhh HIGH SCHOOL?

Yeh, I can't wait to graduate and get away from these fake idiots who thinkthere's nothing more to a person's personality that their weight and clothes. I'm just lucky I've found friends that appreciate me..and I'm not even that heavy (I'm just not perfectly french fry built, is all).

"Oh...psttt..pssssst..she gained wait."
"Oh, so and so is trying to lose weight"
"OMG SHE WORE THAT? AHAHA"

OMGGG GO KILL YOURSELVES YOU GOD DAMN SINGLE DIGIT IQ MONKEY.

grrrrrrrrr.

Wednesday, November 21, 2007, 9:34 PM

Thank you for this!!!!!

Okay first of all I am home alone with Deal or No Deal playing in the background. I have been with my boyfriend for the last 8.5 years and for the last couple of weeks I've been living alone in a new studio apartment because we took time to grow after having had a lot of trust issues because of his rampant cheating in the beginning of our relationship and then our subsequent clinging for almost 6 years. Needless to say we got nothing done, I got fat, and he got occassional part-time work.
Now I'm within 10 lbs. of my goal weight, he's got a career, and so do I. Our trust has been solidifying in a mature way after all the crap. But I want to cling! I want to spend time with him! Part of it is my love for him and part of it is my insecurity that this time away from me will make him decide he doesn't want to be with me after all. I just turned 30 and am also afraid of time running out. I want to get married and have kids and I know he will be a good dad and provider. Will he be a good partner? I don't know!
I'm lonely, I find myself crying for him, I miss him, but I want these 8 months we'll be living apart to be really be meaningful. ugh, I have no answers!
Thank you so much for letting me let that out. I can't really share that with anyone.

Wednesday, November 21, 2007, 9:47 PM

9:34 pm, I hear you! I'm 40 years old, and STILL look back on high school as the worst period of my life (and surrounded by some of the worst people I've ever met in my life!). The good news is, folks do grow up and lose that superficiality and childishness. Not only will you not be there forever, but they won't be like that forever!

I went off to college and met awesome people and made real friends -- it may seem forever to you know, but thankfully high school does not go on forever!

Goodness, now that I've thought about THAT, I really don't have anything to complain about today. :-)

Thursday, November 22, 2007, 11:14 AM

I adore my family, really
BUT
I get so tired of being the youngest and always the one to be picked on. It makes me feel stupid. I am 41 years old and it has taken me years to look at myself as worth something. Not all the fault of my immediate family. But they don't help.
Most of the time they are very supportive and loving and I appreciate that but sometimes I just want to yell at them and say, You know I do have a brain and I do have feelings and you know my childhood wasn't so good.
Not that they had it any better. Different reasons but same outcome.
And the thing is if I were to talk to them about it they would be so surprised. I don't think any of them have a clue that they are demeaning me.

I have a friend, well I will call him that even though he isn't friendly so much of the time,
I always have to live up to his expectations. I have put him in his place a few times but it is so hard. I get so tired of him telling me what to do.
The last time I dieted it was because of him. He wouldn't leave me alone. Did you walk today. You shouldn't eat so much. Or worse, talk about other people and you know he means it about you. And he would leave and I would stuff my face. Anything to shove down the pain.
Sometimes I just want to punch him
He actually told me I wasn't worth taking a chance on, because of my weight. I wish I could let that one go. It hurts so bad. I thought he cared about me but only on his terms.

I used to have a boy friend, years ago. One time he went to go visit friends and when he came back I asked him if he had told them we were going to get married and he said no. So I asked him why and he said he was too embarrassed.
Ya that was the end of that relationship.

So here I am 41 years old, no husband, no kids, nothing that I have ever wanted in life. And I ache.
But, for me I am losing weight, not for anyone else. I will not answer to someone else any longer about my weight or the way I choose to eat or live my life.
I am a kind person and deserve to be loved and wanted.
I am not what I look like, I am my heart. I have a huge heart and I hurt for people. I care. Sometimes so much I eat to cover the pain of other people too.
You know, mostly I think I like myself, if only I could get everyone else to keep their mouths shut so I could get somewhere.
Thank God I do have people that encourage me too.

Boy I think I like this venting idea.
I forgive those who have hurt me,
I forgive me too.
Forgiveness is too important to forget about it.

Friday, November 23, 2007, 4:43 PM

When a friend is NOT really your friend!!!!

I think this venting page is a great idea. I saw it a few days ago and had nothing to gripe about but now I have a gripe to share.

