Exhausted and depressed

I am thirty five, a single mom of two, and was recently diagnosed with chronic fatigue virus. I am exhausted. The doctor told me there was no medication and there was just vitamins to take (b complete). I am too tired to exercise all the time. I eat like crap, but I eat like crap because I feel like there is nobody that loves me anyway, so f$%k it, you know? I am smart and I know I am just sitting here watching life go by, but I can't seem to get the motivation to make the changes. I can picture exactly what I want to look like. I just cant get there! I don't know what is wrong with me. Seriously.

If feel fat, embarrased of my weight, and very unattractive. I am educated, smart, and have a good job. I know fat people do find love, but not many normal weight guys that are educated and successful in business (the kind of guys I am attracted to) want a woman who is fat. I know there are those few there somewhere, but lets be honest, the masses don't want fat women. I hate those threads that say "lots of guys love a bigger woman, as long as she has confidence" Thats bs I think. Most guys want pretty women and average to thin sized women along with the good personality traits. I want to feel pretty and attractive. I want to find someone who loves me someday and wants to hang out with me. I know I am a worthwhile person, but people can't generally see anything but the fat so there is just not much chance.

I need motivation somwehere, somehow... Any feedback or suggestions are appreciated.

Mon. Jun 29, 9:45pm

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