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afraid to get thin????

i have come to a point in my life where i want to get to my ideal weight for looks and health .(now 5.7 240 lb) i have been on diets in the past and have always exercised dailyi am in good physical shape for my size. but in the past i sabatoge myself everytime. i finially sat down to ask myself why and it shocked me- i am afraid of what i will look like thin! i'm afraid that once i lose the fat i will look like a deflated balloon. has anyone else ever felt this way???and how do you get past the mental image.

Fri. Feb 3, 4:11pm

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I also had fears of losing the weight but not because of your reason. Mine was because the weight made me feel safe, safe from myself and men and mostly from my past. Its true that some people look not so good after losing a large amount of weight but if you lose it slowly (1-2 pounds a week)and exercise regular as you lose your skin should look okay. Really at 5'7 and 240 I don't think you look as bad as you picture yourself, we are our own worse enemies. Losing the weight you will be healthier and feel and look better.. Even though you are healthy now doesn't mean you aren't putting a big strain on your heart and over time, well you know. Just start out slow and exercise. I have lost 66 pounds and I look fine, although I see myself as I was still. Good luck, and I hope that you find lots of support.

Friday, February 03, 2006, 4:24 PM

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I know how you feel but for different reasons. I'm afraid that once I reach my goal weight I won't be able to maintain it. It's like the fear of success. I'm trying to not think that far ahead too often. Because if I can make a lifestyle change then it will all fall into place. I'm trying to set goals for myself that are not just weight loss related but health related and activity related. I don't think I'll ever look thin. But I do think I will look strong and healthy. When you lose weight it is all progressive. It's not like your balloon is going to pop overnight and noone will recognize you. :) I just have to keep telling myself to stick with it. That I'm doing it for my health and my life.

Friday, February 03, 2006, 4:33 PM

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yea but for a different reason

I'm also afraid of losing too much weight because
a) I'm afraid of jealousy from other people
b) I'm afraid I might actually look worse.
c) I'm afraid that people will think I'm anoreixc
d) I'm afraid of regaining what I lose, which is the worst feeling ever
e) I'm afraid that people might not like me anymore

Some of these feelings make no sense.
but in the end, it's what will make you the most happy.

Tuesday, February 07, 2006, 6:33 PM

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I totally agree.

When I decided to start loosing weight, I really didn't want to because:

My expensive suit wouldn't fit anymore
I didn't want to fail
I didn't want to have to maintain
I love going out to nice restaurants
I didn't want to obsess too much (I know myself)
I hated exercising
I'm still afraid I might have to have a tummy tuck due to saggie boobs/tummy.

But I weighed that against the pros:

My insurance will cost more if I don't loose weight (bcz obesity is now a pre-existing disease)
I'm going into a profession where being overweight makes you uncredible (no, not stripping)
I wanted to stop wheezing while walking (it was also the ciggies)
I want to shop in Ann Taylor, not Talbots for Women

And I decided to go for it.

Tuesday, February 07, 2006, 11:21 PM

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I totally understand this. I have been afraid of losing weight mostly because I'm afraid of not being able to maintain it. I don't want to lose it just to gain it back again. It's really hard to change lifelong habits. Food has been a good friend to me even though our relationship is only superficial and its effects are short lived. I need to find a way to look at food as nutrition and fuel rather than as a treat or comfort. And there are times when I do. When I first joined PeerTrainer, I was doing great for a few weeks, but then the holidays came and I had all sorts of excuses for not following my new habits and then "relapsed." Then I *gained* five pounds because I just gave up. Now I'm on the slow struggle back again. I wish it were easy.

Wednesday, February 08, 2006, 10:29 AM

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If you're afraid of what you might look like, look at KissMeKate's before and after pictures from her blog. They're really intimidating b/c she's lost so much and looks so good, but, she looks soooooo good! Not at all like a deflated balloon! Just like a cute girl.

Wednesday, February 08, 2006, 11:26 AM

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I so agree guys! I think about this all the time! Ive been essentially the same size all my life, and I am actually scared sometimes to the point of tears that it'll be worse when I get thin. I feel I have an awesome persaonality and I dont want people to be looking only at my body. I think we are afraid because, well I think because one day I may get up and be a different person. I just think that it wont be so bad because weight loss does happen slowly, so it can't be all that scary if its a gradual change you know? Maybe when you look at the before and after kinda shots it'll be weird, but I think we'll all be okay, if nothing else we'll be healthier and live longer being thinner, and that something I wasnt even more then looking good =D

Wednesday, February 08, 2006, 12:16 PM

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Afraid to get thin?

Wow, this thread hit me like a ton of bricks!!! This makes so much sense. Now I can name some issues that have been holding me back but, what do you do with that knowledge? How do you become unafraid?

Friday, February 22, 2008, 8:50 AM

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I had/have the same problem. When I started losing weight, I was only 20 lbs. over weight (according to the chart of weight vs. height). I was scared to death of losing, but I wanted it so badly. I think I was mostly scared of attention from men, and losing my dearest friends to jealousy. Now that I lost 20+ lbs., I realize the adjustment wasn't that bad. I have a few friends that did get jealous, but we are still friends, and I think they are getting used to me being smaller. I do have a little more attention from men, but I think that's due to a higher self-esteem. I can handle them, no problem. I, also, think I was worried about being able to maintain my weight loss and not seem like a failure to family and friends. So far, so good because I changed my life style.

