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I cant resist when with friends!

I do really well on my diet with my daily routine, or when I'm alone...but then if I'm at an event or even at a friends house I CANNOT resist temptation! I'm working on it...but its really difficult for me to be social and keep my diet in check. Is it wrong for me to opt out of social events involving food for a while? I know it would help me lose the pounds but I'm afraid that I NEED to learn how to resist or I'll never maintain. Any advice? my friends know I'm dieting but none of them are and so even though they have healthy options they also have the fattening stuff for themselves and I cant help but eat it! I've tried eating before hand but the problem is that all of my friends are bigger than I am...the difference is that they dont feel the need to lose... I have about 10 pounds to go and they all have 20 or 30 more than when I'm around I feel like its ok for me to indulge. Because they dont have the same mind set, when i say I dont feel like going to a certain restaurant or vegging out they talk me out of it by saying how much thinner I am than they are... I need advice on how to avoid gaining and hurting feelings please!

Sun. Feb 5, 8:12pm

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Free Fat

I liked one of these threads on a similar subject. I have found that advice helps me avoid over indulging when I go out to buffets: Think of the non-sensible items as free fat. Imagine it going directly on your hips...thighs...wherever. Do you really want that free fat now? No! That's for other people. Your food is on the other tray.

Sunday, February 05, 2006, 8:30 PM

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It sounds like the reason you're giving for (potentially) passing on the poor choices when with friends is that it's fattening. Perhaps you could switch your focus and explanation to health.

i.e. "I'm really interested in gaining and maintaining my health, and so I'm avoiding foods that won't allow me to achieve that"

That sort of answer doesn't have anything to do with weight, so your friends (and you) can't use your current, future, or past weight as a reason to over indulge.

Just a suggestion anyway...

Sunday, February 05, 2006, 9:09 PM

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friends will understand, and best yet, SUPPORT!!!

I have a friend who eats nothing but junk, and may weigh 110. Its just how she is, so when her and I hang, I want to eat what she does.
But, I told her I was trying to get my weight in check and she completely supported me. So I ordered the healthy stuff and she shared a bite or two of the bad stuff. This way I was a good girl w/out being deprived.
I say go for the friends and be vocal about your choices. You'll be really glad when everyone starts commenting on how good you look.

Sunday, February 05, 2006, 9:24 PM

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Is there a way you could re-focus some of your social activities on non-eating things? Maybe suggest a hike or exploring a new neighborhood or museum on foot? If you can make a couple of each week's social activities non food oriented, you'll be off to a healthier start.

Sunday, February 05, 2006, 9:27 PM

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I am often in the same situation. i have lots of friends and given our various schedules I would say at least 75% of social situations involve at least 1 meal. So if I want to see them I'm going to be around food. My friends are totally supportive but there are often unhealthy and tempting foods. I have managed to do the following: I pick 1 indulgence for the occasion. Then I eat 3 bites of it and that is my treat. However there are still certain things that I don't eat because I consider them calorically too expensive (like cheesecake or hot fudge).

I like the 'free fat' mantra. I do think of quite a few foods like this, but that's a nice way to summarize it.

I also suggest potlucks or BBQ's over eating out and I know at least several of us will bring healthy options.

Sunday, February 05, 2006, 10:57 PM

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Come up with some tricks, too. Have gum or mints with you. Remember you can take some food home. Remind yourself how good you'll feel later if you order something healthy. Come up with a positive non-food reward for yourself for succeeding even when you're tempted, like a bubble bath or a manicure or a new pair of earrings...

It's okay to skip out occasionally to avoid really overdoing it, but you're right that you'll have to face it and overcome it. The idea of sharing with your friends that you're trying to adopt healthy eating habits is a great one. You may even end up helping motivate them.

Monday, February 06, 2006, 9:01 AM

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I plan, plan, plan ahead as best I can. If I am going to a restaurant, I check out the menu online before hand. I try to pick the most filling foods for the least number of calories. I get water, tea and/or diet soda to fill up on liquid, too.

For example, at Pizzeria Uno's, I get a big bowl of veggie soup (110 calories) and a side salad with double veggies and no croutons (about 150 calories with the fat free dressing). That way, I'm eating for the same amount of time as everyone else but not splurging at all!

Monday, February 06, 2006, 10:06 AM

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When I eat out, I tend to look at things on the menu, like grilled salmon or a grilled chicken dish, as out of the question b/c they cost like $12, and a burger costs like $7, not because I'd really rather eat the burger. I'd definitely rather eat it than a salad though! So, now I go out to eat less often so that I can afford the more expensive entrees that I really like. It feels like a "treat" to order grilled salmon w/ veggies instead of a burge or chicken tenders, but it's also soo much more healthy!! And I'd rather splurge on $$ than on calories.

Monday, February 06, 2006, 10:51 AM

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I had this same problem when I first started watching my weight. For a while I opted out of events but then my friends feelings got hurt. I just sat them all down and told them the truth. I want to hang out with you but it's too tempting. I'm not trying to enforce my lifestyle on you but I need your help to keep me on track when we are at a party, restaurant, etc. I have to say they took it to heart and really supported me. They knew if they didn't I wouldn't go to the events. One friend confessed that it made her feel guilty when I ate heathly and she didn't. It felt good to talk it out with them. When we go out now they don't encourage me to have dessert and I sometimes make suggestions to them on what to eat (some healthy choices and sometimes what I would have for dessert if I could). Hope that helps.

Monday, February 06, 2006, 1:37 PM

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I know exactly how you feel i have just switched over to the raw foodist lifestyle to feel heathier and look healthier and then they say, why did you do that, you are so skinny and if i had your figure i would indulge every once in awhile which is 5 out of 7 days for those people but the difference is i am focusing on my health and maintaning my weight unlike any of them. But i cant say that because it would hurt there feelings so i just say i wnt to stay healthy. People can be so judgemental sometimes it makes me sick though and they practically force the food down your throat by offering it to you 20 times. So the best advice I have to give is what i do and that is to tell them i want to stay healthy and maybe pack your own snacks to there houses or get togethers. If they can't respect that and support you then they are not really concerned in what you are doing.

Monday, February 06, 2006, 4:38 PM

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Think of all the hard work...

you've done to get to where you are now. I usuallly find that to be motivation enough! If your friends could afford to lose 20-30 lbs. and are bigger than you, look at them before you decide to indulge. Do you want to end up like them? If the answer is truly "no", then remember how hard it was to get where you are and how much harder it will be to meet your goals if you keep setting yourself back by indulging. One other factor to the equation...everything in moderation, don't deprive yourself to the point where you don't enjoy social events or avoid them all together, it's okay to treat yourself once in a while, just don't over do it.

Monday, February 06, 2006, 5:28 PM

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