CommunityBrowse groupsBlogEtiquetteInvite Your friendsSuccess Stories


OT: Is there a polite way to ask for money as a gift?

My mom is turning 60 & my siblings and I are throwing her a surprise party. In lieu of gifts, we'd love to "get money" (I feel so declasse even writing it) to send her and our father on a trip. Anyone have any experience asking for money? How did you word the request? Advice is appreciated!

Thu. Apr 10, 10:43am

Add comment  
maybe set up a donation website like they use for races - and put on the invitation "in lieu of gifts please donate to our "send momname and dadname to placetheyaregoing fund" and provide the website.
yes, asking for money sounds weird but it is not like you are asking for money to pay for the party or keep for yourself - it really is a gift.

Thursday, April 10, 2008, 10:52 AM

Add comment
In answer to your question - No, it is not polite to ask for money or to direct gift giving in any way. If you're looking for polite then the best way is to inform people of what you'd like to do if they call to ask for gift ideas.

This was taken from an etiqutte website:
Honestly, there isn't a nice way to ask for money instead of gifts. You can do it if you insist on being tactless, but some people will be terribly offended. You shouldn't try to direct your guests' generosity in advance to something you want instead, whether it's cash or anything else--as if you are entitled to gifts of your choice (or to gifts at all, for that matter).

Thursday, April 10, 2008, 1:54 PM

Add comment
Any real friend of your parents would WANT to contribute to such a wonderful cause. I think that the website idea is great. Anyone that is offended is a bit overly sensitive, imo. Good luck!

Thursday, April 10, 2008, 3:39 PM

Add comment
I know some travel places when a trip is booked, can have other people donate monies to the cost- many do this for couples wanting a great honey moon instead of new small appliances, sheets and other things on a typical registry.

Call around, and some place should have something where you can simply put on the invites "Mom and Dad are 'registered' at XYZ Travel"

Thursday, April 10, 2008, 3:48 PM

Add comment
It is tacky, but becoming more and more the norm. I don't think those who are offended are overly sensitive, just attuned to etiquette!

Thursday, April 10, 2008, 3:50 PM

Add comment
When I am giving a gift to a friend or family member I try to be 'attuned' to what would make them happy, not the rules of etiquette!

Thursday, April 10, 2008, 5:56 PM

Add comment
thanks for all the answers guys. My sib's and I thought is would be perceived as "tacky" but we weren't sure b/c the world of etiquette has changed so much with the advent of cellphones and the internet, etc. There are registries at amazon and things like 'honeymoonwishes' but I couldn't find anything trip realted or general. I guess there's really no way to word it at the bottom of the invites, if people ask we could suggest "american express gift cheques" maybe?

Thursday, April 10, 2008, 6:20 PM

Add comment
5:56 - Being attuned to what soemone wants is being thoughtful. Being told what to give someone (especially when it's cash)...well, even the most thoughttful gift giver might bristle at that; obviously not everyone, though! People will inquire if they want to know what the gues of honor would most appreciate.

OP - If people ask, then I think it's perfectly fine to make your suggestion. Have fun planning your party - what a great gift in itself :)

Thursday, April 10, 2008, 7:17 PM

Add comment

Related Content:

How To Lose Weight- The Basics
Weight Watchers Points System
The Fat Smash Diet
The Eat To Live Diet
The Beck Diet Solution
How To Get The Motivation To Lose Weight


How To Be Successful Using PEERtrainer

How To Burn Fat
Online Weight Loss Support- How It Works
Does Green Tea Help You Lose Weight?
Tips On Using PEERtrainer
Visit The PEERtrainer Community
Diet and Fitness Resources


Weight Watchers Meetings
Learning To Inspire Others: You Already Are
Writing Down Your Daily Workouts
Spending Money On A Personal Trainer?
How I Became A Marathon Runner


Preventive Health

How To Prevent Injuries During Your Workout
Flu Season: Should You Take The Flu Shot?
Are You Really Ready To Start PEERtrainer?
Super Foods That Can Boost Your Energy
Reversing Disease Through Nutrition

New Diet and Fitness Articles:

Weight Watchers Points Plus
How To Adjust Your Body To Exercise
New: Weight Watchers Momentum Program
New: PEERtrainer Blog Archive
Review Of The New Weight Watchers Momentum Program

Weight Loss Motivation by Joshua Wayne:

Why Simple Goal Setting Is Not Enough
How To Delay Short Term Gratification
How To Stay Motivated
How To Exercise With A Busy Schedule

Real World Nutrition and Fitness Questions

Can Weight Lifting Help You Lose Weight?
Are Protein Drinks Safe?
Nutrition As Medicine?

Everyday Weight Loss Tips

How To Eat Healthy At A Party
How To Eat Out And Still Lose Weight
The Three Bite Rule
Tips On How To Stop A Binge