As part of my circle of friends, I have a 31 year old female friend who is over 300 pounds and I have a very skinny gay 23 year old male friend. They are inseperable. The male is not a good friend or a friend of any kind at all to anyone! He is a manipulator and totally manipulates my female friend. She lets him do it. He walks all over her. He is the most selfish POS I have ever met!!! When ever we hang out he decides what we do which usually involves going to a gay bar. I'm a good sport and I have gone for many years. Now I'm getting to the end of my gayness tolerance rope. He never budges on this. It is always his choice. My female friend gives him the power. I'm finding myself drifting away from the 2 of them. It is really terrible since I consider the female friend one of my dearest friends. Luckily the male friend should be leaving for school next summer or so he says. I hope he goes!!!! I just can't watch him treat her like crap. I can't really do anything to help her because she lets him treat her this way. I can only defend myself.

I'm working until 7:30 tonight and was left out of the dinner plans. I'm miffed by this especially since my female friend told me we were all going to dinner. My male friend decided he was hungry at 5:30, so they went ahead to dinner with out me. Ok? I'm hurt. I'm not sure how to respond. I'm not sure I want to see them at all tonight. Lets just hope he leaves for school and stays away forever. Some friend!!!!!

I know wah wah wah!!! I need new friends! I'm working on it.

Friday, November 23, 2007, 7:02 PM

I love love love this thing. Here's mine today - my friend tries to make plans with me 8 times so I can help out a guy she likes but doesn't even try to get together for my birthday. Selfish, selfish, selfish. I'm so sick of her.

Saturday, November 24, 2007, 9:15 AM

OOOOOOOH, my mother in-law ticks me off most of the time, if not all of the time. They want to buy us a new bedroom set and matresses for our bedroom and have been harping on us to go look for two weeks so they can get it. So yesterday, my husband and I went looking and found what we liked, so last night when we were at their house for dinner along with my in-law's sister and her husband we told them we had found something and then we are told we don't want anyone to know what we are doing so we will disuss it later. Give me a break, its ok to talk in front of your sister telling us to look the day before but when we find something its not ok to talk about it.

Another thing about this woman that is so unbelievable rude (I do try and make an effort to do things with her for my husband sake) is when I ask her what she has planned for a certain day and she says nothing, then I tell her I bought tickets to a dinner play and I would like for her to come with me and she then tells me, yes, I will come provided nothing else comes up she is such a self centered *)&^%$, I ever met. I really hate her, hate her, hate her. She is rude to my parents, she acts like she is better than anyone else. I actually liked my ex-husband's mother, just not the ex, now if I could have my current husband with my ex-husband's mother I would be so at peace right now.

Saturday, November 24, 2007, 10:07 AM

I feel so sad right now, I have been best friends with this woman for over 20 years. Now, that she is getting a divorce she won't return my calls anymore, she tells me she is coming to visit then doesn't. When I do finally reach her she tells me she is busy but she will call later then doesn't. I just dont get it, it hurts and makes me mad that she's like this person who could care less about someone else. I was in the hospital for a week and she could not even find the time to at least send a card. I don't see that her getting a divorce would cause her to be this way, since I was single for 8 years while she was married to this guy. I have always made time for her. I have helped her out financiallywhen she needed it, I have been there with her when she called at 3:00 a.m. in the morning because her now ex and her had a fight. I get more calls from her cell phone because she did not lock it than from her.

Saturday, November 24, 2007, 10:23 AM

I am a mean person... since losing weight I have become more aware of others. I guess I had blocked that sort of info out before bc I didn't want to have to deal with myself either. Well, anyway, I have a confession. I did a double take. An actual double take at my sil' s gigantic ass on Thanksgiving. OMG, I can't even believe it! And, I didn't even know I was doing it! I feel awful, and then, for a minute I felt happy that my ass wasn't that big! Aaahhhh, what an awful thing to think! Thanks for letting me confess - I feel better.

Tuesday, November 27, 2007, 9:56 AM

I love the idea of this thread!

I used to eat out of anger and fear. One day, a year ago, I stopped. Now, I see myelf as a little bitchy. I'm happier because I don't hold in my feelings-especially around my family. They "tell it like it is" to me, and I'm finally giving it back! Instead of wallowing in ice cream, I'm calling them out. I told my mother to stop being so critical of me-and she's really made an effort not to. I told my father I didn't really like him as a kid, but I'm glad we have a good relationship now-and it's only made our relationship better. I'm telling the truth, so I don't keep it bottled inside, and I've never felt so free! I'm still learning tact, but I'm doing pretty good.

Now, if I'm feeling crappy, hurt, angry, or sad...I say it!

To my aunt on Thanksgiving-You will not boss me around!

To one of the previous posters: I have also gotten the "I wasn't even that heavy pregnant" comment. Along with the famous: "Remember when you were skinny?" "Wow, you're looking healthy!" "I used to love to take pictures of you" "Your father thinks you're getting too fat" ...I'll be back when I think of more!

