I need support in giving support.

Help!
I have an insanely needy ex-bf, who I have remained friends with since breaking up a year ago, even though we now live very far apart. Psychologically, this guy clings as if he is a drowning man and I am a life preserver (he does this to everyone, not just me), and sometime I am so annoyed that I am ready to hold him underwater and drown him myself!!

Since I know someone is going to ask, he has resisted all kinds of therapy, talking to clergy, etc. -- he doesn't want to change.

HOWEVER, he DOES want to change his weightand improve his health, and he's been doing great. He's lost about 50 pounds, and has about 10 to go. He really should be proud of himself for this! Yet he just cannot stop asking for a compliment -- he never even gives me a chance to compliment him! Every e-mail he tells me how much he weighs. Recently he sent a link to some video and the first thing he asked was how I think he looked. (It was serious TV and I was much more impressed with what he SAID.)

I definitely want to be encouraging, and I want to tell him he's doing great -- because he is! But I'm SO ANNOYED by his constant begging that the words never pass my lips or fingertips. I feel really bad, because I never have any trouble praising and encouraging my PeerTrainer buddies, who in fact log far more about themselves. How do I master my annoyance and find constructive things to say to this guy? I think we are in a vicious circle.

Sat. May 27, 12:30pm

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