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Not a weight loss question but I value your opinions....

Do any of you get easily jealous when it comes to your significant other and the oposite sex? How on earth do you control it if you do? My stomach is clenching at this very moment because my boyfriend simply mentioned another girl's name on the phone (we're doing the long distance thing). I don't want to ruin a good thing so I need help changing my mind set and learning how to control it.

Wed. Aug 30, 11:31pm

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Talk to him!

I trust my SO 100%, but there is one girl that bothers me when he hangs out with her. He also always goes out of his way to say how much his doesn't like her, so much that it makes me wonder why he has to do that. So, I talked to him about it and told me what made me uncomfortable, he explained that he thought I would think it was funny for him to make fun of her, and now I feel so much better.

Wednesday, August 30, 2006, 11:59 PM

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I'm new here

Does SO mean Significant Other?

Thursday, August 31, 2006, 12:27 AM

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It's very hard when doing the distance thing because that darned imagination keeps coming up with things! it may be onto something and it may not, but that doesn't stop you from second-guessing yourself on a regular basis.

My husband and I had to spend several months apart and the second I left a femal 'friend' of his, from before we met, immediately started calling him every week and having marathon gab sessions. She was leaving her husband, he was such a jerk, and on and on. Somehow my husband was genuinely convinced she was just going through a rough time (that happened to coincide with my going out of town for a few months) and needed a figurative shoulder to cry on, but when I pointed out the coincidence he was certainly willing to put my theory to the test. He didn't tell her I was coming back into town and when she called he mentioned that I was there she got upset. He really couldn't believe she had any ulterior motives - "but I'm married!" was his shocked exclamation when he finally figured it out. He then cut off all contact with her. So I'm glad we worked it out, but I was really hurt for awhile that he couldn't see that she was trying to undermine our relationship.

So I can't really tell you that you have no reason to be jealous, but I can sympathize and second what the first poster said. Good communication is going to be the key to keeping your mind at ease and working out any issues. I would try to at least say something if he mentioned another girl. Like "So, who is Jane? Anyone I should be curious about?" If he says 'no', then what else can you do? You have to trust him to some extent or you'll be miserable.

How long have you been seeing each other? Was it always long distance?

Thursday, August 31, 2006, 1:08 AM

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Hard, but possible IFyou Trust him, and do not feel inadequate.

Long distance relationships are hard, but possible IF you can trust each other. Jealousy is more about distrust and feelings of inadequacy than about the other person.

So...if you distrust your SO then you need to talk about it and if you have feelings of inadequacy you need to ask why?

Your SO is with you for a reason, list those reasons. They don't have to make sense to you -- they only have to make sense to him. So don't negate anything he says.

Thursday, August 31, 2006, 11:49 AM

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OP here- We have been together 3 years and we both ended up going to seperate colleges this fall. He's 5 hours away. After my post last night he sent the sweetest email to me and made me wonder why I ever get worried. It's so hard because all the statistics are against us saying "college is a time for change, it won't last", but he IS the man I want to marry and I'm hopinh we can beat the odds. I really just need to learn to control my urges and see both sides of things. I have a bunch of guy friends so why can't he have friends that are girls right?
Has anyone heard of successful long distance college relationships that might cheer me up?

Thursday, August 31, 2006, 6:05 PM

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When i was in college (im 26 now), my hubby and i were engaged. EVERYONE (except family, of course!) said it would not last.
We had a few rough patches- b/c i am too trusting of everyone i meet and we got into arguments about that, as well as the amount of time i spent with my new guy friends.
All in all- its wasent too bad. We were 3 hrs apart and could see each other almost every other weekend. We have been married for 4 yrs now and everytime i think about college, i love the great times i had! We totally (most of the time! LOL) trust one another and know the other would not cheat. We would break off the relationship first before we hurt the other one that way........I had this secret little weapon though...........BEFORE i left college, my hubby told me that 5 (or as many asi could pcture) could dance around him naked and all he would think is " When is my fiance coming back?". LOL. Anytime i got jealous (Not often), i would think about this and laugh at myself for doubting him! His friends agreed (and still do) that he only has eyes for me!

How was that for a story? Kinda long winded, i know! but i love talking about "those days".

Thursday, August 31, 2006, 9:46 PM

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