Life's to Busy

Working, raising kids, sporting events, cleaning, obligations...my life is SO busy (as I'm sure many others agree) that I feel like I'm working and eating my life away. I keep saying I wil start my wellness program...tomorrow...but tomorrow seems to come and go so quickly that when tomorrow comes, it never seems to slow down long enough for me to jump on the wagon. My kids are growing up too quickly too. The next thing I'm going to know is that they have graduated and will be moving out. How do I slow down this crazy merri-go-round?

I have to work (7:00 - 3:30). I have to rush home to get the kids a snack then off to practices/games (5 days a week, plus some weekends). When we return, I have to cook then clean-up (almost everyday...although we eat out about twice a week). I also have to fit in time to accomplish tasks due to being a small business owner...as well as a volunteer. Then, I have to find time to fit in at least 30 minutes of exercise (5 days a week). I feel like these are things I HAVE to do...and I HAVE to rush around in order to crunch it all in each day. Can you tell I'm desperate for answers (and a vacation)? :)

What do YOU do to slow life down in order to enjoy its gifts?

Wed. Apr 2, 8:11am

OP here...oops, I'm so sorry about the title, which should read Life's TOO Busy (rather than "to" busy).

Wednesday, April 2, 2008, 8:12 AM

I enjoy life by remembering that there's nothing I HAVE to do. My kids don't need to be signed up for every activity they want, my house doesn't have to be picked up every single day, I don't have to have all the 'things' that require I work more, etc. We make family time and family dinners a priority - that's how we decide who can sign up for what, I get up at 5am to workout - that's 'me' time, and so on. We have a very simple, yet very fulfilling life. It's all by choice and by design.

I hope you find time for yourself - every mom needs it. Well, scratch that - you never FIND time, you have to MAKE time or it will never happen!!

Wednesday, April 2, 2008, 8:55 AM

You said it perfectly pp! My house isn't always clean (not filthy, but cluttered), and my kids do one activity per season. They go to after school programs so I can have gym time (or whatever needs to be done time). You're not just robbing yourself of "me" time, you're robbing yourself of time with your kids if you're rushing from one activity to the next. Do some sort of activity with them outside as a family and let the laundry pile up. So what? I'm sure you don't want this to be the example you set for them....if you're stretched too far then they're going to see it and model it one day.

Wednesday, April 2, 2008, 9:21 AM

great advice ladies!

I want my kids to be kids, therefore, we only sign them up for one activity per season as well and we coach their teams. We figure we have to be there anyway, might as well get involved.

On weekends we make time for things like swimming in our pool, sliding down the hill and having a fire in the middle of the day during winter, jump roping, using sidewalk chalk, playing with bubbles, going for bike rides, etc. Our neighbors know our house is cluttered because we don't make a fuss about making sure everything is perfect. I've learned that a messy (not dirty) house is not a direct reflection on me. It means we're too busy enjoying our lives to clean.

I do, however, wish I had more time for the gym. I go on my lunch breaks for 30 minutes 5 days a week. It's not much, but if I don't do that, I won't get a workout it. I'm already up at 4:30 and don't go to bed until well after 10:00.

Wednesday, April 2, 2008, 9:46 AM

9:46 - good for you for taking those 30 minutes! And 5 days a week no less! That's great. I love it when people carve that time out for themselves when it's so easy to throw up the hands and say, "I don't have time!"

I was just telling my husband the other day that it makes me feel good that the reason we don't things knocked off our To Do List very quickly is because we're having too much fun - either on our own or as a family :)

Wednesday, April 2, 2008, 10:41 AM

10:41

this is 9:46 checking in. I am a TO DO list lover! Addicted to my TO DO lists. If I don't have them, I won't accomplish what I need to. And If I don't get things done, I'll get up at 2:00 am and do dishes and laundry just to mark those things off my list. Insane, I know!

I spent too many years not taking care of myself and letting myself gain weight and get out of shape. I know I should workout harder and make more time, but 30 minutes on my lunch hour is all I have. I make up the time on Friday afternoons instead of going home. It's a sacrifice to give up half days on Fridays, but I'm worth it.

Wednesday, April 2, 2008, 11:02 AM

I feel the same, all the time. But here's what I have found:

Sacrifice a clean house for a healthy body.

Enlist help. Can your kids help you cook and your husband cleans up? Can you save a trip to the store by ordering groceries online? Can you hire someone for 10-15 hours a week to help with your business? Your own personal time is worth money, too!

Don't over commit. You do a lot for others, maybe you don't need to volunteer. You should volunteer to get yourself to the gym!

Leave half or a full day a week plan-free. No games, no work, no house cleaning, no volunteer work. For me, it's Sunday from 2:00 until bedtime. Whatever happens happens. A nap, a good workout, a movie, dinner out, whatever!

Wednesday, April 2, 2008, 11:34 AM

BOO!

I like the PP - but sheesh you guys are freakin' me out - I've got one little boy with another on the way and want more kids still. Our solution is no TV to spare quality time, but man - does life have to get so crazy with spouse and kids ? ?

Wednesday, April 2, 2008, 12:00 PM

DO NOT BE A SLAVE TO YOUR HOME....LIVE YOU LIFE W/ YOUR FAMILY & FRIENDS.. I am not saying never clean. assign days for certain chores, assign chores to certain people...delegate!!!

