single and sad

I'm going to a wedding Saturday night. All couples. 100's of couples. I had a date but he just cancelled on me. These are good friends ..at least the groom is ... but I don't think I can do it. Can anyone feel my pain?

Wed. Apr 26, 8:13pm

So much so. I had to go to a wedding, dateless, everyone was paired off. Baby showers were the worst. however almost every wedding I've been to has at least 2 single guys (and usually one is cute) to hang out with and at the very least, you become friends. And they usually have friends to introduce you to! Everyone's been in your spot and it's so hard so I totally relate.

Wednesday, April 26, 2006, 8:24 PM

Not sure if this will make you feel any better, but I'll be going to a wedding end of June by myself. Hubby made plans for same day. I won't know anyone but the bride and groom...

Wednesday, April 26, 2006, 8:33 PM

yep...been there. oh, boy. i've only recently gotten married and was one of the last holdouts in all of my groups of friends. i was always the *only* single person. as the other poster said though, there will be other single people there and you never know. you may as well make the most of it and try to have as much fun as you can. and if you are having a bad time, duck out early. it's an important moment in your friends life.

Wednesday, April 26, 2006, 9:12 PM

POWER TO THE SINGLESSS!

Be the best person you can be! I am single by choice and I love every minute of it! I am getting fit, smart and sexy before I meet someone, not because of someone, because I want to be the best person I can be before I am attached to someone. Take this time to become the person you want to be, take this time to really learn who you are, what you want and where you are going!!

There is someone for everyone, and usually when the person isn't just handed to you, it makes it all the better. I recently got this book, I am going to put a link to it, that makes it easy to meet people, and all this other stuff thats awesome for the single gal!!

Please don't even think that you arent enough by yourself, and that people who are married or attached have it any better then you. Each is different and each is great!!

Being the only single person CAN be awesome!.. I find it so much easier to be myself actually, you can really flirt with people, you can get to know couples who know single people, and you can really be independant!!!! I know it can get lonely but make sure you don't just go for just anyone. Have standards, keep them, and they will be met!!!

Link

Wednesday, April 26, 2006, 9:33 PM

I say make the best of it! Ask the groom (or the bride -- may be more likely to know) if there are single guys who are going to be there and if they can make sure you get introduced.
Hey, I went to a wedding solo last summer and met a ton of great people. Ended up dancing half the evening (more?) with the cutest guy I've ever SEEN... ...not that anything came of it, but it was mucho fun. If the bride and groom like you, they probably have "good taste" in other friends as well.
Be outgoing, introduce yourself around, smile, laugh, accept invitations to the dance floor. Single /= wallflower!

Wednesday, April 26, 2006, 10:31 PM

I went to a friends wedding with no date a few years ago. I was nervous about going solo, but once I got there and started mingling I found that there were several single guys and girls there. I ended up meeting a few new people and dancing the night away at the reception with my new - also - dateless friends. It ended up being a fun night. So yes, I feel your pain, it's a bit stressful, but I bet it turns out just fine as long as you go with a good attitude to visit with some new people.

Wednesday, April 26, 2006, 11:42 PM

hopefully this makes you feel a little better . . .

i was the QUEEN of being single till i went to a friends wedding in september 2004. My longest relationship up till this point had been a month and a half and i was 26 years old!! talk about feeling sad for myself.

i had gone on lots of random dates that summer and was getting really tired of the crappy guys i was meeting, and made a vow to myself that i was going to go and have fun alone (and act like i liked it!). i was seated at a table with 2 couples and 3 other single people who had come together. i didn't know anyone but the bride and groom and one or two other people in the whole place.

however, by the end of the night, i had "made friends" with most of the people at my table and we ended up heading into town afterwards for a few drinks (which included exchanging phone numbers in case anyone got lost on the way). Anyhow, I hit it off so well with one of the single guys from my table that after we left the bar i had the courage to call his cell phone as he drove away.

when he answered i told him "i think you should come back here and kiss me" and oddly enough he did (he's super shy!).

more than a year and a half later not only are we living together but MADLY IN LOVE!!!!

i'm not saying that you will meet someone at this wedding . . but you never know! my intention that day was to go and have a good time, and wish my friends well, i did my best to be friendly to the people i had been seated with and be myself (even though i can be a little bit much to handle sometimes!) and it was all so worth it.

