OT What to do?

Sitting here alone on a Friday night sucks, especially when you have a husband out hitting the town. I am tired of the way things are going but don't have the "balls" to change them. My husband is going blind and according to our little fight this evening he feels guilty that he ever put me in this spot. I love him and I think I can deal with the change of him going blind but he doesn't want me to. And I know the way he is acting now I can't honestly put up with him. I came from a home where my parents are still together after 40 years, and I never saw myself as someone who would get a divorce, but he is making this really hard. I feel as though I am a b**tch if I were to get out and leave him to dealing with his blindness on his own, but at the same time if he doesn't want me around what can I do. Tonight he went out with the boys and the boys girlfriends. Now I wasn't asked to come because there wouldn't be enough room in the vehicle, this was why we began the argument in the first place. My guess is its probably an SUV he just doesn't want to be around me. Now he doesn't usually go with friends but that is only because he is working so much, and now that he has the weekend off I was hoping we could actually go out and do something. He works 2 nights a week and works days throughout the week and then he is usually off on Friday nights but works on Saturday nights. So I understand when he doesn't want to go out on Fridays because he is so tired from the week, but surprise surprise tonight he has no problem going out as long as it is not with me. And because we don't go out on Friday we don't go out at all, because like I said he works on Saturday nights although not tomorrow but I'm sure he will be exhausted because he went out tonight. Well anyway I don't know if I am being selfish or what but I would just like to feel like I am someone special to him and instead I feel as though I am always second best. He seems to treat everyone else like they are human and treats me like something the dog dragged in. I think I have always felt this way and it isn't new because of his blindness. So what do I do, take the easy way out and run or do I just deal with this and hope things work out. We have been through so much together misscarriages, worked together, layed off together, and we have always made it through it but I don't think he really wants to this time.

Fri. Jun 6, 11:05pm

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