sexless marriage

there was another post like this a while back where someone's husband wouldn't have sex with her - this is the other way round. I never feel like having sex with my husband, and he's really frustrated and angry and hurt by it.. I'm not entirely sure it's all about libido. We have a lot of problems in our relationship based on imbalance. I've always been the one that earns the most money, and since we had our baby I've always worked, and he's stayed home with her, which I have resented hugely. I have wanted to stay home with her and it just hasn't been possible. He's a phd student and doesn't make a lot of money teaching as an adjunct. we've had countless fights about him looking for other work, and I"ve told him that I don't believe he is as 'unmarketable' as he claims (he's a phd comparative lit) and that if he really wanted to, he could be the one that went out to work every day and earned the money. he doesn't do anything about this though, and i've been doing all the money earning... and also all the housework. he doesn't do that either. he's a great dad, and i love him, but i'm starting to wonder if the lack of respect i have for him - because i think he doesn't respect me, and doesn't want to go and get a job - is killing my attraction to him. how can i feel attrracted to someone who lumps everything on me? i know he's doing a lot by taking care of the baby every day, and he's her dad and i would prefer that to a babysitter, if i had a choice - but my best choice would be me! I'm sick of sitting in an office.

if you're feeling resentment towards someone in a marrriage, you can't exactly want to have sex, right?
but i really don't want my marriage to go down the toilet. we have a one year old girl, and she's very important to both of us. i'm not at the point where i'm going to chuck it all away, but something has to happen to improve our relationship.

anyone else married to a student and acting as family breadwinner and sick of it? or - better still, finding ways to cope with it, and want to help me out here by telling me how? I'm totally miserable.

thanks!

Sat. Jul 22, 8:40am

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