Negative Thoughts About Being Thin?

I'm doing the PONR or as we've been calling it the "ponder" program. One of the things I've been pondering is my sometimes negative reaction to thinness. I find I like being a little heavy. I feel grounded, substantial, "big" (as in now I'm grown up), powerful, that I have reserves to draw on. Of course I also have the tape that plays --"fat, lazy and stupid"-so it isn't all positive.

When I think of myself as thin, I think weak, light-weight, "cute", not powerful, frail. Lately I've seen how shorter, smaller women in there their late 70s and 80s are treated almost as if they were little children. YUCK! The taller or heavier women don't express this happening as much to them. I want to be a old lady who is still in the game and not patted on the head.

Does anyone else have thoughts?

Mon. Feb 20, 1:46pm

I met a tiny lady in her late 80's this weekend, who teaches dance and then danced all night for fun. She was telling me about how she went to work straight out of high school, building B-17s at Boeing during WWII.

She is powerful. She is a tough teacher. She is also incredibly fit.

I want to be an old lady who can dance all night!

Monday, February 20, 2012, 3:01 PM

thin, silverfox = respect, powerful presence

I've been fascinated most recently with silver-haired-beauty. It appears to me that if you are old, you must be thin to look elegant in gray hair. Gray hair is unacceptable on overweight people. And overweight people do not look as elegant as someone at a desirable body weight. It sounds really harsh, but fat, no matter how beautiful the clothes, makeup and hair, will never look as effervescent, happy, healthy and sophisticated as thin. Age only compounds this.

I see fat people are not treated with as much respect and courtesy. And the older the person, the worse it seems. Fat middle aged people become invisible in our society. Yet I've seen many thin senior citizens that ooze sophistication and command presence when they walk in a room.

I know this all sounds horrible... it shouldn't matter how overweight a person is, or how old they are... it is a shame that we can be judged instantly within 3 seconds based on our appearance. Appearances shouldn't matter, of course. And when people take the time to know an individual, appearances are no longer important.

But on a superficial quick 3 second judgment...

(young or old) + fat = weak. weak choices, weak health, weak life force.

BTW, I am fat and middle aged, and this is the lense I view the world through.

Monday, February 20, 2012, 3:48 PM

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