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Any Flybabies out there?

Wed. May 3, 5:15pm

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What are FlyBabies?

Wednesday, May 03, 2006, 6:06 PM

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Flybabies follow the FlyLady program for organizing your home and your life. can find more about it at's pretty neat actually.

I consider myself a flybaby wannabe....I'm trying to follow the program but don't always succeed.

Thursday, May 04, 2006, 10:20 PM

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OP here

Yes, the previous poster got it right. FLYlady also helps with what she calls "personal clutter" meaning all the fat we have accumulated and stresses on the baby steps.

I just recentely learned of her website and think its great! I've only been trying to follow it about a week now and so far I love it!


Thursday, May 04, 2006, 10:45 PM

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I am familiar with it and the program is great, but haven't been into it for awhile! I find that I have to put my all into somethig - even though I'm not supposed to try and be perfect!! :<) - and right now this weightloss thing has my all.


Friday, May 05, 2006, 9:09 AM

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To Star: Isn't according to the OP, eliminating excessive fat is part of FlyLady program? And what do you mean by "even though I'm not supposed to try and be perfect"? Human perfection is hard to achieve, but it doesn't mean we should all seize striving to achieve it...

Friday, May 05, 2006, 1:11 PM

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I have been following flylady for several years and love it. It is not about being perfect. It is about babysteps and routines. Having set routines will help to organize and improve your whole lie. BAbysteps come in to help get the routines done. It is not an all or nothing deal. One step at a time.

Saturday, May 06, 2006, 10:43 AM

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1:11 poster:

Part of FlyLady's instruction is to break people out of the paralysis of perfectionism. If someone doesn't suffer from that, no worries--but a lot of people who go to FlyLady for help are the kind of people for whom their own internal perfectionism (dictated usually by voices from childhood who could never be pleased) is a handicap. They have such high standards that they break themselves against them, feeling they can never measure up, that nothing they do is good enough, that it's always all or nothing.

You might have to hang around with FlyLady for a while to understand, but she has helped a lot of women for whom perfectionism is a curse. And perfectionism doesn't equal the quest to improve towards the goal of achieving human perfection at some point. It's the absolute need to be perfect now and in everything, to measure oneself by everyone else's standards, to see only one's own failures. And that's crippling.

Saturday, May 06, 2006, 8:44 PM

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flylady follower on and off

I have gotten so much help from flylady in the past. I had my mother's attitude- be mad while cleaning... and it was broken by just doing Flylady's steps. Now I just try and do a little at a time- a few minutes here and a few minutes there keeps my house relatively clean. I have a toddler so it is hard... Got to get them occupied with something and then scurry off and load the washer or do 5 items worth of dishes in the sink...
I have so many groups I am involved in online I had to just stop recieving the e-mails or being in the local group... weight loss is another one of my focuses... along with a toddler and an at home business.. my husband and his campaign... I could go on and on.

Monday, May 08, 2006, 12:45 PM

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I just joined last week. I haven't had a chance to jump into the beginner baby steps yet, but have been implementing some of the ideas on the site and it is really helping me.

Tuesday, May 09, 2006, 8:29 AM

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to 8:29 poster

I just recently joined about two weeks ago and have slowly started following her guidelines. I have made the shining my sink part of my daily routine now and I dont feel "right" if I were to leave it that way. I LOVE flylady, she is really helping me so much.

Tuesday, May 09, 2006, 10:10 AM

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To the 10:10 poster. I haven't done the "shining the sink" thing. I have taken an electric toothbrush to the edges of it though like she recommended! I guess I feel like if I start drying out the sink after every use, my husband my think I'm crazy. Especially since I'd be going from not even loading the dishwasher sometimes to shining the sink every night. LOL. That's not to say that he wouldn't love the improvement though.

It sounds like it's already become a habit for you! I'll have to give it a try.

Tuesday, May 09, 2006, 3:04 PM

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Give it a try! My husband did have funny look on his face but overall I think he likes this improvement. I use to "try" to do the dishes each night but only accomplished this maybe twice or three times tops per week. I always had to either get up early and feel frustrated and do them then, or wait till i get home before cooking dinner and do them then. Neither of these two brought good feelings.

There have been times when I feel like slacking off and then I just get into the "just do it" mode and then I feel good about it!

I shined my sink and now after each time I use it, i grab my dish towel and dry it up. You will be amazed at the wonderful feeling a nice clean, dry sink will give you.

Tuesday, May 09, 2006, 3:32 PM

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I think I'd rather have my husband clean out the sink himself...

Tuesday, May 09, 2006, 4:03 PM

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LOL. That's funny.

Tuesday, May 09, 2006, 8:24 PM

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I looked into it and have very mixed feelings -- kinda cool and helpful, but also kinda Stepford-Wife-y!

Wednesday, May 10, 2006, 12:06 PM

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I need to be a stepford wifey along with being skinny.... it seems like that's all there is around here where I live - the Moms are sooo damn snooty! This is day one of shining my sink!!!

