REALLY Need Some Support

I just broke a chair. I am so humiliated, so embarassed, and so completely upset right now. My husband is at work until midnight, and I am HUMILIATED to have to tell him what I did. They were his grandmother's chairs, we got them when she died, and he is going to be so upset. He's in great shape, so I know he's not going to understand. I'm crying all over my keyboard, because I honestly think this is my rock bottom. I could really use some support right now.

Sun. Sep 25, 3:27pm

It makes no difference what shape HE is in; if he's your husband, he needs to understand that YOU have difficulties and need support. I'm so sorry about the chair, but someone will be able to repair it, and he better understand that instead of just getting mad. I don't know what your relationship with him is like but if he is not going to be supportive then you need to find someone who will be. Do you have anyone who understands and whom you can talk to? A friend or family member? If so, call them and tell them what happened so they can listen and be sympathetic.

And for whatever it's worth, here is my advice. You say you have hit rock bottom, so GOOD for you. Congratulations. You just decided that you are not going to let yourself get any worse. There's nowhere to go but up. Look in your phone book and call the nearest Weight Watchers and go to the next meeting that you can make. You will find other people out there who are similar or worse off than you are and who can empathize with you and provide you with the support that you really need. Don't do it for your husband, do it for YOU. It will work, it will give you more confidence and a place where you will feel OK being yourself.

Sunday, September 25, 2005, 4:20 PM

I really appreciate your encouragement- Lord knows I need it right now. I didn't mean to say that my husband is a jerk- he's probably the most wonderful man in the world to me. The only problem is that because he IS small, and because his entire family (even extended) is small, he's never experienced someone trying to lose weight, particularly not a large amount of it. He desperately wants to support me, he just doesn't know what to do, and it's hard for him to understand how I feel because he's never gone through it. And, to answer your question, no- I don't have anyone I can talk to about this. It's part of the problem. My family are very unsupportive people and we just moved to a new town so I don't know anyone here to talk to. I think you're right about the Weight Watchers thing- it might be worth the money (we're desperately poor) just to have some emotional support and someone people who know what I'm going through!

Thanks for your help, though. I really need it right now, and you did more than you know by just responding-- it helps to feel not so alone...

Sunday, September 25, 2005, 4:36 PM

Keep posting on this thread...

we are here for you. If you want you can ask for a couple groups to join and I'm sure you will get invites.

Sunday, September 25, 2005, 4:49 PM

It is just a chair

Don't worry about the chair. As the other person said, it can be fixed and it is SOOO good you hit rock bottom! WW is worth the money, I promies. You will be able to meet people in your area, and get ideas to eat low fat and healthier. If you just can't afford it, look into church support groups in town. Some churches offer it. At my lowest point I thought about joining Overeaters Anonomys. Its free,

The problem some time with being short of money is it seems to be easier to eat unhealthy because it is cheaper. Buy frozen veggies, they are much cheaper and are just as healthy. You CAN do it! Get your walking shoes on and next time you are down and out (or hungry LOL!), get out there! Chin up! Once you start shedding a few pounds it will be fun!

Sunday, September 25, 2005, 7:56 PM

Use the logs here

To add to the excellent advice above, I think the peertrainer logs have been very helpful to me... keep track of your eating habits, and your exercise habits. Do it everyday, don't skip days, and be as accurate as possible.

It really helps you to be conscious(sp?) of what you are doing on a daily basis, and you can start to make better food choices, and eliminate unhealthy snacks.

Weigh yourself at the same time everyday (preferably morning before breakfast), and record your weight once a week (it will fluctuate from day to day, so just record it once a week to see the trend).

Try to get at least a small amount of exercise in everyday... walking is a great start. Any kind of aerobic exercise will also help you improve your outlook, so you don't feel like indulging in food as often.

There's lots of things you can do. Your situation is not hopeless -- unlike so many things, weight is actually something you can do something about. It won't be easy, but it will get easier and more enjoyable the more you stick with it. Don't lose heart -- use this as an opportunity to take charge of your life.

And it really is just a chair.

Monday, September 26, 2005, 7:59 AM

I Want to Thank ALL of You

I want to personally thank each and every one of you that kicked in yesterday to support me. My gratitude is the closest I can ever get to articulating just how much your help meant to me last night.

Because you all just overwhelmed me with your support, I did some things yesterday that I know I would not have ever been in the mindframe to do without your help:

1) I planned out a weekly meal chart with healthy meals.
2) I bought only the appropriate amount of groceries for those meals with no extras and only in correct portion amounts to get me through the week.
3) I walked the 1/2 mile to the grocery store.
4) I walked the 1/2 mile back carrying the 20 pounds of groceries.
5) And, biggest of all... I SMILED and felt better about myself while I was doing it.

When my husband came home, I was looking at the floor the entire time I told him. And you know what he said? "Tracy, it's just a f'ing chair! I'm just glad you didn't get hurt! And you know what? They're pieces of crap chairs anyway, and I would have broken it, too, if I had leaned back in it. It's just a chair, baby!" I had gotten myself all upset, and what I realized was that it wasn't him I was worried about. It was the fact that I felt bad about breaking it and I was letting myself wallow in it. I owe each and every one of you my most sincere THANK YOU, because you helped me to pick myself up, dust myself off, and start all over again.

From the bottom of my heart-- THANK YOU. I hope you can somehow understand how good it felt to just be supported! I mean it--- THANKS.

Monday, September 26, 2005, 9:07 AM

aw. reading this list made me feel good too... If it makes you feel any better, I broke a really expensive chair at a dinner, in front of people that it mattered that I presented a particular impact on...

--amanda911

Monday, September 26, 2005, 12:40 PM

I am so sorry that that happened to you, Amanda. I'm sure you must have been so humiliated! I wish I could have been there to support you then!

Monday, September 26, 2005, 1:39 PM

oh hell, that's what style and grace are all about sweetie, coming out with roses and smiles after a prat fall.

Tuesday, September 27, 2005, 11:22 AM

Well, you did make an IMPACT, per se... LOL

Wednesday, September 28, 2005, 8:57 PM

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