Advice on recurring dream

So this isn't weight loss / health related at all, but since I can't afford a therapist :-) I thought I'd ask my fellow PTers for their thoughts.

I've had a recurring dream for about 3 months, and now I'm dreaming it every night. I wake up crying, and it's pretty distressing. Yesterday I figured out why I'm having the dreams, but last night I dreamt the same thing again.

Background: My first boyfriend and I dated in highschool. I broke up with him when he was in the army. We remained close, and he wanted to get back together. Finally, when he moved on and found another girlfriend, I was devastated. I realized I'd made a big mistake, and tried to reconcile. He refused, but we continued to be friends for about seven years. The scenario of him wanting to reconcile and me not being keen, and vice versa, went on for seven years! I had other boyfriends in the interim, but he remained a big issue for me.

When I left my home country, I felt the need to call him up and ask him one final time if he thought we had any chance of a future together. His answer was no. I grieved for about 2 days, but that was followed by a HUGE sense of relief that it was finally over. And it is. I will always care for him, but I no longer regret that I messed things up.

Now I'm in the US, and am engaged to the most wonderful man. He adores me, and we're getting married quite soon.

In my recurring dream, I do something to piss him off (I never remember what it is)... He withdraws from me completely, I realize what I've done, but it's too late. He is very dismissive, refuses to talk it through, avoids me, and starts spending time with his ex-wife. I try in vain to make things right between us, but he eventually leaves me, saying that he no longer loves me.

My question / request for advice is this: What do I need to do to reassure my subconscious that this scenario isn't going to happen? I really want to stop having these dreams, because I usually can't get back to sleep, and wake up exhausted in the mornings.

Advice?

Fri. Sep 29, 9:22am

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