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is this okay?

Most of the time the reason when I am wanting to lose weight is for a guy that I am seeing.

Should I be telling myself "he should like you for who you are" or try and TRY to lose the weight using this as a good and the only excuse to do it.

I really want this but I am afraid that later I will tell myself "you only lost it for someone else" and then gain it all back.

Sometimes though, this is my only motivation.

Sat. Aug 26, 12:11am

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when your motivation to lose is weight is so a guy likes you more, what you're feeding is that your importance in life and relaitionships is relative to your dress size. Not a great idea.

Plus, to be honest, odds are that if you're doing is just for a guy, it's not much of a health issue, so you're gonna stress yourself out and obsess for a not so important reason. And most guys I talk to are more interested in a confident woman than one's not always talking about losing weight. If he says he likes you the way you are, trust him. If your weight matters that much to him, he's a loser, find a better guy.

Saturday, August 26, 2006, 1:08 AM

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There was a very similar thread a few months ago; I'll try and bump it back to the top if I can find it.

Saturday, August 26, 2006, 9:32 AM

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from my experiece-
i was losing weight at a pretty good clip because i kept telling myself that my hubby deserved a nice fit and trim wife since he is fit and trim his-self. he has never made a harsh word to me about my weight.( i have about 50 lbs to lose)
well to make it short and sweet, i started listening to people that i need to do it for myself and not for anyone else. blah blah blah.....
i almost imd. lost all my motivation and have actually gained weight. (this has been with hide sight)
this has been a relivation to me and i am changing my way of thought. i love to think i am making someones else's life better by my choices. to me, just to think it would make him happy is a motivator to me.

Saturday, August 26, 2006, 4:06 PM

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It IS for you, even if it's for him.

Even if you are doing it to attract a man, it is STILL for you. YOU want to attract him and this is one way to do it. So whatever the motivation... you are still the winner.

Saturday, August 26, 2006, 5:39 PM

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and if dying her hair blond was the only way to get him, would we say that's smart to do?

I agree with the first responder. If doing it for yourself isn't motivation enough, you don't care enough about yourself. And if someone else dicates the shape and health of your body, you have a problem.

Saturday, August 26, 2006, 5:53 PM

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I am the opposite. When I am single i get thinner.. when i am with a guy, we tend to eat bad and get bigger...


Saturday, August 26, 2006, 10:38 PM

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I'm getting tan to "attract" a guy, also growing out my hair, losing weight, getting french manicures on my toes, and plenty more. I don't see the problem. In the process I'm also getting more confident in myself. And once I "get" him, I'm going to be too good for him anyway and will have to dump him.

Sunday, August 27, 2006, 12:40 AM

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To the hair color poster...

I'm brunette, and my fiance really likes blonde hair. Since we've been together, my highlights have gotten lighter and lighter, and more abundant. I'm pretty dark, and I'm not sure that I'd look good as a full blonde, so I'll probably never do it, and I know he'd still love me and be attracted to me if I were entirely brunette. But, changing a hair color for someone else? It's so simple and basic and not at all a big deal! When I first met my fiance, he used to shave his chest; I hated the stubble and constant red bumps (and he hates what a hairy chest looks like), but after awhile, he gave in and stopped shaving it. Now it looks much better to me! It's okay to change appearances for others, as long as it's something that doesn't make you unhappy as well.

BTW, we're getting married this Sunday!!

Monday, August 28, 2006, 10:27 AM

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