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Is your significant other smaller than you?

Is you partner smaller or healthier than you? Does it ever make you feel down? My boyfriend is a buff soccer player and at times it has me wondering why did he pick me? How do you feel about it?

Fri. Jul 28, 12:23pm

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My boyfriend is definitely not smaller (and I wish he would start working out) but I definitely crave junk food and will say, lets go get ice cream and he's like no Ill just have an apple. He loooveees fruits and vegetables and while some may think, wow thats really great, it makes me feel fat and disgusting when I know I want junk!

Friday, July 28, 2006, 12:28 PM

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hehe.. my husband isn't active at all. He's a computer programmer and I'm constantly on his case about working out and getting in shape. (just because I want us both to be able to keep up with each other when we're eighty.

He's really careful about what he eats though, since he knows he's not moving much. It makes me feel like a horse when I eat twice as much dinner as he does. :( It's almost embarrassing sometimes.

we've actually come out and started talking about it recently, and I've been cutting back what I'm eating so my portion sizes match his a bit more. It's also a pretty nice feeling of accomplishment when I watch him hogging out on chocolate chip cookies and I pass the plate :D

Friday, July 28, 2006, 12:33 PM

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I dated a guy that was smaller than me and I really didn't like it. Not because I felt fat, I wasn't attracted to him. Who knows if it was the physique or the personality at this point though...

Friday, July 28, 2006, 12:49 PM

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My boyfriend and I were the same size for a few years (150 pounds). Now I am down 30 pounds and he is up 10. He has no interest in exercise or healthy eating. It sucks.

Friday, July 28, 2006, 1:05 PM

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My fiance is much bigger than me (i'm 130 and he is about 205) but he's not fat at all, just big. He eats well and exercises like me. I love that we have the same lifestyle and LOVE how much bigger than me he is! It would be hard if we weren't both health concious though...

Friday, July 28, 2006, 1:18 PM

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my boyfriend too is a computer programmer and isn't active at all. It drives me crazy!!! I was active and eating healthy long before we met-and only recently have i been wanting to change his eating habits (doctor says his cholesterol is too high for his age . . .future problems if he doesn't do something). He is bigger than me (i'm 5ft 3, 165 lbs and he is 6ft 1, 212 lbs), and always goes back for second portions, skips breakfast, eats unhealthy lunches . . .yet i'm the one who will binge on the ice cream or other sweets if their in the house. He'll have a bite and be like "mmm, that's good" and that's all he'll have! haha!

the last few weeks i have been able to get him to go for a few walks after dinner with me . . .so that's a start!

Friday, July 28, 2006, 1:29 PM

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My husband is a programmer too! However he runs 4x a week, lifts weights 2x a week and for the most part eats very healthfully. For the longest time I was 10 pounds heavier than him, but now I'm 13 pounds lighter :-) Our problem is that we'll cave in to the convenience of pre-packaged convenience food or eat out waaay too often. I'll gain weight doing that, but he won't gain an ounce :-( Ah well - at least he enjoys my new and improved healthy cooking and is active. It would be a lot harder if all he did was sit around and game or watch tv. Instead he's so very thrilled that I am becoming more active and healthy that he's happy to go do things with me (like hiking, walks, etc..) because he too wants us to be able to keep up with each other when we're eighty.

Friday, July 28, 2006, 1:43 PM

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I'm single, but I've always had an issue with not wanting to feel big around a significant other. I'm tall (5'9'') and I carry my weight well... though I need to lose about 30 lbs to be in a good state health wise. I hate that I feel BIG around some men. I'd like to feel small, so I'm much more attracted to men that are tall and have a nice stature. (aren't we all?)

Friday, July 28, 2006, 3:19 PM

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I'm lucky - I'm only 5'1", so most guys are big to me! My fiance is 5'8", not tall, but taller than me no matter what heels I wear!

But... a year ago, we both weighed about 130 lbs! I hated that! I didn't look too fat and he didn't look too thin, but clearly, proportionately, I'll always be bigger.

Now, I'm 120 lbs, and he's 140 lbs. He's still "skinnier," but I feel way better about it!!

Friday, July 28, 2006, 5:08 PM

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My husband is a programmer too!!! :<)

My husband is a programmer and does not work out. However, he has always been super skinny and pretty much smaller than me the whole time I have known him. He has tried to put on muscle mass in the past, but it just didn't work out for him. Eggs and protein shakes and tuna mixed with lifting...He increased his strength but didn't realy increase mass.

I don't think I will ever be smaller than him. It sucks. As the female there is this social stigma that we should be smaller than our male counterparts. My best friend dates a really big dude, she says she feels tiny standing next to him. I don't think I'll ever have that pleasure.

Friday, July 28, 2006, 8:59 PM

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My husband is alot smaller than me and always has been. He's around 138 and I'm 170 but he loves me for who I am not how big I am. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. But one day soon (in the near future) I'm going to be smaller than him.

