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Sick of feeling like this

I need to gain some self esteem. Im 131lbs and 5'4'' and everyone says i look great. Ive never really weighed loads (143 at heaviest) but even at my smallest of 119 i wasnt happy. In fact when i was thinner people said i looked ill and guess what I got a buzz off it. It was too little to maintain though. Im pretty toned and exercise well but on days like this i just feel like crap.

Wed. May 28, 3:57pm

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You need to find something that you do like about yourself.Maybe your eyes, you might have a great smile, pretty hair, nice legs, you might be a real good friend. Think about something that you like, focus on the good in yourself and in others.

You need to learn to like and love yourself, before others will like and love you.
We train people on how to treat us.If we feel good about ourselves, no matter the size; others will be drawn to us.

I good way to help you feel better about yourself. Do something nice for someone else. It could be an old Grandparent, a coworker, maybe you could babysitt for a friend so she could go out with her husband. In doing nice things for others; nice things will come back to you.

I hope you find peace and happiness; realize that it is not a certian "size" or a "number" on a scale.True joy and happiness has to come from the inside.

Wednesday, May 28, 2008, 4:10 PM

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I would suggest doing something that involves helping others. That way, your self-worth isn't made up of how you look, but will be made of what you do.

You could:
-volunteer for red cross
-volunteer in your community
-help children (big brother/big sister, foster care, baby-sitting, etc.)
-help raise money for charity (art sale, bake sale, food drive, side walk sale...)

Take the focus away from your size and your looks and put your energy towards doing good for others...I think this will work wonders for your self-esteem! AND...I think I'll take my own advice!

Wednesday, May 28, 2008, 4:16 PM

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The thing is deep down i know i look good. I dont know why i feel like this. It isnt all the time just sometimes. Im also a nurse so like to think i do good to people everyday but I still get days like this. Maybe I should take a long hard look around me and realise what i have in my life is worth a lot more then losing 1 more pound.

Wednesday, May 28, 2008, 4:36 PM

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Just because you are a nurse, you are doing your job. That does not count.I also am a nurse. If you know that you look good, Whats the problem?

Once again, take the focus off yourself, invest your time into other people and things will be much better.

Wednesday, May 28, 2008, 5:00 PM

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OP I can completely relate to you. I am your same height and was your same weight.. though have fluctuated down between 115lbs and 120lbs. Now being in that range I still don't feel as happy as I thought I would be when I was still 132lbs. I understand the "buzz" you feel when other people comment on you looking ill at a lower weight, but it's funny that reaching a certain number and getting that buzz just doesn't create happiness. I am going to take the other poster's idea and even though in my job I help people I think I need to do more and give some of my time without pay.

Maybe make a list (I'm all about lists like pros & cons) of all the things that make you happy. Like playing with a little sister or neice, hiking outside, family BBQ's, making someone else smile.. etc.

Wednesday, May 28, 2008, 5:41 PM

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Maybe you should stop worrying about your weight and focus more on eating healthily and exercising.Your body should settle at the weight that's right for you. Focus on feeling good and healthy, not on the number on the scales.

Thursday, May 29, 2008, 6:05 AM

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I think the idea about volunteering and helping others is a good one.

Also, when you said you get a buzz when others say you're too thin, that set off a red flag for me. Have you thought about seeking therapy? A counselor who specializes in weight/self-esteem issues should be able to help you get to the bottom of why you're always unhappy with your appearance.

Thursday, May 29, 2008, 9:42 AM

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You are all right. I have decided to add some kind of voluntary work into my schedule. I am being sooo self centred. When I read back what I have said I was embarrassd at how ridiculous I sound.

Friday, May 30, 2008, 3:29 AM

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It didn't sound ridiculous. That's what this community is for. We have to support each other. Good luck.

Friday, May 30, 2008, 12:27 PM

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