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Does anyone else have friends who try and ruin your diet? My birthday is coming up and my friend has made me a birthday cake . I have asked her not to I even begged her . She knows sweets are my down fall. She is leaving for vacation the day of my birthday so she brings in this sweet confection and says I know what you said but you are having a piece ! I think its rude! but is it rude of me to say no thank you I don't want any? I know she spent a lot of time in making the cake. She will be upset if I turn it down . Help ? What do I do?

Mon. Mar 13, 10:28am

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People are funny. If she baked it from scratch, maybe she was just wanting an excuse to bake a cake. I understand your frustration, though. If you can, perhaps you can take a very small piece and take a bite while she is there and invite the rest of your office to share it and then when she leaves, throw the rest of the piece away. I can see why it would feel like sabotage since you asked her not to. You may even make one last effort to tell her thank you, but no thank you, you aren't eating sweets and you won't be able to enjoy it so not to waste her time.

Monday, March 13, 2006, 11:36 AM

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Two possibilities:
You could turn down the cake, thus telling her "I REALLY REALLY meant it when I said NO cake." That might help you and her with the situation in the future.
Take a small bite/piece with her and get rid of the rest when she leaves.

Monday, March 13, 2006, 11:45 AM

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Oh for heaven's sake, one slice of cake is not going to make any difference to how much you weigh. If you cannot stick to eating just one small slice, then that's your problem and not your friend's. Anyway, you could take the whole cake to work and have everyone else eat it instead, in celebration.

Monday, March 13, 2006, 12:35 PM

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don't eat any, and give the whole thing away! You hopefully have co-workers who would love to have cake for any reason and now you can feel good for not playing to your weaknesses and for making other people happy with a surprise dessert treat!

Monday, March 13, 2006, 12:37 PM

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If you don't want it just throw it away. Why should you eat something you don't want to? You are not a garbage can - you don't have to eat it just so it doesn't get thrown away. Don't even take it to work where it will tempt you - just pitch it.

Monday, March 13, 2006, 12:52 PM

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...she wouldn't force you to eat cake if you were diabetic, right?

If you're good friends you will be able to thank her for her thoughtfulness, but also tell her that you don't want to sabotage your diet efforts - even with her fabulous cake, and you love her all the same.

Monday, March 13, 2006, 2:35 PM

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"You know eating that cake did/would make me feel really bad about myself. How 'bout we do ..... instead?"

The appropriate thing to do would be for her to take you out for the small indulgence of your choice. For future situations I have found it most helpful to give folks an alternative instead of just saying 'please don't do x". They want to do something nice for you and if you do not tell them what you want - you get what they want for you. And if they're not very creative or feel like baking then you're stuck with it. For future birthdays ask her to go for manicures instead, or take you out for 1 cupcake at a good bakery, or have lunch at a nice place, or you both ditch 1/2 day of work and grab a matinee and some coffee, or go for a walk along a neat trail and have a good girl chat.

If it's too late for the current year I think the suggestion others have made (take a slice and dispose) is most appropriate, but remember that by suggesting something you'd like MORE, you make it harder for her to justify making you a cake.

Best Wishes and HAPPY BIRTHDAY!! :-)

Monday, March 13, 2006, 4:29 PM

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