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Hand-me-down gift

I know this is off topic, but this directly is a reason why I still haven't reached my goal yet and keep holding on to this weight. Just last week, my closest friend of 10 years said she has a birthday gift for me. I thought to myself, "Wow. It looks like she's making effort to make this an equal friendship." See, this isn't an equal friendship at all. I'm always the one giving, doing favors, listening to her, etc. On top of that, she has been demeaning to me all throughout our friendship. I know she is capable of being a good friend the way she treats her other friends. I'm sick of hearing/reading on Facebook her other friends say how sweet and kind she is, blah, blah. They don't how she treats me! She's giving with her other friends too on their birthdays, for example.

Anyway, going back to the gift. When we meet up for dinner with a few others, she literally just hands me a Cheesecake Factory card (without the paper card) and the back of it still has the sticky rubbery attachment on it. Obviously it was a hand me down. Also, I've only eaten at the Cheesecake Factory half a dozen times in my life too. She didn't even say "Happy Birthday" either. Most insincere gift I've ever received in my life. I guess it's an upgrade from last birthday...she came over to my house for a family dinner (along with bringing home leftovers and asking my mom for a bag of homemade lumpias she keeps in the freezer) and brings an unfinished birthday card lol! Over the next following weeks I have her over for dinner again twice (one of them I personally cooked a 4 course meal from scratch) and still no card...and couldn't even bring the drinks I asked her to bring.

Then another recent incident just happened last night. Back in June, I told this "friend" of mine that if she needs someone to fill in at her job (which I held for a few years) to let me do it instead of giving it to our other friend (who has a full-time job and doesn't need the money). See, right now I'm taking board exams and have very limited income. So I find out last night that my "friend" had asked our other friend to fill in for her next week.

I'm just so angry and I'm fed up. I've always been a very good friend to her even though she doesn't deserve it. She doesn't even see how she hurts me and hasn't changed. After the gift card, I truly realized she's not a friend and that the friendship is over. However, it's hard to really let go of a decade friendship. Plus, we know a lot of the same people so we'll be seeing each other again in the future.

The pathetic thing is that I've allowed her to control my use of food (aka using food to fill this void and the anger I have) and therefore my weight and thus my self-esteem. I have at least 15 pounds left to lose (mind you I'm short and small framed).

I'm not sure what I'm asking. Part of it I just need to rant. The other part is maybe I need futher confirmation that it's OKAY to let go of this "friendship." I want to confront her about the gift card (and even the above job situation) but I'm not good with these things.

Thanks for reading.


Mon. Aug 2, 4:16pm

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