OT: I was followed yesterday

I had the worst experience last night. I went shopping downtown and as I was traveling back home a man was following me! I thought it was my imagination at first, but it was true- I started walking fast and he started sort of trotting after me. This was after him having been on the train with me for 20 mins and just staring. Every time I shifted in the train car he scrambled to get up to follow me out. I had to go to a police station at my stop and tell them. They stopped the guy (who was LOOKING for me as they stepped out of their office) and took information. They also made sure he got on the train going back wherever he belonged and said I could go on my way. I was so shaken up- and I still am. I pride myself on being strong, but there's little I can do to defend myself when dealing with a guy who's 6 feet, even if he was skinny. It makes me feel so vulnerable and weak. There's just so much evil in the world.
I have not slept all night. I keep feeling like life is unfair, especially for women. Men have it so easy.They know something basic, like their safety, is not something that they have to worry about. Women, on the other hand, are always getting harrassed, attacked, stalked, raped, beaten, abused, and killed all over the world by savages (men). It makes me angry, so super fucking angry.
As someone who was abused by my uncle from ages 2-5, and who subsequently saw my family drop the ball in terms of helping protect me after the fact, I am in this terrible place of not feeling safe with anyone under any circumstances right now. I'm not holding onto a grudge with my family, but I am freshly disappointed at them and their inability to have my best interest at heart as recently as this past June and last month, July. I want a marriage and family, but this issue of safety and trust makes me question if I could do either one reliably enough to have a true partnership, and whether I want to bring little people into a world where I cannot guarantee their well-being and safety. I would be devastated if anything happened to my children. Worse, I don't know if I'd be strong enough to take it, which was always what I thought I knew for sure, even if nothing else was certain.

Wed. Aug 13, 1:54pm

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