OT - highschool & friendship

I know this is off topic, but I really dont know what to do or where to go with the issue, primarily bc its not techincally MY issue. I have six children, the youngest of which is now 16. She is cute, sweet, smart, and has the most kind heart. On the other hand, she is extremely self-conscious, a little bit awkward at times, and has very little confidence in herself and her abilities. All of my children grew up with tons of friends and pretty much have type-A personalities, and so did she, until highschool. We live in the New England area, where there is tons of college-prep, single-sex, private schools, and have sent all of our daughters to the same all-girls high school. My other three daughters truly thrived there. They were able to hone all of their academic and athletic abilities, and were extremely ambitious and social throughout their years there. The all-girls atmosphere seemed to foster a 'can-do' attitude in my (oldest 3) daughters, and gave them the self esteem and confidence that many women leaders typically embody. BUT, this has not happened for my youngest daughter. The lively, social, vivacious little girl I once knew literally has NO friends and I really dont understand why this has happened. Now I know (teenage) girls can be competitive, catty and sometimes cruel to one another, but this doesnt seem to be the case for my daughter. She is not a 'stand-out' in any certain area, but like I said, she is attractive, sweet, and smart. She plays on 2 sports teams and also actively volunteers her time to school related groups, and although she definitely does not have any enemies, she does not have any friends either. I am at my witts end. It breaks my heart to see her in so much pain -- i KNOW she is lonely, hurt and starved for peer friendship, but at the same time, she is embarrassed, so it is difficult for me to bring up with her. She never wants to talk about it, but I can tell she is so hurting on the inside. At this point, she is a junior, so she only has 1.5 years left, but is there anything I can do???? She is past the age where I can call up the mothers of her classmates and arrange for get togethers. She is already very involved at school. She just hasnt 'clicked' with any group, and it is so sad. I think part of the problem is that girls that age are too young to see this for themselves, and it would sometimes be considered 'social suicide' to reach out to someone that is not the most popular or overwhelmingly 'cool.' I just feel so terrible. Highschool is supposed to be some of the best years of your life, yet under her smile and positivity, I know my daughter is struggling so badly. She is losing even more confidence in herself and there is only so much i, as her mother, can do to encourage her and boost her morale and self-image. I am so sad and so worried for her.

Help?

Wed. Dec 3, 12:36pm

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