Don't be sad about this wedding. use it as an opportunity to hone your single person smoozing skills and be the light of the party (well, don't steal the light from the bride!). Good luck . . .and i wish you all the luck i had that day! you will meet someone when it is the right time for you, i'm sure!! don't give up!
-andrea q

Wednesday, April 26, 2006, 11:49 PM

Oh, I feel your pain. Going to a wedding when you had hoped to have a date is not fun...

How about this... when I was in college, my parents were invited to a friend's wedding (We're Chinese). Well, needless-to-say, my boyfriend (not Chinese, but who would end up being my future hubby) was NOT invited.

So, I had to go to a wedding where the only guys there were the spiteful, mean, rude types that I had grown up with as a kid. Not my idea of a place to meet men (not that I was even looking to meet anyone.) Of course, I was with my parents, and had been roped into playing the piano for the ceremony for the bride, so I went along with it....

Later in the evening, when the bride threw the bouquet, I caught it... To my dismay and complete horror, when the groom threw the garter, the guys let it drop on the ground and one of their little cousins (about 4 years old) picked it up! The guys thought it was really funny to let the garter hit the ground and NO one (not even the bride's brother) even TRIED to grab for it. I wish I could have crawled under a rock at that point... Well, the poor little boy was completely confused (and started crying!) when everyone made a fuss about him catching the garter....

Needless-to-say, I was thoroughly humiliated (and missing my boyfriend even more at that point!).... What ended up happening, is that with a little "prodding" from parents, the bride's brother ended up putting the garter on my leg.

The thing that really kills me is this... 1) I am a nice person. 2) Although I don't consider myself to be "beautiful" by a long shot, I also don't consider myself to be a toad either. The guys were purposefully mean and cruel in a situation where no one had to be that way.

Anyways, my situation was not like yours in that I was kind of held hostage as an adult child (had I had it my way, I would have stayed home!) In hind site, If I had tried to go up to people and to start a conversation instead of sitting at my table NOT talking to people because I was sulking over not having my boyfriend with me, perhaps that incident would not have occurred....

In your case though, I agree with others-- have the bride & groom scope out a few single guys to introduce you to--I've had several friends meet their boyfriends & girlfriends that way!! Also, make sure to keep a smile on your face--Have a good time in spite of the fact that your date decided to bail. Why should you NOT be at the presence of one of the most joyful days in your friend's lives? Celebrate and go dance like crazy (usually, at times, the gals will go out dancing, too!) If you know any of the other guests, hang out with them and make your own fun!!

Thursday, April 27, 2006, 1:36 AM

i agree with the 'power to the singles' post

embrace whatever stage of life you are at, talk with the couples they are individuals too

Thursday, April 27, 2006, 10:47 AM

I always go to weddings dateless - on Purpose!

First, I HATE weddings. I'm 35, single, female. Did I mention that I hate weddings? HATE THEM. I don't hate them because I'm single, I hate them because more often than not they are drawn out, boring "parties" with bad music and even worse food. Because of this, I ALWAYS go alone. Why subject someone I like to such a bad time?

My advice - With all of those couples there, have fun by FLAUNTING YOUR SINGLEDOM! The grass is always greener on the other side, sometimes (myself included) we feel sorry for ourselves and forget that. Who knows, maybe there will be some fun to be had. I always survey the bride and groom ahead of time to find out what other fun people will be there. Plus, you could always introduce yourself as your evil twin/alter-ego. Do a George Costanza and tell everyone you're an architect...you see what I'm saying. Make your own fun.

And once you hug and kiss the bride and groom, offer your congratulations, just DITCH. They'll never remember...

Thursday, April 27, 2006, 11:21 AM

Weddings are a big party, oh so much fun! I'm single (mostly) by choice, going to a wedding in the Bahamas in June, alone, and I *can't wait*. Get hyped, girl. You are going to a big, expensive party!

Thursday, April 27, 2006, 11:29 AM

Without a date, this might be your chance to meet someone! Lots of couples meet at weddings, so good luck!

Friday, April 28, 2006, 6:01 AM

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