Thanks for posting this thread!

Tuesday, November 27, 2007, 10:35 AM

My Mean page!!

I do in home child care and have for the last 20 years along with a nighbor of mine who also does it in her own house...Long story short the neighborhood was going down hill very fast so My family moved to a newer area and I continue to do child care, The old neighbor has been without kids for over 6 mo now, she lost them for lots of reasons, moved, went on to school, lost a few due to her smoking and so on...I love her, we are friends...but I have my group and I and I am doing well....guess it's my fault since I am the one to call her and check up on her almost daily and she is just so depressed because she hears my kids that now she is getting mean and rude to me. I need to take the hint and bug off but it hurts my feelings...I even pass names on to her but as I said it will be hard to fill spots in her home and in the area she lives. I am not better than her by any means I use to live next door but I do understand why she isn't picking up children. Again that is why we went out on a limb and made the move 10 years ago.

Wednesday, March 05, 2008, 2:45 PM

My uncle always tells me that I am big boned and its in my family genes to be this way. While I lose weight he is very supportive, but always tries to reassure me that I wont be succesful since our family is big. I always tell him that its the way we eat that makes us big. Yet every couple days he will comment on how great I am starting to look, then tells me I won't be able to keep it up because of our genes.....THERE IS NO FAT GENE in my family just overeaters who won't take responsibility for their actions

That felt good

Wednesday, March 05, 2008, 3:44 PM

My freakin Neighbor!

I used to be very good friends with my one neighbor in particular (i'm friends with all my neighbors and I am very blessed to have them!)

It all started last year. She was inviting another neighbor of mine over to her house for wine and out for walks every night of the week and not inviting me. I admit, I felt left out, but I don't pretend to control everyone, so if they want time alone, so be it. Then one day last summer on a Thursday night out of the blue, 7 sets of neighbors come over. We had 20 people over including all the kids to play. It was completely random, I didn't invite any of them--this happens every weekend in the summer and we love it that way! Anyway, this particular neighbor went for a walk and walked past my house and saw everyone was over. THe next day I get a NASTY email from her attacking me and my 7 year old daughter. FIrst of all bitch, you want to attack me, bring it on, but you better leave my children out of it. She was all pissed because I didn't invite her over. SHE F***ing does it to me all the time! Then she said I didn't wave to them one day when I drove by. The sun could have been in my eyes dipshit! So i didn't talk to her for months. Then she calls me and invites me over for wine. I go, we never talk about what happen, but try to mend our friendship. About two months later (this fall) she calls me and asks if I want to go to the local wine tasting with her. I said yes. She never calls or emails me about it again. The day of the tasting I email her at work to ensure we're still on. She doesn't respond, but I didn't think much about it because it was a friday and she maybe wasn't at work. So I go home and call her house. Her husband tells me she made plans with someone else. I start calling the other neighbors to see if they want to go and they're all busy. She calls about 15 minutes before the thing was supposed to end and says, I guess I missed the wine tasting, oh well. Want to come over for wine? I said no. Then the next Monday she emails me and yells at me for telling her husband that we had plans. HELLO FREAK, WE HAD PLANS!

Anyway, I don't talk to her anymore and it turns out her husband told another one of our neighbors that he's afraid of her because she phyco!

Wednesday, March 05, 2008, 4:15 PM

When I first married I loved my Mother in-law. That went away pretty quickly when she started tell me what to do all the time as well as berate me for working. (Her daughter doesn't work and stays home with the kids) well maybe she can afford to but we can't. All those years of her nit picking at me and butting her nose into all we did was so frustrating! She went so far as to get her friend who worked at the bank to find out what we had in our bank account then bitched at us that we would never be able to buy a house if we kept going through money like we did! Can you believe the nerve? Well now we own a beautiful house, certainly with no help from them! After a while I finally got fed up. Started giving it right back to her and that bitch of a sister in law of mine. (it was like they always ganged up on me) Finally, I said to myself and my husband "I refuse to allow myself to be treated this way and the only way to avoid it was to avoid them" For 3 years I did not speak to either of them. My husband understood and no matter what he said to her she would not stop but she was still his mother so he saw her and brought the kids over for her to see but I refused. We slowly started getting along, JUST getting along and talking again. About the best thing that could have happend was I moved out of state. NOW, we get along great and how funny, she and SIL bitch to me about each other. Hmmm, guess that now that I'm not around they gotta take it out on each other!
The moral to this little story is SPEAK UP FOR YOURSELF! I don't care if you're 100 lbs or 300 lbs, you are a person and you don't deserve to be treated that way. If they don't get it, get them out of your lives!

Wednesday, March 05, 2008, 5:54 PM

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