So What do men really want in women?

Listen up men...DO YOU ALL WANT Angelina Jolie for your mate...or just your sex kitten...or is that all crap that the tabloids tell us about that perfect body.

FESS UP!

Fri. May 30, 12:31pm

You might want to ask this kind of question on a site with more than 20 men. Just a thought :)

Friday, May 30, 2008, 12:41 PM

Men want you to quit asking what they want. They expect you to be a psychic.

:-)

Friday, May 30, 2008, 1:02 PM

I thought that was women ?

Friday, May 30, 2008, 1:50 PM

I think they just like to keep us guessing!!! But for the most part they like to have a healthy confident woman who can hold their own. Fitness and good cooks are a plus.

Friday, May 30, 2008, 1:52 PM

That CAN'T be what all men want. I have just about the most fantastic husband in the world (married 17 years- and yes he's HOT) and he married me when I was down right FAT and not at all attractive as far as I'm concerned. Even our kids look at the pictures now and say "no offense mom, but Oh my God, why did Dad marry you?" Okay, so I don't look like that anymore but I did for 7 years of our marriage. He treated me then the same way he does now. Chased me around the house for nookie then and still does...LOL!. So, I sure wasn't Angelina Jolie and I'm not now either but I found a great one. They are out there so I can guarantee that is not what all men want!

Friday, May 30, 2008, 3:01 PM

Very honest man here. Are you just venting or do you really want us to answer that?

Tell me what it is you really want to know and I will tell you. And OMG please! It is not Angelina.

Friday, May 30, 2008, 5:11 PM

My boyfriend says his ex girlfriend was a crazy b*tch, but when I ask why he was with her..."she's really hot".
That didn't make me feel so great but at least he was honest.

Friday, May 30, 2008, 5:31 PM

I want a girl that dresses and acts like the girl next door when in public. Atractive but not gorgeous. And defiitely not ugly. She has to be kind and considerate, the kind of girl I can take home to my mother. And ma would love her. It would help if she's a good cook and likes outdoor stuff too.

But -- she also has to be the kind of girl who looks hot when we're alone. Bedroom eyes just for me. Sexy talk just for me.

In a nutshell -- an angel in public and a devil behind closed doors.

Saturday, May 31, 2008, 11:15 AM

5:31 - remember that he's talking about an "EX" girlfriend! ;)

And it's time for women to take care of themselves and not shape themselves to be what men want! You'll notice none of the 20 men on this site are asking us if McDreamy or Brad are what WE want in men ;)

Saturday, May 31, 2008, 12:31 PM

I dont think anybody knows what they want until they find it. Luckily for me I found it ;-)

Saturday, May 31, 2008, 2:34 PM

I think like women - they are looking for that special connection. If it were truly about being HOT then none of the HOT people would ever have been broken up with! Celebrity (the so-called HOT people) marriages are proof positive that both men and women need more than HOT.

It's not about the physical IMHO it's about the person who makes you FEEL like you are home. :)

Saturday, May 31, 2008, 3:10 PM

OP here-

OKAY so 2 out of the 20 men have responded and I'll take them both. Obviously the real tit and ass men with sex kitten requirements don't hang out on PT!

The media just gives us crap to read about what men are looking for in a woman.

I thought maybe on this anonymous type of post it might shake out a couple of men that could shed some light on the subject.

Saturday, May 31, 2008, 6:44 PM

I just asked my boyfriend this question - after reading this thread.

He said men want someone loyal, independant, trustworthy, cool, dresses well, sexy, confident.

Now that I look at that list, thats what most ladies I know want in a man!

Saturday, May 31, 2008, 9:57 PM

9:57
You are a lucky woman...keep him around!

Sunday, June 1, 2008, 11:32 AM

9:57

Man here. I have to agree with your bf. All those things make me attractied to a woman.

After I trust her, there is nothing more SEXY about a woman than her independence. Something about a woman who can handle her own just makes me want to be apart of her life more and more.

But don't get that mixed up with the fact a man needs to feel needed.

Monday, June 2, 2008, 1:15 PM

I once had this talk with my boyfriend about his perfect "type"... what kind of woman he thinks looks perfect (mind you, we're just talking about looks). He gave Maggie Lawson as an example. A few days later, we watched PSYCH (which has her in it), and he didn't even recognize her. He still thought she was hot, but apparently not in a very specific way.
However, he wants to be with me specifically, because of all the little things. There is a big discrepancy between what is "hot" in general and what they "want" specifically (and I don't think it's too different for us women, either).

Monday, June 2, 2008, 1:15 PM

My husband and I have a different relationship now that I have lost weight

Op here-
One thing I know without even asking my husband....

We have a different relatinship with me 60 lbs lighter. He was getting a chip on his shoulders, and seemed to want to go out with friends, but not include me in the group of friends. Kind of like being out with me was a burden.

He never said it, but I could tell he wasn't attracted to my body anymore.

He never wanted to hug or grab me anymore.

Overthe last 2 years I have lost the weight and he has become more playful with me in every way. Maybe part of my personality has changed as I lost weight, I don't think so.

I think it is truly how visual attraction effects his overall desires.

We are planning a weekend wilderness hike, just the 2 of us, leave the kids at grandma's... That is something he would have left his fat wife at home and picked one of his buddies to go. Now it is me he wants to be around.

I don't have a perfect body, but I don't think he wants perfect. I am stretched out and strangely saggy....but I weigh 155 and have been very faithful with gym workouts and being a healthier overall person for 2+ years.

If your man strays from you don't kid yourself...if you are fat....that may be part of it!...He simply isn't attracted to it physically.