Friday, July 28, 2006, 10:03 PM

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haha, we should start a group for significant others of computer programmers!!

Saturday, July 29, 2006, 1:35 AM

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not by much only by around 20 pounds. Husband weighs 175 I weigh 155. There was a time I was much bigger than him like 45 pounds heavier and I hated it it was after we had out daughter I did not want him to touch me It depressed me so bad That was why I just had to lose the weight so bad I could not deal with me being so much bigger.

Sunday, July 30, 2006, 8:37 AM

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my boyfriend is significantly smaller than me, and it has taken me a long time to come to accept it. it sure does stir up a lot of issues in my mind, though! i've definitely gone through periods of not feeling feminine enough, or thinking that he'll see me as a big pushy freak. i think we both approach the relationship with a balanced outlook, though -- i might be unhappy about being overweight and he might be unhappy about being underweight, but neither of us feel we have to 'prove' anything in our relationship, and we love each other for who we are. to the original poster -- he picked you because he loves you! that's something you need to remind yourself. all those ideas about the woman needing to be smaller and more delicate than the man---they are hard to let go of, but if you focus on the love in your life, hopefully those issues won't bother you as much. not that you can't still pursue a healthier body, just that you shouldn't beat yourself up about body types.

Sunday, July 30, 2006, 1:01 PM

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My boyfriend is just about the same height as me (maybe an inch shorter) and has the fastest metabolism ever. I hate it because he eats the fattiest/grossest foods in the world and still comes out with uber defined abs. I totally despise it when we stand in front of the mirror next to each other because my body is not as fit or as slender as his is...


Wednesday, July 02, 2008, 6:12 PM

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I used to weight 40 lbs more than him, now I'm 20 lbs less.
We now look like as good a match on the outside as we are on the inside.

Wednesday, July 02, 2008, 7:25 PM

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I'm smaller than my husband! I just realized that when I started on PeerTrainer a year or so ago I was about 10 pounds more than him. Now I'm about 50 pounds lighter than him! I've lost about 40 pounds and he's bulked up, all muscle, baby. We used to be a chubby wife and scrawny husband. Now we are quite an attractive couple, if I do say so myself.

What gets me though is that I worked hard all year to start running and I finally broke a 10 minutes mile. That was a huge accomplishment for me. Then he goes out the other day after not running for several years and runs less than a 7 minute mile. I'm proud of him but it is frustrating when something I've been working so hard at is so effortless for him.

Wednesday, July 02, 2008, 8:16 PM

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7:25 - down 60lbs?! That's fantastic! Yay you.

We're pretty much the same, but I definitely feel 'ugh' when I'm in a food and exercise slump and my dh is in a food and exercise groove. I don't think I could handle being with a guy who had no interest in keeping himself in shape!

Wednesday, July 02, 2008, 8:17 PM

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This is totally where I am. I feel like the chubby, frumpy wife to the skinny husband! I don't know if it's because I made poor food choices today or what, but I seem to just be a bit depressed. It always gets me thinking about why he is with me when I am clearly overweight. The fact that he talks about the young 20-something that sits across from him at work doesn't help. I know that no one is after my husband, he has too much baggage (4 kids, mortgage, wife, etc) but it still gets me down and then I get hard on myself. Need to snap out of this slump. I have to remind myself that I've lost 20 lbs. so far. Another 45 to go.

Wednesday, July 02, 2008, 9:10 PM

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9:10pm - 20 pounds is definitely worth feeling good about! You're almost 1/2 way there, so, yes, snap out of it and feel good about those 20 lost pounds!

And never underestimate the power of a woman with no self-esteem or scruples - she won't care that your husband has a wife, 4 kids and a mortgage! Not that he'd act on it, of course, but it's always good for the husband to know his wife thinks he's still got it going on so someone else doesn't do it for you. ;)

Wednesday, July 02, 2008, 9:22 PM

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I'm dating a vegan lol

Yes, my boyfriend is smaller than me and he's vegan so he eats much healthier than I do. I can relate about feeling insecure. Sometimes I feel awkward in public b/c I feel people are looking at us wondering why he's with a chubby girl. But I remind myself that we love eachother and we're best friends so it's deeper than a few lbs.
Luckily when I decided I wanted to stop eating fast food and start eating healthy (not vegan, but healthy) he was able to teach me a lot to help out.

Thursday, July 03, 2008, 10:55 AM

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I'm 5'-6-1/2" and 149 lbs. and hubby is 6' and 159 lbs. I love him skinny! When we started dating, it was a little different. We weren't into eating healthy or being fit. I was 177 lbs. and he was 187 lbs. We've come quite far in 7 years! The best part was being able to do this together. We keep each other motivated and in check. Both of us still have a little more to go (me more than him), but I like to think of us as a pretty cute couple.

Thursday, July 03, 2008, 4:12 PM

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