Wednesday, May 10, 2006, 12:28 PM

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Good Luck! Let us know how it went!

Wednesday, May 10, 2006, 4:46 PM

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Ummm, this is 2006, right? Why does it have to be the woman's responsibility? And why do we have to compete with other women to be skinnier and have nicer looking houses???

Wednesday, May 10, 2006, 5:29 PM

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I thought there were some men on flylady too... and I thought everyone here was being supportive of one another. Maybe some do compete- but it is only because they were probably brought up that way and just don't know how to be different. Or they are overcompensating for what their childhood was like.. if it was the drastic opposite...

After flylady and after that a baby... I do what I can do.. it is more than I did pre flylady and I just don't beat myself up about it... and my husband will help me do the dishes too... it is the clutter that gets me but it does not bother him so he just does not "see" it...

Wednesday, May 10, 2006, 6:23 PM

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I can't believe how a light hearted post about Flylady has gotten people riled up. I honestly think that some people hover on the message board just WAITING for someone to post something that they can be argumentative about.


We know that it's 2006. We know that keeping up with the house isn't just a "woman's job".

Has it occured to you that perhaps some women consider "getting in shape" something that needs to happen in all areas of their life? I for one, am sloppy. My husband and I are opposites. He's the neat one, I'm the messy one. He's after me to do the stuff that most women are after their husbands to do. For me...getting into a routine that doesn't feel like a chore, will not only make me feel better about my currently non-existant role in the household and also take a strain off of my relationship with my husband. He will no longer feel like he has to do everything.

And as far as competing with other women goes...some people use competition as a motivator to push themselves in ways they normally wouldn't.

Wednesday, May 10, 2006, 9:32 PM

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I don't often meet a man who is miserable because his house is a disaster he can't seem to get a grip on. But I have known dozens of women who feel some sense of hopelessness about the state of their houses. So regardless of whether or not there should be a balance, I don't think those women can just quit caring, and we all know that people who don't care don't just start caring because a feminist or a husband or a wife or a parent says they should.

So let the feminists argue about that (I'll be with them), but in the meantime, Flylady seems to give many women who feel responsible, inadequate, unappreciated, and depressed about the state of their homes and lives a way to proactively eliminate the source of their depression and frustration. Sure, maybe their husbands should help, but they can't force their husbands to change any more than their husbands can force them to change in the ways *they* might like. So instead, these women learn some things they personally can do to make their own lives better regardless of other people's choices. There are hundreds of comments around the site from women who are happier because of what they have decided to do about their own unhappiness.

If we tell them they should quit doing it and go back to being miserable because we think the change should be more egalitarian, I'm not sure we're good feminists. Why should they wait around for a man to make them feel better?

Sort of like an earlier generation of feminists who touted choices for women, and then ridiculed those whose honest choice would be to be at home raising families. Think about it. If at any time women felt embarrassed and ashamed and worthless when they said, "I'm *just* a housewife," what cultural element was it that made being a housewife dishonorable and insignificant? We even had to change the name when we finally decided to acknowledge ALL women's choices, including the choice to be in the home, as worthy. Now we say "I'm a SAHM."

Just to clarify, I'm not irritated, upset, or angry. I'm an essayist...and discussions like this spark my essayist's heart. :^ ) I can't help myself.

Friday, May 12, 2006, 12:12 AM

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To the 9:32 poster, you are totally correct, I'm 100% sure that there are people who post just to be obstinate, cause problems, and mix up things things up, just to cause problems. Hey you negative and obstinate people, just chill, please...........go post to another website. We want positive!

Friday, May 12, 2006, 7:55 AM

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not a fan

I've been to the FlyLady website a few times and I just get frustrated. For someone who is supposed to be so organized, I think that website is the most cluttered mess I've ever seen. I pride myself on my sense of organization, but I'm always looking for new ways to organize stuff or streamline processes or whatever.
Does anyone know of any websites that are set up a little better?

Friday, May 12, 2006, 6:15 PM

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to 6:15 poster

I somewhat agree on the website set up. I do think she could do better. I am signed up for daily emails and do kelly's zone missions. Overall, just the tips and good advice she has given me has really lifted my spirits and attitude.

I guess for people that dont have the problem this website is pretty useless, but then there are others that need a lil extra help in accomplishing this.

Friday, May 12, 2006, 8:51 PM

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doesn't JUST shining your sink make you feel even more hopeless? I mean, it makes the rest of the house look even worse, no? One shiny sink and a giant dumping zone surrounding it?

Friday, May 12, 2006, 9:47 PM

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to 9:47 poster


The idea behind shining your sink is to give you a feeling of accomplishment and so that you realize that little by little "babysteps" and a few minutes a day will slowly but surely transform your home.

The idea is not to "JUST" shine your sink and leave the rest of your home as is. The whole sink shining is merely a starting point and habit forming.

Friday, May 12, 2006, 10:10 PM

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