Wednesday, April 2, 2008, 12:01 PM

To 12:00

Enjoy the early years because I found that the schedule didn't ramp up until mine were in school. I used to kind of chuckle at those giant mom calendars people kept in their kitchens with everyone's activities markered in, thinking how on earth can anyone have that much to do and not be able to take care of it mentally???!!! Guess what, I have one and I live and die by that thing!! Gym time gets put in there too!!!

Wednesday, April 2, 2008, 12:28 PM

Could you walk or run outside while your kids have their practices? Then be done by the time they are done? I'm not sure if that would work but I'm assuming you stay while they are at practice?

I do agree with the other posters though, make health a priority and the rest will follow!

Wednesday, April 2, 2008, 12:33 PM

I'm the OP - my son is a senior this year, and my daughter is in 7th grade. They are each in one sport per season, with the exception my daughter who takes gymnastics one night per week. Growing up, I played sports year round, and my parents never attended one game or practice (except for senior night, and they left right after the recognition). So, I have always made it a point to be there for my kids. Therefore, I have coached their teams (prior to middle school) and was/am a team mom (middle and high school). So, it does keep me busy, but I do THAT because that is my way of being involved with the kids, since they spend so much time with their activities. As for my house...my mom was a clean freak...I am nowhere close to that, but you're all correct about being more laxed about the house cleaning. That is definately doable.

12:01 poster, the kids and spouse is DEFINATELY worth it...most definately. I just get tired at times, and this is one of those times. I do not put work ahead of the family, but working is a necessity for our household. Anyway, I just wanted to get an idea of what others do to steal a bit of time for themselves. Thanks for the comments :)

Wednesday, April 2, 2008, 12:54 PM

I do think that having no TV in the house gives you way more time if you are tired and crunched. This way any recreation my wife and son and I do is all interactive, like walks and games and talking or getting more sleep. TV isn't sleep or a bath or real person to person interaction, so we make no time for it.

I know most people could never convince their family, but we haven't had one since '98.

12:00

Wednesday, April 2, 2008, 1:24 PM

9:46 and 11:02 checking in.

I agree with the TV thing. Our TV doesn't come on during the week unless someone is sick or extremely tired and needs chill time. My hubby and I watch TV after the kids go to bed.

On the weekend, we usually don't turn one on until 7:00 pm. There is the occasional movie here or there on rainy, quiet days or cartoons in the morning, but my kids would rather be outside riding their 4 wheelers or playing in the sandbox or pool or jump roping. My parents lived on the couch with food and so did we. I do feel that contributed to my poor eating habits, however, they are mine to own now that I am an adult.

Wednesday, April 2, 2008, 4:39 PM

PP, I agree!

Same with the computer. Shut the thing off. Email can wait until tomorrow at work. "Just checking email" always turns into 20 minutes of reading a news story, looking something up on wikipedia, poking around ebay... Go for a walk instead.

Wednesday, April 2, 2008, 4:41 PM

small business

Hi, OP I understand your time constraint problem. I am looking into opening a small business and was wondering what your small business was and how hard it would be to start one in my area? Working set hours for someone else is not working for my family. I need more flexibility...I would really appreciate any help in this area that I can get...

Thursday, August 21, 2008, 4:38 PM

Sorry if someone else has already posted this but I dont think so. If you go to www.flylady.com this is a good planning tool that helps you to stay ahead of your house with very little time dedicated-if practiced of course-so that you do not need to sacrifice a clean house OR quality time. I am a probation officer and see defendants in my office that have child abuse or neglect charges for having dirty homes-I agree that this sounds like an extreme case but not all are filthy disease infested homes and the kids arent ripped out becuase of it but the parents will have to take parenting classes that they pay for and meet with me which they also pay for and this just adds to the already crazy lives that we all live. I am not saying a load of laundry cant wait because it can but the website I listed above helps to focus on family while minimizing the needs in the home because you are two steps ahead-it free as well

Friday, August 22, 2008, 4:26 PM

My thoughts

Don't get so busy trying to make a living that you forget to have a life.

Friday, August 22, 2008, 4:31 PM

I agree with you.
Kids don't need to be in all the activities, your house doesn't have to be spic and span all the time. Maybe you can buy some additional clothes and do the laundry just once in two weeks or so.
Try and cut a few slacks here and there and I am sure life won't be that hard.

Friday, August 22, 2008, 5:02 PM

Email done at work shoudl be work-related email, or you are stealing from your employer. And if checking email leads to checking news stories, scanning wikipedia, or browsing eBay, hopefully those are part of the job you're being paid to do...

We dont have our kids in many activities, and we take Sundays off from everything except church and quiet family time. We--my husband and I--go out on Friday nights, dates, every week. I'd happily dump the TV if he would agree...We heavily limit the kids' and our own computer time and I probably average about four hours of TV a month. Our older kids are expected to give us part of every other weekend, dating and so on notwithstanding, and Monday nights are sancrosanct as well--we have family time, including treats and games and discussion of an important topic (we take turns leading that).

Friday, August 22, 2008, 6:44 PM

Sounds fabulous, 6:44p! How we spend our time is simply a series of choices. There is always enough time :)

Friday, August 22, 2008, 8:00 PM

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