life-long "frenemy"

I have this life-long friend with a nasty habit of being nasty. We met when I was ten, she was neighbor to a good friend of mine. Through the years, I've heard from people that she's a vicious back-stabber when it comes to me-- that "all she does is talk about how much she hates me." Meanwhile, she acts like she's my best friend. When it comes to everyone else, she's as sweet as pie or so she wants everyone to believe. She was never popular and has a chip on her shoulder. She was never popular for good reasons, but noone sees the truth about themselves at such a young age, I guess. So we've always gone through this cycle- she gets caught back-stabbing, I handle it with grace and instantly forgive her, she comes around and says "I don't know what I was thinking, you are the most loyal friend I've ever had". It still hurts, though, all the betrayals.

So, I, with her sisters in law and our other friend (I introduced her and supported that friendship through thick and thin) put on a baby shower for her. I and my friend made beautiful hand-made invitations and decorated the restaurant, bought beautiful gifts, split the bill etc. Also, we had done the same thing for her wedding and she was totally ungrateful and complaining. Ok, so she has her baby and never calls to tell me, never sends an announcement. I sent a congratulations note when I found out from a neighbor, long after the birth, who lives 4 towns away from her. No response. Finally, she calls the morning of a party of a mutual friend three months later, knowing she'll see me that day, to say she should have called. So now we exchange birthday cards and Christmas cards and I see her once in a blue moon. I called to say thanks for the birthday card 5 times and she screened me (she never goes out at night.) I said I was calling so much because I was going to be away for the weekend. So she left a message when I was away. That's all she ever does, leave a message when I'm at work or away.... once a year when she's forced to.

We've been friends for 25 years, but where's the Love? Should I dump her?

Thanks for your advice.

Mon. Nov 17, 2:17pm

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