I realize that eating made me feel comfortable and let me burry my problems. Now that I don't binge eat or eat to cover up my feelings, I have had to deal with the real issues-not food, but issues I didn't want to deal with. That part is over and I discovered a whole new me. I'm so glad I decided to lose the weight. I got past my fears and so can you.

Friday, February 22, 2008, 12:18 PM

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I have a huge fear of losing the weight.
I have lost a huge amount and yet have more to go but I am at the point where men start to notice me and talk to me and hit on me.
I have never had that before except the last time I got to this weight. And the last time it scared me so much I gained it all back. Plus more.
I don't konw how to get over the fear. I am fighting it every day, it is always in the back of my mind every time I leave the house.
I don't know what to do or how to deal with it. So I am taking it one day at a time and try and overcome it for today.
I even have thought of seeking a councelor but don't know how to find someone that deals with this.
When the weight has always been my protection from the outside world as well as a comfort when things go bad and now I have neither. I don't know how to do this.
Ya I am afraid. How do you know you will be safe?
You don't you just have to pray and hope.
So that is what I do.

Friday, February 22, 2008, 6:53 PM

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I am not trying to be offensive, but I dont get it. Why dont you all like attention from men?

Friday, February 22, 2008, 8:50 PM

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I have some fear. I recently went on a date and the guy seemed normal. After he mentioned he really liked me a lot, but wanted my to lose 20lbs. It became evident (as some women here have met and married guys like this) that looks were a big big thing to this guy, and that he would forever make MY weight his business.

I was able to realise this before a second date because I have 20lbs to lose. If I was goal weight, would I have been able to see he's such a waste of skin? I don't know. And THAT scares me about being thin.

Friday, February 22, 2008, 9:02 PM

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For me, Though I have had some really special male people in my life I have had some that abused me terribly.
How do I trust?
I don't. And the last one that I did trust really messed me up.
So there you go.
Men are scary.
Sorry to all the guys out there who don't think you are, in my mind you are terrifying. Yet at the same time I don't want to be alone.
So I struggle every day to overcome the fear and lose the protective barrier.
Most men don't look twice at someone my size but to make me the butt of their jokes. What am I supposed to think?
Maybe someday someone will look at me. Not my fat.

Food was a good friend to hide in, but I am tired of hiding. And really if you think about it food abused me too. It makes me sick and will kill me if I eat the wrong things or too much. Some friend huh.
Sorry I am rambling.
Hope that answered your question 8:50

Saturday, February 23, 2008, 5:01 AM

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Why dont you all like attention from men?

For me this fear is best explained by my high school year book. I had a bunch of male friends in high school, I was pretty athletic and not at all overweight. I'd known most of them all through school but when I got home and read my year book for the first time I was really shocked. Almost every one of my guy friends had wrote a message along the lines of..' I will miss your hot body and great tits!'. I felt humiliated, betrayed and embarassed. Maybe I was naive but I had no idea that was how they saw me. Some people might ask why I didn't just take it as a compliment, and I don't know. I'm not saying that it still bothers me, I got over it very quickly and I'm still friends with some of those guys now, but I'll never forget that that was how they chose to remember me.

I've been slowly gaining weight every year since leaving school and now I'm 40lbs overweight. These days I know that men are my friends because of my personality. I'm scared that things will change when my body starts to change. But I know that I can't let this hold me back anymore. I'm not an insecure teenager anymore. I know who I am and I know I deserve to be the best me I can be in every way.

Saturday, February 23, 2008, 8:00 AM

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Scared of men...

I had a fear of men, and maybe still do a little. I'm in my mid-twenties, and married. My husband started dating me when I was 30 lbs. heavier than I am now, so I'm not worried about him being a jerk about my weight. I know he would love me at any weight. In the past (high school), I had no idea how to handle the amount of attention that I received from boys. I didn't know how to say no to them because I really wanted their attention, so I gave them whatever they wanted. Wow, I never actually put that into words. Now that I'm older, I think I can handle men's attention pretty well, and the wedding band speaks for itself, but I guess there is still that lingering sense of pain (?) from my past.
I'm glad I responded to the question because I never realized why I was/am so scared of men. It's because I am a desirable woman, and I know that. I'm smart, funny, pretty, and, just recently, got my hot bod back. There's no way I can be myself and not attract attention from men. I just have to reassure myself that I can say no to any man. I am not a naive teen anymore.

Saturday, February 23, 2008, 9:40 AM

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My fear is that
Instead of being the ugly fat girl,
I'll be the ugly thin girl.

Saturday, February 23, 2008, 2:56 PM

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BINGO, 2:56

As long as I'm overweight, when I fear that some people don't like and respect me, I have an excuse. What will be my excuse if I'm thin and still feel inferior?

Saturday, February 23, 2008, 4:07 PM

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a return to love - marianne williamson

Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate.
Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.
It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us.
We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant,
gorgeous, talented, fabulous?
Actually, who are you not to be?
You are a child of God.
Your playing small does not serve the world.
There is nothing enlightened about shrinking
so that other people won't feel insecure around you.
We are all meant to shine, as children do.
We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us.
It is not just in some of us; it is in everyone.
And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously
give other people permission to do the same.
As we are liberated from our own fear,
our presence automatically liberates others.

Saturday, February 23, 2008, 9:12 PM

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Embrace your potential!!!!!!!


Saturday, February 23, 2008, 9:22 PM

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