Tuesday, June 3, 2008, 2:47 AM

PP, it also sounds like maybe you can DO more! At 60 pounds heavier, how far could you have hiked, and how fast? I'm sure that being in better shape also means that you can participate more fully in more activities that both of you enjoy.

Tuesday, June 3, 2008, 9:29 AM

Just being truthful here (from a married man)

It sounds crude, but I think a lot of married men want a lady in public but a slut in the bedroom.

And if you've read that and think it's all about sex, you don't get it.

Tuesday, June 3, 2008, 10:01 AM

Just buy an issue of cosmo and be done with it.

Tuesday, June 3, 2008, 10:39 AM

Well then 10:01, why don't you give us some specifics, 'cause that's such a trite old saying used so many ways that it doesn't mean anything at all any more.

What exactly is "A lady in public?" Does it relate to weight? Dress? Personality?
And what exactly is "A slut in the bedroom," if it doesn't relate to sex?

Tuesday, June 3, 2008, 10:50 AM

PP ...no kidding.

Wednesday, June 4, 2008, 2:30 AM

Weight and looks in general are a huge factor I think. I was with my ex and I asked him what would happen if I got really fat. He said "I would still love you, but I wouldn't be attracted to you". When I asked him this I was too thin, on the weight charts for my height my weight was "underweight". Then, over maybe 12 months I got really fat (was reading at "obese" on the weight chart when at my worst). We stopped having sex, only maybe once a month, we faught all the time, he slept on the couch, if I touched him he would yell at me. I ended up leaving him, couldn't handle the emotional abuse. After we broke up and he realised we weren't getting back together he went crazy trying to get me back. Once he knew it was over the weight didn't matter, he wanted to be with me and when he was around all he tried to do was touch me. I didn't go back to him and since then have lost some weight, not all of it, about 14lbs or so. It turned out that being told you're useless 5 times a day makes you not want to do anything, but when you're free - well there's energy to spare!
After leaving him I've been hit on plenty of times, although nothing like when I was skinny. I started seeing my current partner about 6 months after I broke up with the ex, and we've been together over a year now. My weight has never been an issue for him. Although he does like big-chested women, so if you want an E cup you have to expect a litle extra padding in other places!

Wednesday, June 4, 2008, 3:42 AM

I think the lady in public and a slut in the bedroom.. I think the poster is referring that he wants his wife to treat him ina way thats only for him.. how she feels and shows him that he means the world to her.. wanting to do things for him and make thier life more special in and out of the bedroom

inthe bedroom she carries herself in a confident sexy mannerthat turns him on because of her being herself and confident in who she is.. nothing is more sexy toa guy in or our of the bedroom than a woman thats sure of herself. not bitchy, but confident.

shes aluring and sexy when she carries herself withpride in her appearance.. not weight necessarily, but wanting to look her best.. putting herself out there.. opening up to him in a way liek she has never beared her soul to anyone.

being vulnerable to him.. letting all her fears go and letting her hair down and transforming hersef into his woman.

Wednesday, June 4, 2008, 4:00 AM

pp-
I like how you described that! Thanks.

I love being a slut in the bedroom. It makes me feel like all the workouts in the gym are paying off!!!!!

OP here-
When I was +60 lbs my husband and I had a season of "troubles" He told me he loved me, but wasn't attracted to me. At that time I didn't realize it was the weight. We just never touched, and he seemed to be so far away from me, almost detached.

I committed to a new me, for me and lost weight. Now I realize it may have turned around my marriage as well.

I don't think it makes him(hubby) a bad person. It is just how visually influenced men are in general.

3:42
I could so relate to what you posted, especially after seeing it in my husband. My heart just ached as you described it...

I am sure we are not alone, and more women (especially after babies) have experienced this.

Wednesday, June 4, 2008, 8:24 AM

The "perfect body" message is 100% marketing. If they can keep you focused on how you're not "prefect", they can keep selling you stuff. Crazy crap, but the health & beauty industry's huge. The tactic works.

Assuming your basic decent guy (i.e. one that's not a psycho, drunk, or doing dope), we men are pretty simple creatures. Pat us on the head (show appreciation), put food in our tummies and be playful in private after the wedding bells. Then we'll face an alien armada alone armed only with a chew toy, all for our dear goddesses. You don't have to look like a supermodel. You know we don't. :)

Also, we can't read minds. If you want something, ask nicely. We also want to fix things that are broken because we love you. If you just want to talk, let us know you just want to talk and have us listen. We're also capable of just sitting on the couch and holding you while you talk. Otherwise we'll want to fix things and give the lousy advice that we always do, which runs counter to your desire to talk. You get ticked, we're unhappy. :)

Want to turn us off? Criticize what we do, especially the things we do for you. Don't pay us much mind. Use sex (rather, the lack thereof) as a weapon to "get back" at us.

There are other dynamics and personal preferences, of course, but those are pretty consistent features of your basic man.

For the fitness angle, yes, we generally like our women to be companions and do things with us, and we like our women to care enough about themselves to stay healthy.

Treat us decently and we'll put up with a lot, but it's a turn off when women don't care that much about themselves. The "if he loves me he'll take me even if I'm a fat bitchy slob" attitude really dampens enthusiasm. Yes, we love you and will put up with crap, but there is a limit at which point the sex kitten next door **really** starts looking attractive.

My two bits. Married 19 years to my sweetheart.

Thursday, June 5, 2008, 3:41 AM

OP HERe

Reading 3:41 made me feel so good that any other words don't seem to compare.

For any ladies healing from dead beat men, there is proof that keepers do exist!

Friday, June 6, 2008, 2:16 PM

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